and i’ve lost who i am.

Matt panted softly, moving from between her legs and collapsing on the bed beside her. He glanced over at her, letting out a soft chuckle. “Sorry for the mess,” he mumbled.

Carrie could help the laugh that escaped her mouth when Matt apologized for the mess he made. She moved her hands down to where he had come, getting most of it on her fingertips and licked her fingers clean. “What mess,” she smirked. She honestly hadn’t expected Matt’s come to taste sweet but it did and it kind of made her want more.

Matt bit his lip as he watched her. God, she was beautiful. And he’d finally slept with her. But it still didn’t fill the void in his chest. He wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms, hold her tightly, run his fingers through her hair, kiss her forehead, and tell her how much he cared about her. But he knew that was wrong, especially considering Zack could still be out there somewhere. He sat up after a minute, reaching in the floor for his boxers and pulling them on.

Carrie watched Matt get out of bed, unable to keep herself from frowning as she did. She honestly hadn’t expected him to get out of the bed but it seemed like he was. The redhead got out of bed, not saying anything to Matt as she walked to the bathroom to clean up properly in the shower.

Matt sighed softly as he watched her walk into the bathroom. He got dressed, deciding to go downstairs and get himself something to drink. He considered the beer in the fridge for a moment before deciding on a glass of water. As much as he wanted to get drunk and pretend the world was okay, he knew he needed to be sober to take care of Carrie.

Carrie climbed into Matt’s shower, feeling beyond disgusting and guilty. She felt like she had cheated on Zack and it was the worst feeling on the planet. The redhead turned the water hotter and began scrubbing her skin practically raw as she tried to clean herself.

Matt sat at the island in the kitchen, drinking his water as he thought about things. Once he finished drinking, he stood up and went back upstairs, standing outside the bathroom door. “Carrie, do you want me to take you home?” he asked.

“Yes,” Carrie called out. She turned off the shower, wrapping herself I’m a towel and opened the bathroom door. “I think coming here tonight was a bad idea,” she mumbled.

Matt looked down at her, frowning. It hurt to hear her say that, more than it probably should. “I’m sorry,” he muttered after a moment, moving away from her. “I’ll be downstairs. You can borrow some clothes if you want.” He went downstairs, grabbed his phone and keys and sat on the couch, waiting for her.

Carrie hated herself for telling Matt being with him was a mistake. She didn’t actually mean it but she was upset and was lashing out. All he had done was do what she asked of him. She put her dirty clothes back on and quietly walked downstairs, ashamed of herself even more for upsetting Matt.

Matt stood up, leading Carrie outside to his car. He still opened the door for her like the gentleman he was, waiting for her to get in before he shut the door and walked around to the driver side. He climbed in and started the car, starting the drive to her place. He stared at the road ahead of them in complete silence, not sure what he could say to her to make her feel better. He glanced over at her for a second, frowning when he saw how dejected she looked. He looked back towards the road, gasping when he saw a dark figure standing in the middle of the road. He quickly swerved to the side and pressed on the brake, but it wasn’t quick enough and he hit a tree straight-on. His head flew forward, slamming against the steering wheel before whipping back against the headrest of the seat. He groaned out in pain, his head beginning to spin as nausea set in faster than he could get his seatbelt off. He quickly shoved the door open and fell out of the car onto his knees, trying to look around and see where the person they almost hit was, but everything was spinning and he couldn’t make sense of anything.

Carrie cried out in pain as her head collided with the air bag after it deployed. She had seen the figure in the road before Matt had swerved but hadn’t been able to make out who or what it was either. She felt tears falling down her face as she reached for her seatbelt, trying to undo it and beginning to panic when she realized it was stuck. “Matt,” she sobbed out. “I’m stuck.”

Matt squeezed his eyes shut and tried to stop his head from spinning, but it was no use. He crawled away from the car and threw up on the side of the road, hating how pathetic he probably looked in that moment. He frowned when he heard Carrie calling out for him, trying to stand up, but he was very unsteady. He reached out for the side of the car as he got to his feet, falling against it. “H-hold on!” he called out. “I’m coming!”

Carrie continued struggling to try and get her seatbelt undone, her eyes widening when she saw Zack standing in front of the car. She began struggling more, crying out in pain when she finally got the seatbelt open but cut her hand on the now damaged piece of metal. “Zack,” she called out. She looked out the window again, frowning when she saw he was gone.

Matt stumbled around the side of the car, finally making it to Carrie. He reached for the handle, grabbing it and pulling it hard, but the door was stuck shut. “Carrie,” he said, managing to look at her through clouded vision. “You need to get out the other side, the door is stuck.”

Carrie nodded when Matt told to get out on his side, whimpering in pain as she did. Her hand was throbbing and bleeding really bad from being cut open by the seatbelt. She fell out of the car when she got to Matt’s side, looking around to try and find Zack again.

Matt stumbled around to the other side of the car again, collapsing on the ground beside her. “Fuck,” he cursed, reaching in his pocket for his phone. “You gotta call 911. I can’t see straight.” He reached his phone out to her, wondering how they even got in this situation. Who the hell was standing in the middle of the road? And where the hell did they go?

Carrie took Matt’s phone, calling 911 as she kept looking around hoping to see Zack again. She didn’t even remember answering any phone calls from the dispatcher or getting into the ambulance to be cleaned up. She saw Zack which meant he was alive and it made her feel angry and guilty.

Matt was taken to the hospital to have a CT scan of his head to make sure there was no damage due to how hard he hit his head. He definitely had a concussion and whiplash, but also his vision was going to be blurry for a little while just from the force of his head hitting the headrest. His parents had come to the hospital to check on him and make sure he was okay, but now that he was taken care of, all Matt could think about was Carrie. He kept asking for her, but nobody would tell him where she was.

Carrie was sitting with Brian in the waiting room, having just been discharged for her injuries from the car accident. She was being super quiet because she was deep in thought. She honestly wanted to tell Brian she had seen Zack but she knew he would think she was crazy. “Have you heard anything about Matt,” she asked.