Winter Wakes - Comments

I agree with some of the comments that the summary could be more detailed. I don't agree with them that the layout doesn't fit. I like the layout, and I think it fits perfectly.
This part in the first chapter confused me a little:

"I looked over at my dad instead.

“’Sorry for your loss,’” His voice cut cruelly through the air. “Bullshit. What the hell could you understand about loss?”"

I thought it was her dad saying that. I didn't realize it was the boy who said that until the second chapter.

The twist in the second chapter I felt was well written, though. It had me excited and nervous at the same time. So good job on that.

I've only read the first two chapters, but I can say overall you did a really good job with those. Good luck with your sequel!

(Comment Swap) seems as if the layout match the story, this far. A bit more on the summary wouldn't hurt, and please, name the chapters, even if you're not putting out any description on what they'äre about, which still would be great?
Wow, seems like a very long story, and then, there's even a sequel to it?
This looks a bit too dsesolate, for my taste.
(Chapter 2)
You really captured the moment, and the audience there. The vocabulary seems just right, as if measured.
An image, cut in stone.
Only the poor man, set to face, what he thought himself prepared for, only to learn he was wrong?
guess hes story ought to be told, just like all the countless stories, you brows by here.

The only real problem, the stone monument before the casket, is missing the name, none to point to.
If only the summary could reflect more of the spirit on the story, since this chapter isn't properly reflected in the site of his summary.

Real curious as to where the story is headed.
you're writing is really flawless. Not a lot of writing errors, like grammar and mechanics, which is a good thing. a lot of people, like me, can be very picky about it. Definitely subscribing to this story! and i have already recommended it, since it is really interesting and makes me want to read more and more!

Oh wow, well that is unexpected. I suppose I should have expected it, though. That was quite a second chapter. Now I'm really into this story. Although, there are paragraphs you need to separate :D haha, just-a sayin'.

I am definitely going to stay up later tonight to read every chapter. I can already tell this will be one hell of a story. I will comment some more when I have time to read :)

You have a nice way of writing! You give great detail without being too overwhelming and the character is completely relatable to any teen. You did a great job with realism in this.

I am curious as to where this story is headed. I've only read the first chapter and it's interesting to hear about a child having a father owning a funeral home. It reminds me of My Girl or that one movie with Blake Lively....can't remember the name, but anyway, you've got an interesting story and I shall read the next chapter in hopes of any more information on the plot.

Your writing is almost flawless. I'm rarely a fan of first person, so it takes a good story for me to look past it.

I just adore Maggie's voice - she's witty, but not obnoxiously so. The only word I can think of to describe this story is captivating.

I'm up to chapter 7 now - will be the reading the rest when I get home :)

Within the first paragraph I felt like Maggie was exactly what I was expecting. I don't know what it is, but when your father owns a funeral home, or your life is kind of gothic, I guess I just picture that the character will be sarcastic and kind of dark. I like it.

Your writing flows really nicely, so keep it up!

First, I love your title!
The title is what grabbed my attention before I even read the summary!
As the writer below said I really like the balance of your voice. I can hear your characters very clearly, which is nice.
I can tell that you put a lot of thought into your writing.
Your cliffhanger at the end was perfect!
It wasn't overly dramatic, but it still left me wanting to read more!

Your obviously very talented at writing, you've got a nice balance of just enough description and clever vocabulary that it isn't too much, but a very perfect balance. I like her a lot, actually, I feel like she's a very genuine character in the fact that she does things for the people she cares about even though she'd rather not, it's a sort of begrudging feeling I think a lot of people, or well me at least can really relate to, and it really makes me like her more. The cute boy in second block thing made me smile! :3

I think its a really interesting setting too, I can honestly say I've never read a story about a girl whose parent owns a funeral home, haha. But I like that it sets it apart! And from what I've gathered about the premise, I can probably guess that it will be nothing short of thrilling, especially when ghosts are involved, haha. c:

The last bit really drew me in, and I think that's really good! The hook at the end really made me adore it more, the air of mystery definitely pushes me towards the next chapter, which is always great. I'm a little bit on a bind for time, but I'm definitely subscribing to continue this! This is a really interesting story!

Your title doesn't really relate to the story, but it is good. Your summary is a little bland and doesn't seen to captivate the reader, though it is to the point. a little description may get you more readers.
I don't really like stories like this, but this is really good! just a few mistakes here and there but that can be changed!
very nice, and emotional. deffy being recommended.

Title:
I like the title, but it seems a bit choppy and doesn't seem to flow. But it's still a pretty good title!

Layout:
It's not bad and didn't take away from the story, but I don't utterly love it or anything. It's okay, though, is readable and definitely fits with the story, which is what matters.

Summary:
It's sort, but sweet. It's not entirely captivating, but it is interesting and I definitely love things about dead people.

Whole story:
Usually I just comment on the first chapter if it is long through the comment swap. But not with this. I was up all night, until midnight, reading this and the sequel.

There's a few spelling and grammar errors here and there, but nothing too noticeable or bad. It could have flowed a little better, but...

Otherwise. Wow. Just wow. This was a really great story and very emotional. I felt like my heart was being ripped out through reading it; I felt so many emotions! I'm so glad I came across this story, honestly. It's taken me this long to comment because I'm truly speechless on what to say other than what I have.

This is honestly a favorite story of mine, and I hope to see more from the sequel. Just...good job.

I've already subscribed - so I can read again- and recommended. Hopefully more folks will read this because it's amazing.

wow, i love this. i mean i really love this. it's so unique. the description flows really nicely, and it reads really well.

the layout is lovely, and it goes so well with the story. totally subscribing to this. there's way too much to read tonight, but i'm going to give it a go anyway! <3

This story. I cannot even believe I have never read this before! This story is so intense. From the moment I met Simon's character I fell in love with him. He's so bitter and angry, and I have to know what's killed him. I am plowing through these chapters, I love it so much. Maggie really is a character, let me tell you. I loved that line, 'what I did to piss God off so much' so great, brilliant! I am definitely going to keep reading because this story is so damn amazing.

I love your summary, it's really lovely. I'm a sucker for paranormal romances, or well, just romances in general. I've only read the first chapter and I'm in love. This is amazing with beautiful grammar and spelling, I have no complaints, none. Definitely keep at this, even with it's thirty-six chapters. It's amazing.

This is a really interesting story. I was sent here by comment swap and I just read the first few chapters, but I really enjoyed what I did read. Your grammar and spelling seem spot on. However, your chunky paragraphs are sometimes a little much, and I find my attention straying elsewhere. I like both of your main characters pretty well, and Simon in particular really pulls my attention. The plot line of this story really isn't my cup of tea. I don't like paranormal romances much, and I think they're exceptionally hard to pull off. This was a pretty good piece. I didn't find any grammar/spelling mistakes to point out although in your first chapter there are a few places where you spaced like you wanted to separate two paragraphs, but then forgot to double space, so the two paragraphs are still sort of connected. And that's all I've got to say about that.

*from comment swap*
Damn, 200+ comments. Now, this isn't necessarily something I would read but your writing style is great. Your plot is a great idea, and the idea you're working with is sort of difficult to do, so brownie points there. I'm so jealous that you made some people cry, I wish I had the talent to do it. I could even see this becoming a movie. xo

-comment swap-

lol you have 264 comments...thats insane. I must admit that your story is not really something I would read but I must also admit that you write excellently. Your style is perfect and you have alot of talent. The idea is really interesting. I've only read a few romance stories that invole the dead and most of them fail to impress. Yours, on the other hand, definitely impresses. I'm just reading the comments and it seems like you have some devoted fans. The fact that you even made them cry with your chapters is amazing. I agree with the all the people that are complimenting your style of writing. It's so mature and I love it. I wish you the best of luck!

This is why I love Comment Swap. Not because I get comments, but because I come upon stories I wouldn't otherwise.

This is brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Painfully brilliant.

I cannot put into words how much I love this. The plot is brilliant and your writing is brilliant and the characters are brilliant and *dies*

Brilliant. That's all I can say right now. When I come back to finish it, maybe I'll have some more helpful words, but at this point, it's not likely.

Just... brilliant. <33333

Read the first four paragraphs, subscribed already... so bummed that I have to go to bed right now but I'm sure that tomorrow I'll be hitting this like a crack addict

Wow! I'm really glad that I came across this story. As soon as I read the brief summary, I automatically got hooked. Way to go for drawing me in! :) I must say that I already love this story, which is rare, because I hardly love some of the stories on here. This one is very original and unique. Your writing style is amazing and the entire plot is well detailed and very descriptive. Keep up the good work! *__* I'm off to finish reading now, just thought that I'd let you know how I felt about it so far :)