Confess on My Wayward Son

I’m tired of high school kids or people that apparently didn’t mentally leave high school yet.

I’m sorry that your life is boring and I’m sorry that people never taught you otherwise, but despite popular misconception, no one actually owes you shit. No one is under any obligation whatsoever to you to be someone more or less than themselves. It’s not their fault they don’t fit into the mold that you made for them and you don’t have the right to ask them to.

If you wouldn’t do it for someone, then don’t ask anyone else to do it for you.

He sure as hell deserves better than to be made out to be some bad guy because he’s not like her or you or them. Stop with the goddamn witch hunt when he’s already apologized. It’s not his fault that your friend overreacted. It’s not his job to coddle everyone and be nice. He doesn’t owe you shit. If you can’t take him as he is, go away. No one’s forcing you to stick around.

I know it's not my house, I know they're not my pets. But I'm still really sad over the fact that my two favourite cats in the house are just...gone. Karen didn't even warn us that they were getting rid of them so I didn't even get to say goodbye, which feels stupid but...like, one of those cats was finally warming up to me after hating everyone since James' grandma moved out. The other has loved me since I started coming over to visit, when James and I started dating. No even mention of the absence of the cats or what happened to them--it's like it didn't matter enough for them to acknowledge.

It just sucks seeing pictures in my phone from just a week ago when I was playing with one of them. The one that's left is a sweetheart too, but I know she's Karen and Ray's baby. I loved the other two because no one else gave them as much attention. But I guess it's not really my place to question the actual owners' decisions. I just miss them a lot.

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On the topic of living here, I cannot wait for James and I to house-sit my mom's apartment so that we can get a taste of how it'd be like to have our own place. I'm hoping it'll help convince him that it'd be better for us to start looking for another place to stay rather than stay here because recently it has been one thing after another that keeps making me wish we didn't live in that house.

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Edit, so that I don't double post.

I shouldn't be surprised when my paycheck gets a cut like that. If anything, I should be keeping my budget right where it is, and then whenever I do get bonuses, I don't change it. Because as long as I live within my means with some give here and there, I should be good. Altering my budget when I get more money is how I fail (like how I am right now).

Money is so annoying. I knew deep down I shouldn't have gone to the ER for my back--now I got a nice $450 hospital bill out of nowhere as well. I have the money in savings to take care of it...but damn is it annoying having to dip into my trip savings again (and this time legitimately, not like the other times when I was hungry or just being a brat).

My self-control is out the window. I don't know why I've become this way, but I need to straighten the fuck up. Same in regards to me losing weight. I have zero discipline anymore, and though it's kind of good because that kind of discipline in the past went hand in hand with my depression, I need to sever that connection and do it for my sake. Because this lifestyle is unsustainable.

I wouldn't vote for you weak chinned, wispy haired, Oxbridge meal ticket, silver spoon Toffs if you were the only party in the running. You're nasty, and you breed nastiness. You trick good, hardworking people into thinking your policies will help them, which they absolutely won't, and then wonder why you're so passionately hated by the working class. Just go away and count your money or something.

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I slept in. Useless cunt. I'm just getting worse.

After 10 hours of class I dont feel like studying but I want that A, you feel me?

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It looks like a storm is coming.

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Wow. It has been a while, eh? My PTSD is an absolute nightmare, I broke up with my boyfriend (well, ex-boyfriend now) and he completely derailed any chance of civil interaction and I'm jobless. I can't keep sacrificing my mental health, though. I really can't. I don't want to be in a bottomless pit forever, so it's a fresh start. Hopefully.

I'm so angry all the time cos this world is just backwards. Everyone is so selfish and self righteous and self indulgent. We're all human and it's obscene that we violently divide ourselves over the most trivial of things. I need to get it all off my chest, all of it, everything I'm angry about because I keep carrying it around and it's making me sick.

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I'm frustrated that, despite the fact that I told them I was coming here to be away from all of the distractions at home, they still planned a big brunch. Even though they told me that they weren't going to host anything here. I understand it's their house and they can do what they want, but at least let me know before so I can leave and find a place that's quiet where I can focus.

And no, mentioning it before and saying "oh yeah, sorry" doesn't count.

Highkey miss the One Direction days that was a good couple of years

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I'm sad the weekend is over and it's back to reality. There were a couple of ups and downs but all in all, seeing all my family members and the fact that my cousin, who has been through SO MUCH, has found her true happiness in someone so special makes me sob AGAIN (dunno how there's any tears left after that ceremony). I can't wait till the next wedding reunion: December for my brother's wedding

Don't try and start those games, you know the ones, where you say shit behind our backs and act alright to our faces - you know damn well I know when you start - you make it obvious, you know you're rolling that dice; and I'm not fucking playing.

Say what you want about me, assume what you want about me, I will not say anything bad about you, because that's stooping to the level you want me to go. I will not degrade myself to your standard, because that gives you more to say. I will continue to treat you how I always have.

You say you love us, that we're a close family, I'd like to know where all this love is and why the love and effort we put in is so one sided? And don't blame his death - you were always like this, don't you dare use your grief as your excuse. Don't you dare disrespect him like that.

I just f*cking can't anymore.
This sh*t is getting so damn old. You show me time, and time again, that you don't even have an ounce of your life/sh*t together.

It is actually terrifying/worrisome that you are in your late 20's, and can't function/carry out a proper responsible life.
I am so sick of the "I'm depressed" or "I just have really bad anxiety". It's nothing but your escape goat, and you clearly can't accept responsibility for your life or yourself.

My mom is right, I really "know how to pick them".

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@ Messenger Hedwig
Replied to you in the comments on your profile!
Thanks for reaching out.

My belly hurts and I hate my period. Damn cramps.... I thought it was my stomach hurting from eating too much last night but nope, it was my period starting.

Sick of this head cold. Have to use an inhaler now since my lungs are all fucked up. but hopefully using it will help me feel better. Boyfriend left for a few hours so now I can relax, and get some writing done without having to go somewhere. Happy Tuesday!

told my boyfriend I loved him and he started talking about how love suddenly means marriage and all this shit. sure makes me feel like shit.

It went from 88 to 34 in Ohio over night and my sinuses are raging because of it.