Confess on My Wayward Son

You know, I'm so much less upset with those who voted Leave than I am with those who shouted Remain but didn't go and tick that box. At least Leave voters were honest and exercised their democratic right to vote on what they wanted. You can't piss and moan that it went the wrong way if you didn't bother. If all the people who'd bleated about their future and the economy had showed up on referendum day, this may not be happening. If you don't vote, you have no right to complain. People died for your right to have your say, so have your goddamn fucking say. I don't care if you don't feel represented, most of us aren't but we'll never be if we don't work out what we want and find the person or party or policy that's closest. How can you ever matter if you don't use your voice? Jesus Christ I know politics is boring but it touches every single element of modern life; it's your duty as a member of society to give a shit. It's never going to get better if you don't try to make it better! They can't listen if you're not saying anything. Drawing a fat dick on your ballot is still having a voice, at least you showed up and told them they're all dicks. Just. Do. Something.

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Good Christ, I'm top with this.

alrighty I'm over this week

this weekend needs to come faster

I'm tired and I'm lonely and I can't help wondering what would have happened if things worked out differently.

My chin is STILL trying to bubble off of my face.

I wish I’m putting more pressure on myself to think about my long term plans I’m having these 50/50 thoughts and it’s beyond frustrating.

I know I have valid feelings but I still feel bad when I confront someone about something. Like I want them to know I'm annoyed about this but at the same time, I'm still here and I wanna work it out. I don't want someone to lose interest. I hope this isn't the case.

I mean, do you really love me if you continue to sit there and threaten to leave me everytime I have a breakdown? I'm trying my hardest to keep it together but fuck man, I'm not sure how much longer I can put up with this. If you love someone, you don't threaten to leave them when things get tough. I'm trying but sometimes I break down every once in a while. if you can't handle that, then i'm not sure what to say.

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I really wish I could a) sleep and b)

with him going out again today, things seem to be better. its nice to have some quiet time and do our own things. sometimes being alone really helps the relationship. + it's saturday bumday!

i keep having nightmares that i'm killing one of my patients and it makes me feel like i'm not good enough for the nursing program.

i've been having these moments recently where i go out in public and see friends talking and laughing or couples holding hands and loving on one another and idk, i just realize that i don't have any of that. i have a few amazing online friends that i would literally die for, but when it comes to irl stuff, i have no one. yeah, i see people i used to go to school with at work and we say hi, but that's literally it. we don't talk, we don't hang out. it's incredibly lonely.

i want to hang out with people. i want to invite people over and play shitty card games and binge-watch netflix. i used to have that and i don't know what changed within me to be so... terrified of actually having it. i want it but when it comes down to it, i distance myself and refuse to actually open myself up.

yesterday kind of solidified my anxiety when i walked up to someone wearing a Supernatural shirt and said i really liked it and was stupidly obsessed with the show. they didn't seem interested so i started walking away and their friend was like, 'dude she was so ugly'. like??? thanks lmao.

i also blame it on the fact that i definitely look like a girl with a large chest and wide hips and i fucking hate it because how can i open up to someone in this small ass town and say 'yeah man, i'm trans'??? living away from this place helped me open up a lot more because no one knew me and were more accepting of who i am. maybe that's why it's all so different.

tldr i want friends and a s/o but can't trust anyone lmao set me on fire please

@ alexander bernadotte
As long as you care for your patients and do your genuine best with their care there is nothing that makes you not good enough for the program. Nurses make mistakes all the time but as long as they arent from places of intent or ill will then you're good enough. No nurse who is good enough wants to hurt a patient and that's what counts. Nightmares are horrible but I promise you that you can do this if it's in your heart.

@ the god of mischief.
thank you so much. that’s sweet of you to say. ♥️ i know that everyone in my program probably feels the same right now, but we’re all hoping that the feelings will dissipate once we get some more experience.

I discovered Jessie Reyez and Oh my God

I've found a student friendly payday loans company and I need to be very, very careful. £250 is one thing but I know how these things can snowball, I know people thousands in the can from these things. Thankfully this is sensible, responsible and upfront, with sensible limits built around student loans. But I know I'm just borrowing from the future and this is pretty much Spyro out the window. But between vets bills, our poor self control from years of mental illness, and one income thanks to my crazy, we needed that bunce. This will not be used anymore this term, no it's no buts no coconuts. I can't get in debt - I'm the only of us left that isn't.

If you’re not enthralled by the absolute anarchy that is a black man joining the Klan to bring down a local chapter then we just can’t be friends.

my lack of sex has me highly fucking annoyed.

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I'm so tired of being mad at the world. But I'm so worried that if I ignore it, I'll lose my compassion like so many seem to have already. We need to give a shit that there's war and famine and greed and poverty in our world because no one is responsible but us. We are so much better than all this fighting and hatred, this drive for money and comfort. One day we'll realise it.