We Ain't Ever Getting Older

Dean sipped at his cup of coffee, letting out a sigh when he heard the bathroom door opening. He didn't bother to look up because he knew who was inside, he knew that she would only look at him with pain in her eyes and Dean, he didn't know how to handle that. he had never known how to deal with people looking at him like that, not when he was the source of their pain.

He drew in a ragged breath as he moved to his feet, still gripping the coffee in his hand. "I'm going to go for a walk. I'll be back in a few minutes," he muttered as he shuffled toward where his shoes sat just inside the doorway to the room.

When Raelynn reemerged from the bathroom and noticed that Dean was gone, she rolled her eyes. She walked over and sat down across from Sam. She reached out and gratefully took one of the cups and held it to her lips as she drank it. “He needs to stop being such a fucking baby and wake up.” She mumbled.

Sam sighed, shaking his head as he typed away on his laptop. He closed it and gave Rae a hard look. “You’re like my best friend, besides Dean, right?” He asked cautiously. He waited for her to nod her head before he continued. “Then let me be honest with you. Maybe you are the one who needs to wake up, Rae. Maybe Dean doesn’t want to be with someone so miserable. Shit, Rae. You’re making yourself miserable.”

Maybe Dean doesn’t want to be with someone so miserable. Raelynn replayed those words over and over before mumbling a quiet, “Yeah, okay. I got it. I’ll back off.”

It was the better part of the day before Dean finally returned, a six pack in his hand. He'd spent most of the day just walking around, trying to get his mind off of things. When he realized that it wasn't working, it was already too late and he was lost.

He eventually made his way back to the right motel but not before stopping into the liquor store that was only a few buildings over. Dean grumbled under his breath as he kicked the door shut, wasting no time in sliding his shoes off. He didn't bother to look up to either Sam or Raelynn as he plopped into a chair in the corner.

"What?" Dean finally asked as he looked up, his eyes narrowing when he noticed the look that his brother was giving him.

Raelynn sat snuggled in the bed, with the collar of shirt she had stolen from Sam and threw on pulled up over her mouth. Her eyes were fixated on the television in front of her. The movie 10 Things I Hate About You playing, which was ever so appropriate. Nonetheless, it was one of her favorite movies so she was glad to have the distraction drowning out the boys.

Sam clenched his jaw, his eyes narrowed at his brother. He rolled his eyes at Dean and went back to looking at his laptop. Sam had given up hope on the pair of the months ago, mostly because he thought they were both acting like children. However, the youngest Winchester did hate seeing the both of them make themselves equally miserable. When neither one of them broke the silence of Sam typing away on his laptop, he mumbled under his breath. “Children,”

Raelynn heard Sam’s comment and rolled her eyes, deciding that it wasn’t worth the fussing.

Dean had decided to crack open his first beer of the evening and had taken a large swig of it, only to begin nursing it steadily. Right up until Sam spoke. His eyes shot to his brother and he let out a low growl as he leaned forward in his seat. He couldn't understand why Sam needed to go and open his mouth when they were doing perfectly fine without his input.

Clearing his throat, Dean set a hand on the arm of the chair so that he could readjust how he was sitting. "What was that, Sammy?"

Sam shook his head and Dean moved to his feet to take a slow step forward. "Is there something you want to fucking say? Or am I just hearing things? Must be that, huh?"

“Dean, knock it off.” Sam sighed as he focused his eyes back onto his laptop. “I am so sick and tired of seeing you two like this. Can one of you just have the balls to say you want to be with the other or can you please tell Rae it’s not happening so we can go on about our damn business?”

Raelynn tried to drown out the bickering of the two brothers. She couldn’t stand it when they decided to do this. Part of her felt so guilty because she knew she was the primary cause of all of it. With a huff, she regretfully pulled herself from the comfort of the bed. She walked over to where Dean had his six pack and snagged one out of the plastic casing. She made her way to stand in between of the two of them.

“Can you both just shut the hell up?” She asked. She looked between the pair of them as she popped the tab on the beer. She took a long sip of it. “For starters, you are ruining me watching Heath fucking Ledger right now, okay and I am not chill with that.” She gave them a stern look. “Secondly, I am fully aware that Dean will decide to stop dicking around one day and give me a straight answer. But until then, I’m done!” She took another sip, making her way back over to the bed. “Now both of you shut the hell up. She’s about to find out it was all a ploy for him to make money off dating her and I love this part.”

Dean's eyebrow rose as he barely glanced over in Raelynn's direction as she grabbed one of his beers. He didn't care, not really, but at the moment, he was petty and annoyed at pretty much everything. Including the way that Rae grabbed a beer without so much as asking his permission. With a grunt, he turned away from her so that he didn't have to watch as she popped it. The noise of the seal breaking was enough to send his blood boiling and he had to clench his teeth so that he wouldn't open his mouth and say something that he would end up regretting.

"It's a damn movie, Raelynn," Dean cut in, his eyes narrowing as she spoke. He sighed as he shook his head, reaching his free hand to run it over his jaw before it moved through his hair. After a moment, Dean grumbled as he stood.

"I'm going to go down to the office and get another room because clearly, it's better if I'm not here right now," Dean all but growled as he knelt down to lift his now four and a half pack into the air. He said nothing as he twisted, stalking toward the door as he checked his pockets for his car keys.

Raelynn’s heart clenched at the way Dean spoke her name. She missed when he said it softly, especially late at night while they were in bed… God, Rae. That was intense… She shook the thought out of her head as she stood up, throwing a small glance in Sam’s direction. “Dean stop,” she mumbled as she shuffled across the room. “You stay here, all your stuff is here and mine is packed in my bag…”

Raelynn went over and grabbed her duffel bag, picking it up and slinging it over her shoulder. She shoved her hands in the pockets of her sweats, feeling for the crumpled up cash she had pulled out of the bank account that held her trust fund. “I have some cash so it will be easier for me to go ahead and get a room.”

Rae licked at her bottom lip, her eyes meeting Dean’s for the briefest of moments. “Sorry,” she mumbled in a soft voice—barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry—ya know, for being a brat and shit.” She didn’t wait for a response from him as she made her way out of the room.

Dean let out a low growl when Raelynn started for the door. He took a few quick steps forward, reaching out to catch her arm before she could make it too far out of the room. He pulled her backward, wasting no time to shove her back toward the room. "Shut up. Just fuckin' stop for one fuckin' minute," he hissed, stepping so he blocked her path. She could have easily stepped to one side or another but she would be going nowhere fast because he would always be able to block her path.

"You. Are. Staying. With Sam," Dean instructed, shoving a finger into her chest as he nodded toward where Sam could barely be seen inside the room. "You aren't going off on your own because of some stupid ass decision you feel you need to make." If he hadn't been so closely involved in the situation, Dean would have laughed because deep down, he knew he was talking about himself just as much as he was talking about her.

"Go lay down and watch your precious fuckin' Heath Ledger. Now," Dean's voice took on an authoritative tone as his eyes narrowed. He leaned down, glaring at her. "Don't make me say it again."

Raelynn reached behind her, pulling the door to the motel room closed so they were standing in the hallway. Sam didn’t need to be listening in on their argument for the millionth time. She leaned against the door and dropped her bag at her feet. “Why don’t you stop Dean? Why don’t you knock it the hell of?”

Raelynn crossed her arms as she looked defiantly at the man standing in front of her. “I’m not your girlfriend anymore and I’m not Sam—you can’t continue to boss me around and make all my decisions for me.” She looked away from him and but her lip before she allowed herself to look at him again. “I’m trying—I’m trying to end all this fighting, Dean. Let me be an adult for once and remove my situation, because none of this shit is working anymore.”

She pushed herself off the door, looking down at her feet. She shoved her hands in her pockets before she looked back up at him, “Maybe... Maybe I should just go back home or go stay with Bobby… Let you and Sam do ya’lls thing for a while. I’m just sick of fighting with you all the time. It’s fucking draining, Dean. It really is.”

"No," Dean demanded with a low growl. He shook his head, his eyes narrowing a bit. He forced himself to take a deep breath, his fingers tightening around the six pack in his hands. "Maybe we aren't dating any more but fuck if I'm not the oldest. If I'm not in charge. Which I am so you're going to have to go ahead and step in line. You're going to turn your pretty little ass around and go into the room," he paused, jutting his finger toward the door they stood in front of. "And stay with Sammy because you aren't going into a room on your own. I'm a lot more capable of defending myself on my own if shit goes down," he snapped, reaching around her to set a hand on the doorknob.

Dean twisted it open and wasted no time in giving Raelynn a shove back into the room. His eyes moved over to his brother's. "I'm going to get another room. Keep Rae in your sight, keep her safe. I'll see you both in the morning," he grumbled before stepping back through the threshold to the room.

Turning his attention back to Raelynn, a frown formed on his lips as he shook his head. "We'll talk in the morning when we're both a little more clear headed," he muttered before stalking away from the room. He wanted nothing more than to climb into his car and drive away, maybe find someone to warm his bed, but he fought his instinct and simply made his way down to the office to rent another room.

“I am so fucking beyond done with his attitude,” Raelynn admitted as she dropped her bag back down on the floor. “Not allowed to go back home, not allowed to go stay with Bobby, not allowed fucking breath on my own…”

Rae knew she was being dramatic, something she had the tendency of doing. She couldn’t help it… She had always been an over emotional person. She wished so badly she could have the ability to not care like Dean did. She wanted to be able to roll her eyes and laugh it off. She wanted to be able to joke around and just forget about all the shit that had happened between them. She kicked her shoes off and stomped childishly back to the bed, earning herself a look from Sam.

“Rae,” Sam began to sympathize with the younger girl. “You just have to let it go, you know how he is. He is an asshole. He’ll realize what he is doing sooner than later, Rae.”

“I don’t want to hear it, you keep saying it and I am done hearing it, Sam.” she mumbled as she crawled into the bed and delved into the covers. “I’m going to try and go the hell to sleep. And when I wake up in the morning I am done with this bullshit. You wanna see Raelynn act tough? Well get ready. So much for having a relaxing day.”

The moment that Dean stepped into the brand new hotel room, he let out a ragged sigh. He tossed the six pack onto the bed, knowing that he had no intention whatsoever of leaving the bed once he finally did lay down. He stalked toward the bathroom and rinsed his face, used the toilet, before returning back to the main area of the room.

Dean tossed himself onto the bed, more than grateful to be alone. He knew the way that he was treating Raelynn was wrong, there was no real debating that fact but fuck, he didn't know what else he was supposed to do. At some point, he had realized that he was in love with Raelynn. There was no two ways around that fact, around the fact that everything that stupid blond did drove him crazy. Most of the time, it was in a good way but then, there were the times that she matched his temper and that was when he'd get frustrated.

Sam had lost Jessica, John had lost Mary. Dean didn't want someone close to him that he would ultimately lose. He let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair as he began to sip on his beer. There was no escaping his feelings and that was more than enough to scare him. Keeping Rae at a distance was the only way he could keep her safe, Dean was more than sure of it.

The next morning Raelynn woke up early. Even earlier than Sam, and that was saying something. The blonde was normal the last to rise from the sheets, but not that morning. She made her way to the bathroom and took a nice, long, hot shower to relax herself. Raelynn had been serious the night before when she spoke to Sam. There were things that needed to change and she was taking matters into her own hands.

After she had showered and changed, she made her way down to the lobby to pick her and Sam up a couple of coffees. When she came back to the room, Sam was wide eyed. He put a hand to his chest, “Rae, don’t do that. You trying to have Dean on my ass?”

Raelynn laughed as she set the coffee cups down, “Do what? Go get some coffee?”

Same smiled at her as he reached out and grabbed the coffee gratefully, “Yeah but not without telling me. I almost called Dean and told him I couldn’t find you and that you left your cell here.”

Raeylnn rolled her eyes as she sat down in one of the chairs, “I was gone fifteen minutes, Sam.”

Dean groaned as the sunlight began to peak through the blinds on the motel room window. He rolled away from it, pulling the blanket over his face to try and block the light so that he could go back to sleep. When he realized it was impossible, Dean grumbled and shoved the comforter away from him.

He sighed as he pushed himself to his feet and made his way to the bathroom to once again, rinse his face and use the toilet.The night before, he hadn't even bothered to take off his shoes or his jacket so leaving the motel room didn't take very long at all.

He made his way down to the room he knew the other two were still in. Dean let out a sigh as he reached the door. He hesitated for a moment, raising his hand and knocking solidly. It wasn't more than a moment or two before Sam was pulling the door open and welcoming him inside.

Dean tilted his head to the side, groaning slightly as his head throbbed just a bit. "Rae, come on. We need to talk."

Raelynn looked at Dean with wide eyes. Fuck, she mumbled to herself. Just as she had decided that she was over it, here he was to walk back in and ruin everything she had started that moment. She looked at Sam for some type of sign, but all he did was look at her with his eyebrows raised and motioned his head for her to go with him. She clutched on to her coffee as she got up and walked towards the door.

“I’m gonna try and find us a case…” Sam mumbled as he walked towards the table.

“Okay,” Raelynn replied, her voice dry with nervousness. She shut the door behind her as she followed Dean. She noticed that he wasn’t looking at her, his eyes wouldn’t even glance at hers for a fleeting moment. She bit down on her bottom lip as she internally struggled with herself about being the first one to break the silence. “Dean,” she said quietly. “I’m really, really sorry. I am. I realized how I have been and—“ She stopped herself before she got too far.

Dean began to walk up the length of the motel rooms, his hands shoved into his pockets as he glared at the horizon that was getting far too close, far too quickly. He wanted to just keep walking and leave both Raelynn and Sam behind. It would likely be a whole helluva lot easier than what he knew would end up happening. He let out a ragged sigh as Rae began speaking. He shrugged his shoulders, grinding his teeth together, refusing to look in her direction.

"Stuff needs to change, Rae. I don't mean the hunts or the fact that we're working together. I mean that you need to understand what this is all for," Dean began, letting out another sigh. He didn't know how to go about this because he knew what he had to admit but he also knew what admitting it would mean. It would hurt Rae and that hurt him - he knew it would hurt him but he didn't care, not in the least bit.

"The end of the fuckin' world is coming. We can't deny that. Try as we might, we have to continue on and we have to do what we can. That means no relationships, no strings because if they start, they become weaknesses. The more weaknesses you have, the bigger the target on your back is. So," Dean started, taking a deep breath as he turned to face her finally. "Get it through your thick head that not everything can work out the way you want it to. No matter how damned badly you want it to. It just doesn't work that way."

Raelynn looked up at Dean, her mouth opening to speak before she decided she didn’t have any words to say. What did she expect to happen? Her eyes left his, silently begging herself to get her shit together. Dean was right, it was for the best, wasn’t it? She clenched her hands and shoved them in the pockets of her jacket, nodding her head. “I got it.” She swallowed. “I uh, I don’t know.”

The lump that was forming in the back of her throat was keeping her from saying anything else. Still refusing to look at Dean, she turned around. “I need to—“ she clamped her jaw together, knowing if she said what she wanted to do Dean would just yell at her. She wanted to go stay with Bobby for a while, take time to herself to cool off… But she knew no way in hell Dean would allow that. “Can we just go back to the room. See if Sam has any work for us.”

Raelynn turned around, and look at Dean. She forced a smile onto her face to distract from the tears that had welled in her eyes. She’d rather die then let those fall in front of him. “Thanks for, uhm. Thanks for finally clearing stuff up. Let’s move on from it or something. I’m still not opposed to letting you and Sam just go on. Just so you know. I know how to protect myself, Dean. Like you said, the end of the world is coming.”

if this is riddled with spelling errors u no y soz

Dean was pleasantly surprised when Raelynn agreed to just head back to the room without any argument. Had it really been that easy? He was left to wonder as they began to head back to the motel room. He was left with an uneasy feeling, his stomach twisting into a knot as they stepped up to the door. "You're not going anywhere," Dean replied with a huff as he shook his head. He let out a sigh as he reached a hand up to run through his hair. "So quit mentioning it because it's not going to happen. Not now, not soon, not ever."

His shoulders squared at her response and he let out a groan, tossing his head back so he could glare at the sky for a moment. "The end of the world won't come if we can stop it. So you leaving isn't really that much of an option right now, Raelynn."

He cleared his throat as he motioned toward the door. "Enough with the chit chat. There's no reason to let out emotions get the best of us, is it?"

Raelynn gave Dean a dry laugh, maneuvering around him to get into the room. When she stepped through the door, Sam was sitting at the table still typing away at his lap top. Raelynn wanted nothing more than to pull Sam out of that room and explain to him that she was leaving. She needed to get him to understand that it was the only way she could cope. But, instead, she made her way over to where her bag was and began shoving her belongings inside of it; she knew they probably would be hitting the road soon anyways.

Raelynn could feel Dean’s eyes on her, watching her every move. She clamped down on the inside of her cheek, willing herself to keep all of her sarcastic comments and rude comebacks to herself. She tossed her bag onto the bed and went to sit in the chair across from Sam. She crossed her arms as he peered over the laptop at her, “You okay?”

“Peachy,” she said as she forced a grin onto her face. “Why wouldn’t I be?”