Rules For Your Unborn Child

Filistata:

"You can come to Mommy and Daddy for absolutely anything...unless our bedroom door is closed. Then you're on your own, kid."

:) that is for sure. ;)

^ Lawlz, most def.

Don't listen to uncle jake, ever. (Jake being my mad mad brother from another mother, listening to jake will get you sent to the copshop)
and
Dont bring your boyfriends home or your daddy will eat them. And then Grandad shall put the left overs in a tupperware for lunch tomorrow.
and
Chocolate gives you pimples (cause it does)
and
I dont care if all your other friends are doing it, you are under no circumstances celebrating easter. *weird but necessary*
and
SAFE SEX IS SMART SEX *slips multiple condoms under door whilst child is watching movies with boyfriend*
and
You will NEVER diss mummy's music. You will ENJOY mummy's music.
and
Emotion is a choice, meaning you CHOOSE to be happy or upset. Thats on you kid.
and
Music is pretty much key. If you have music in your life, you will make music with your life, metaphorically of course, but i will make it so you can make music litterally, and i will give you the abilities and the tools, make what you will with it. but mummy would like it best if you chose music. no pressure^-^

www.thesex.com:

SAFE SEX IS SMART SEX *slips multiple condoms under door whilst child is watching movies with boyfriend*

:lmfao
Or girlfriend. :tehe: Could be a boy you know.

It is not fine to make fun of your grandparents or uncle.

Be yourself. Whoever that may be. It doesn't matter if others dislike it or it's not exactly what we like. It's you.

Drugs are a no-no. They'll get you messed and you'll have to go to rehab. And do you really want to break your mother's heart like that?

No adult cartoons. :file: Or MTV shows if that network is still on.

If you're hurting, tell me.

If you get run over by a car, you'll think, "I should've looked both ways before I crossed the street." And I'll be all, :x

If you ever decide to kill someone please don't get blood on your clothes.
Mommy is too much of a lazy ass to wash out the blood.
Therefore, if you get blood on your clothes you're going to jail.
Because mommy is lazy and daddy is Travis.
And we all know what Travis is like. :file:

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Be yourself.
Do what you want, but always remember to think things through.

1. Remember, it doesn't matter what other people think. It only matters that you behave sane enough to not get taken away to the funny farm.
2. Don't get mad, get even.
3. Wear what you want to wear, even if it's sunny outside and you want to wear your snow pants.

1. Have fun, even if it makes you look a fool.
2. Don't let anyone hurt you.
3. Make me proud.

1. Treat people the way you expect to be treated.
2. Keep your hands to yourself, if you fail to do so, say they provoked you.
3. Do as I say, not as I do.

Oh spaghetti, I'm going to be a wonderful parent.

1. Don't complain, grow a pair and get even.
2. If you think you're going to do something that will require medical attention, please wait until after dinner. Hospital food isn't nice.
3. Don't break clean dishes.
4. You can come to me with anything.
5. You will be quiet when my shows are on... I'll do the same for you one day.
6. It's okay to make mistakes, but try not to do it often.
7. ALWAYS have a good story to tell.
8. Keep fighting the good fight.
9. Remember that I'll love you no matter what.

Also, I'm not made of money, so PLEASE keep out of jail as much as possible.. Otherwise you're paying me back for every time I have to bail you out, okay?

Mommy and Daddy will always love you, no matter how many times you fuck up.

Don't be a brat.

*Be optimistic!
*No drugs or alcohol, if you want wine, you will drink it with me, its better that way than at parties.
*Be Happy and fortunate for the world you live in
*When you graduate, you are going to college, this isn't your choice, hopefully you will thank we further in live, I will pay full scholarship.
*A job = a car

You'll love Harry Potter or you'll be disowned.
No licking llama's.
Only talk back if I'm being an unfair bitch.
No breaking the law and getting caught.

Will be respectful to everyone, especially your elders, regardless.

- No dressing slutty, I won't have it.
- You have to love the music I love
- Do better in school then I did.
- I'll love you even though you were a complete accident, always take condoms with you when you are going out with people.

Always do your best.
Learn to appreciate and how to show appreciation.
Be respectful.
Aim high.

oh... another one...

your most likely gonna have the same tollerance for scary movies as your mother, so under no circumstances will you watch the exorcist.. is for your own good.

imagine....

and a quote to get my adorable kiddie wink through life "I stuck to my guns without promoting the pistol"

dont beat shit up less its bitchy k?

"Never trust your older siblings. They're always bastards. You didn't hear me say that Diego, you didn't hear me say anything."