Hemorrhage. - Comments

When I was in the eight grade I had come to the conclusion that I was overweight. I kept a journal that stated my weight and how muh I would have to lose to get down to 100lbs. I binge and purged and I only gained more. Near the end of eight grade I was in the bathroom crying with a single serving carton of chocolate milk beside me. A girl I had been going to school with for almost 3 years came in, got really flustered and left. I was embarrassed, ashamed. I over to quit my habits. I stopped throwing up, but I never stopped eating. I ate and with every pound I gained A hatred for myself grew inside. I am now at an unhealthy weight of 280-290, but I don't hate myself. Because three years ago I found this story and read it through. I cried and cried for days. I knew something had to change. Something in my head had to change before anything with my body could.

3 years ago I found this story and two years go, that girl who found me with the chocolate milk, crying on the floor, was sent to a hospital. She state there for 4 weeks and though everyone was shocked, we shouldn't have been. She was sick, 80 something pounds and we all knew it. She came home but didn't get better. So she moved to the city into the children's ward, for 4 months. And when she came home she seemed better. We graduated as best frieds. And then she returned to the city to follow her dreams. I traveled abroad and then we both came home. She was a skeleton. A shadow of herself. Just skin wrapped delicately over sharp bones, hips and jaw lines, collar bones and knobby knees. I was terrified, and we weren't friends anymore. We still aren't friends. I fear she won't live. I don't know what I would do with myself. So I made myself better. I am better.

Then tonight, this story popped up on my feed and I clicked the link. And I read. And I cried. And I am crying. And I will continue to cry because despite how much this story changed me, I can't change my friend. I can't reach her.

This story is an accurate and terrifyingly honest portrayal of mental illness. Thank you for this. I hope this story will reach other girls and boys, I hope it saves someone like it saved me.

This story was amazing! Congrats, it's good that you wrote about anorexia and how it's not just a "I want to be skinny" behavior, it's a mental disease that can be fixed.

This story has been around for awhile and I'm glad I read it. It took me awhile, but nonetheless worth my time. I'm very excited for the sequel! I'm grateful you decided to continue it. I think this is a real eye opener to the "unspoken controversies" of the world. Not many stories are like this. It was well written and left me with something to think about. Fantasic work!

Definitely one of my favorite fanfics of all time. Great job! :-)

I finished reading this today, and this is great. Really.

I was recommended this story a while back and bookmarked it and I'm SO glad that I sat down and read this - I'm not finished yet, I'm only on chapter eleven but I can already tell that you have amazing writing skills. This is already one of my favorite stories on John<3 I've been listening to Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye while reading and I'm just ready to bawl my eyes out. I'm an easy crier.

It would hurt too much. Because he was always talking about how much they hurt me, but they had done no damage compared to him.

He had always done the most.

You have a beautiful way with words.

I just found and read this whole story. It was amazing, and it made me think of eating disorders in a different light, the whole aspect of control, the whole aspect of feeling not worth it. I know that this happens in world around us, and it makes me sad to think that beautiful people like Emilie can feel that way. keep writing! this was an amazing story, and i am DEFINITELY reading the sequel!

I just found and read this whole story. It was amazing, and it made me think of eating disorders in a different light, the whole aspect of control, the whole aspect of feeling not worth it. I know that this happens in world around us, and it makes me sad to think that beautiful people like Emilie can feel that way. keep writing! this was an amazing story, and i am DEFINITELY reading the sequel!

hey there, i just read that whole story today and i thought it was amazing. i like how it was focused not all on Emelie and John's relationship but a lot on her eating disorder too. i loved all of it and i can't wait to start on the sequel. :) you're a great writer!

I like it.
Hit close to home and even made me cry.
My favorite part of the story is what you said on the summary page.
Thank-you alot.

I started reading this, it's amazing. You're really a fantastic writer.

I just reread this story again for like the millionth time.
It's probably and always will be my fave John'O story.
I just love it so much.
xo

i can't describe how this made me feel. it was truly amazing an kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time i was reading it xD.

Well, this is by far one of the most amazing awesome stories I've ever read. I spent all night reading it, and not only did it have one of my favorite people in it (John) it was so much more, I have been wanting to lose weight a lot lately, and I've been wanting to desperatly because I'm like 130 and all my friends are 117 and stuff. And I've tried the whole making myself throw up thing before and I was actually planning on trying that again not long ago, and this shows how it can truly screw up your life. Its an amazing story. :) And it has a great meaning! Its one of the first to ever have two good things in one. Imma suscribe to this just because I don't wanna forget this story, its woow. :D

So i just read this story and i have to say that it was amazing.
You're a wonderful writer and i'm really impressed.
I hope to see another story from you, because i really enjoyed this one.

Thank you for writing this.

This story was just beautiful.
By not writing about love and joy and fluff, like all the other fanfics on here, you really took a risk. You wrote about something serious, something that needs to be written about. I could tell you put a lot of research into this story and the issue seemed like it was very close to you, which brought it closer to me. Lately my mum has been concerned about my eating habits, and every time she brings it up I get pissed off and ignore her. After reading this I'm starting to realise that I need to be careful about where I'm heading. And I'll probably read it again to remind myself.
You have a great writers voice, its a mix between Plath in The Bell Jar and Coelho in Veronika Decides to Die. Two of my favourite books.
Thanks for writing this story.

Keep doing what you're doing, cos you're doing a great job.
Aidyn

I only have one word:
Amazing :)

Wow, so I just now got the GIFT and PLEASURE of reading this story. It was absolutely fantastic.
The way Emmile felt is so real to many people this days and you made me, as a reader, personally feel as if I was experiencing it with her. The writing was beautiful, and once again so real.. proably the best story I have read on here by far.
Great job (:

I just now read the ending, haha. But I absolutley loved it. I'm sad this story has ended but it was beautifully written and the plot was intense. [: Great job.