Look At Me - Comments

Comments make your day?
This story makes my day (:

oh my gosh! love it!
i can't wait until leo explains what the fuck happened. lol.

Im so confused, does it go in the past back and forward? i feel like i missed 3 chapters. Besides that Can you get to the point like you wrote, everything else is awesome

oh. my. god.
must read more D:
lol can't wait x

my reaction to the kiss: zomg! :D
keep it up! <3

oooh cliffhanger .
I'm really liking this story :)

Great story. luv it.!

I FOUND A BOOBOO =)
Chapter 2:

But now, I was done feeling awkward and helpless. As soon as my game was over, I'd get the bastard. I'd do almost anything to get back him.
You need an at

"Nah, someone like you isn't worth my time. Go back and play fetch the soccer ball. When you're ready to fight, come tell me."
With the soccer ball?

Seems cool:)

Ok, I'm gonna be a problem spotter (cause I'm waiting for the maple story patch to finish)

"Her body pressed against mine, her lips pressed against my ear as she whispered dirty things to me."
The word pressed is awkwardly overused here. Maybe "brushing against my ear..." would be better?

"Her hands running through my hair, making me want to purr in delight."
Verb confusion. "ran through my hair"

"My face barely avoided crashing into the red bricks of the wall, my hands placed in front of me."
Um.. semi-colon rather than coma?

*claps* tis interesting

Ok, I'm gonna be a problem spotter (cause I'm waiting for the maple story patch to finish)

"Her body pressed against mine, her lips pressed against my ear as she whispered dirty things to me."
The word pressed is awkwardly overused here. Maybe "brushing against my ear..." would be better?

"Her hands running through my hair, making me want to purr in delight."
Verb confusion. "ran through my hair"

"My face barely avoided crashing into the red bricks of the wall, my hands placed in front of me."

Um.. semi-colon rather than coma?

OMGEE you posted it!!

N.A.U.G.H.T.Y.

and I only read the summary so far, but there was a boo boo!!

"Comments like that made by the famous Sammy, ignored by Leo."

This story is... different. I kind of like it though. You should continue it. Umm... I can't think of any comments or critizisms other than that, but I hope this was somewhat helpful.