It's a good poem, I think it's a good poem just a little repetitive. Love is a good topic but your poems are often very straight forward with your declaration of love. It's often very good to be straightforward but try to mix it up and have a little mystery. Make metaphors, make the whole poem a metaphor. Using symbols is good. It makes the reader think and instead of giving them the picture to look at, makes them paint it themselves. It's a nice relief to a reader to be given the power to do something. Try it next time =]]
Hahaha no. That was a great metaphore. I liked it a lot. The factory. Hm. It'll make a cool analogy to use in future Quote-ness. See, I would give you the correct name for the Quote-ness but it'd give away my name and I like being Secret. *nod nod* it's so lame, even the lame people think it's lame. That's alright though. SPEAKING OF STORIES! (which we weren't actually. i was talking to myself about your stories and realized I wasn't actually telling you what I felt) I like the "An Emotional War" one. It's...interesting haha. It may just be because you're a guy. But, meh! oh welllls. Keep up the good work!
Yeah haha. You really can't be a writer if you don't have some form of tragedy in your life. I'm just lucky I've had enough so if I ever get over something I have more to fuel the fire :)
Sadly. It was a good time while it lasted but when the time comes for that person to just break the news to you and you've got no hope or possible chance at them, it hurts a lot. It hurts so much I still haven't gotten over it haha. I don't think you ever recover from giving someone your whole being. Everything is just a little dimmer in comparison.
you've kept me entertained so far. New friends are exciting! So by default, you're exciting! Plus, you write so you're better than a lot of people I talk to. :) just do what you feel. Say whatever you'd like. I'll try to keep up a conversation. It's 3:45.... I should be sleeping...
I live in MA. I'm Eastern Standard Time. I don't bother about time. If I'm up and bored, I find something to do. I think it was actually 1 over here when I wrote back. I'm weird and stay up late on weekends. ^_^ woooo saturdays! boooo that they're over! haha
You're very welcome. I like giving feedback on things that are good. She may be like me but even I long to have someone love me. You're a very rare type of boy. Not many boys are so passionate. I envy this girl. She must be pretty special to take a boy from the shell he's in (since most boys are in shells and don't come out because they're dumb) and hold a heart that's so pure. *sigh* If only, if only. Anyway, good luck. I really hope she loves you back someday.
That's okay. It turned out well. =]] It gives it the impression that your life is a mess without that person and you find some sort of order, even if it means you're sad, when you're with them. It's a nice accidental flair to your poem. =]