Confess on My Wayward Son

Having a car is stressful.

I feel kind of bad now but yet she needs to wake up and realize that not everyone wanted all of these dogs around here. Im not going to be responsible for eight dogs, two dogs that are already mine yes but not eight dogs that you keep claiming your son and husband wanted even though you and your husband have both said ya'all were only gonna have two or three and that's it.

I'm tired. So tired. Of all of this.

I slowly diffused a mental breakdown last night. It was hell, but I managed to not cause myself harm in the end.
It's very hard for me (ie: libra) to just accept that I cannot make things right for everyone.
It's especially hard when I feel responsible for those things; like I'm out of balance until I somehow solve everything.
On the other hand, my life itself is going pretty fucking good.
I just got a second job, and doing the calculations, I'm gonna be making $282 a week, so, more than $1k a month.
Plus, I'm keeping my old job which I LOVE and getting a new one as an admin. assistant at our ESL program. So much excitement.
Good luck to my hard classes this semester tho. That's going to be...interesting.... my 3.91 gpa may be shriveling up soon.

I'm just so exhausted all the time

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The God of Thunder.:

Good luck to my hard classes this semester tho. That's going to be...interesting.... my 3.91 gpa may be shriveling up soon.

This. But we got this, we're gunnah kick some ass and take some names.

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I'm...excited to bathe a patient? Personal hygiene is huge in my life so I'm really exited to provide the same quality and attention to detail to a patient, at least during my student days.

@ The God of Mischief.
BATHE ME !?

For a couple of months now I found out that the doctor found a lump in my grandma's breast and he suspected that it was cancer. But since it was just a suspect, I was keeping an optimistic mind because I wouldn't know how to react and I didn't tell anyone. Just now, the doctor confirmed that it is indeed cancer. And I still don't know how to feel.

I won't lie, I'm always just a little sad when my phone goes off and it's not you.
You made me so happy. Happier than I'd ever known - I should have thanked you. I'm sorry.

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At times I wonder if you never want to see me again. I suppose ... I wouldn't really be surprised. It's not like I'm much to look at to begin with. I don't really have anything to offer. Just a heart of kindness, I guess.

cannot fucking wait to move in with him.

It feels hot in this house now and the snow has melted, making the outside feel a lot better than it has been. Hmm... More walks are in my future I see.

I hate how I am triggered by the silliest things. Please, brain, leave me alone!

I love being a writer (and damn I am a good writer), but I wish I could turn off that part of my brain that ceaselessly edits others' books when I'm trying to read them. I get bothered by missed opportunities that usually seem to suggest a lack of practice or unique voice development. I want to rewrite scenes so that they have a stronger tone. I want to shop words around to make the style more beautiful or more grisly or more passive, or whatever it needs. I want to add depth layers to the characters and their interactions. brain: silence you elitist fool.

@ The God of Thunder.
Anything for you, darling.

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I'd rather cut off my toes than go to work today. I want to work on math and get a huge jump start on the two essays that I have due at the end of this semester.

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I legit forgot that I can fucking manipulate layouts...

I do think that I could easily fall in love with her, but not in a comitted way. Does that even make sense?

I'm listening to "Love Stoned" by Justin Timberlake and...I'm just blown away that such a beautiful song can be dedicated to someone y'know? I'm talking about towards the very end where the song slows down. It's goddamn beautiful and I'm listening to it full volume.

So fucking beautiful.

It's been nearly two years since I've been on here, but I'm back...
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Why do I fall for people who don't fall for me?