Why do I bother?I just confuse myself and mess myself up.godammnitso just when i thought it was all over, i went and re-onfused myself again, and just in time for christmas.Like they say, you wait ages for one, and then two come along at once.and whats more, i think hes got more than one.more like hes got everyone.gahf.The Confusion Over Rides My System Every Time.What to do, what to do.so this...

I never really thought, that everything could fall apart quite as spectacularly as it has.But you learn something new every day, or so they say.But when I learnt that, no, he wasn't still in love, or too hurt to be in a relationship again so soon, he was just with someone else behind my back: with one of my friends. I didn't really want to know.It was just one of those things that you wish with...

Dear God,This year, Christmas is going to be an odd and probably disappointing time. I suppose I’ll get some nice presents and I’ll have a few laughs. But the problem is, I won’t be with him.All I really want, God knows, is him.Just to hold him,Just to intertwine with him,Just to tangle my fingers with his,Just to lean my head on his,Just to feel him stroke my hair,Just to hear his voice in...

Gosh, I feel picked on.I mean, really, is me sticking up for someone such abad thing?The others lied, and treated you like crap, and yet you act as if I'm a little nothing, who is always doing things wrong.I mean, saying I don't know her, saying that we aren't friends, We ARE and i DO.And, really, do you have to always separate me from the crowd to be angry at. I mean, seriously, WHY? Arent we...

well text convo really.So, i text him'Omg i had such a crap day. I could kill something'and so the conversation ensues.basically i told him all about my fake friends [[see earlier journal for more info]] and then i think.. well might as well just o for it. make it blatantly obvious that i <3 him.so i didi texted him describing 'the boy' and all the times we've ha together- which he MUST of...

You don't need to know what she didYou don't need to know why..all you need to know is that she lied to me again.yet again she's treated me like a fall back plan, yet again she's treated me like absolute shit.,and then she fails to see why im angryfails to see how that might upset meand now its awkwardand we have lughs in lessons: we were hysterical in RS todaybut te rest of the timenot so muchits...

I was watching his videos, pictures of him with his friends.how could i ever think that with all his great, fun, pretty friends.he would ever like me?i know, i know, all my journals are wingey moany 'oh i want him' journals but....i do!!i don't know why i let myself hope again, and again thoughhe DOESNT like mbut then the hopeful side goesyes he doesand confuses me againits like both sides of my...

So, I heard him call my name, and I didn’t think it was anyone calling me, so I walked into the shop.Good sign #1: He followed me, and shouted my name until we heard.He came up and hugged me, and then stood rubbing my back and holding my hand. (Good sign #2)My heart was beating so fast, I thought I might faint. After all this time of deleting his number and telling mself I don’t like him...