No Man's Land - Comments

I really enjoyed the language of the first third of this chapter. I don't know how deliberate it was, but a lot of the words related to fire in some way.

. The sun was long gone, the only light to be found in the sky being the glows from the streetlamps to the front of the house, and the yellowish bulbs that shone down into the backyard from the side of a neighbor’s garage.

And the mention of Contessa being "fiery" and Jackie's "fiery red hair". It created a really wonderful atmosphere and fitted the mood well. Fire can be dangerous but is also really alluring. I could relate that back to Gerard returning to Jackie's tattoo of a bullet, despite it being a very personal issue.

I thought you handled that touchy subject very well, actually. It's so easy to just recite a scenario with no emotion, but you didn't. I could understand why we only heard what we did. Gerard doesn't need to know everything, nor do we. In some ways having the readers fill in the gaps is very interesting, to see what different theories people have. I'd actually rather not recite what I'm thinking, it's pretty abstract and may not even make sense.

Bah, the Fitzgeralds get to have fun together. I'm jealous. I have a new favourite room in the story, too. (Sorry Jackie's bedroom.) But Aunt Dina sounds so amazing and that kind of thing is what I've dreamed about having on my walls. A whole of drawings that don't have to conect, but can just exist side-by-side.

Evan Wise will never stop being gorgeous. "Pass the rest along..."

I just caught up with last two updates and I must say that I do like the story, but I am starting to get bored by it. What I mean for this is that the story have been going on for about 50 chapters now and we are not one step closer into finding out anything about Jackie for one, Even, Anna, or any of the other character. I thought once the chapter was coming up when Jackie revealed what he was that we would get to find out all of that info with Gee, but we didn't. Instead we are left in the dark still with no sense of light. All we know now is that Jackie's mother did some f up things to him and his father really didn't help.

Also, to go along with that we have not found out about Anna. We got the jest of it, but not the full story, I thought that that would be revealed so that we would have a sense of insight on the other characters while we waited to find out about Jackie, but yet again there is nothing.

I like this story I really do, but I really starting not to like these long drawn out chapters that seem not to go anywhere and if they did it takes a few more chapters before it gets to the point. I just hope this is not one of those this is a 400 chapter story where it just keeps going and going without finding out about anything.

Some people may want to rip into me now, but thats just my view. I feel that this is starting to go now where, but I will see what the next few chapters hold.

But it was still AMAZING.

And I will DIE if Jackie and Gerard break up. Jackie will too. And that would just be.. SAD. Then Gee would get beat up by anna and evan and tafy and EVERYONE man. And that would just be BAAD. rofl.

Updates more often. Cause I really LOVE this story. A lot!

This was amazing. I don't know what to say.
It was just...amazing.

like the pots and pans couldn’t wait for him to leave the room so they could run to Jackie and tell him what had been said.

XD Those sneaky-ass tattle-telling pots and pans.

I love the bit when Gerard is explaining about all the “issues” in the relationship that he’s now really starting to realize he needs to deal with. It’s so realistic to put of some things, just figuring that either (a) you won’t be with the person long enough to have to really deal with it or (b) convincing yourself that it’s not really a big deal anyway, even though a part of you knows that it is. And it’s a shit position when you’re sort of “in too deep” with the relationship to just pull away and break things off because of it, so you end up feeling kind of stuck. And you end up having to really think about things, not only about the situation at hand, but about the kind of person you are, you know? So you end up having that moment when it’s like, “Am I the kind of person that would step out of relationship because of something like this? But can I really stay just to prove that I’m a ‘better’ person? Can I be okay with this? I can’t change things, but can we work this out?”

In this chapter, Gerard is just speaking my brain. The bit about knowing that something is “selfish” but wouldn’t it be worse to stay and pretend, or…am I in this thing for real? Would I be willing to make those kinds of sacrifices? If I do, will it be for better or worse? Ooooooh, Jinxeh.

Reading this makes me think of the whole Mike and me thing. Where’s it’s kind of like, if I can see this not working out in the end, is it fair to the other person – to either of us – to continue on?

It’s all so relatable!

Whoa, the Cynthia thing was kind of “left-field” for me. I hadn’t really been thinking in that direction – the almost-jealousy direction. Ha-ha. Full o’ surprises. I like that, though, that there’s now this other level of insecurities that’s resurfacing. Again, very realistic. It’s often not one thing, with the doubt, it’s a shit-load of snowballin’ insecurities – things you’ve kind of thought about in the past, but not really; the stuff that, the more you think about it, the more clearly you can see how it can be a problem. And there’s the facing reality bit, the fact that, yeah, maybe Cynthia and Jackie ARE meant to be – and maybe Gerard’s qualms about that are more of a self-preservation thing; not wanting to get further into a relationship with someone that’s meant for someone else, and end up having to live in constant fear that one day Jackie and Cynthia are going to wake-up and realize that they should be together.

Gerard and I are like soulmates right now, no pun intended.

And then I can also see Frank’s point. I can see that it’s unfair of Gerard to try to make decisions like that – whether or not he should continue with the relationship – without sharing his fears with Jackie. The whole making decisions FOR Jackie is definitely an issue; Gerard trying to decide what’s going to be best for the both of them. I GET it. :(

Great job :)
Nooo make Gee and Jackie be okay.

Oh dude. I was convinced Gerard had phoned Mikey, so I when the name "Jamia" popped up, I went back and started again. But by the time I had finished that bit it made more sense. I could very much envison Gerard going to Frank for some advice and Frank's reactions were spot-on.

“He wants kids,” he blurted out before he could stop himself. “Like, a lot of kids. A million fucking kids. Enough to start two separate soccer teams so they can play against one another, basically.”

I don't know why that made me giggle, but it really did. I think it's the image of Jackie then refereeing a match between all these kids and instead of paying them for winning, they'd get first pick on meals and get to stay up half an hour later. Haha.

All Gerard's concerns were really well done, so convincing and genuine and realistic.

Evan, oh man, I just...he's awesome. Dude. I know he's so much more than just a child in an adult's body and that's great, but this whole chapter he was just adorable. Oh man, he and Anna are amazing and Evan's grocerry store antics were adorable. I hope they were fun to write, because they were hilarious to read. Ohmygod, trolley jousting? Why don't we get anyone that interesting at my work?

And Anna paints his toenails. Awww... I am just...estatic right now. I think Evanna is my favourite pairing ever. This chapter was short, but just generally awesome, because you made them deal with it in an adult manner. When one character is upset the world doesn't fall down around them while them have an emo fit. There are things that get done, like grocerry shopping and painting toenails! This is fantastic and so are you.

Hm....

Seeing a new chapter of this story always makes me smile c:

I really hope Gerard stops being a douche and accepts the fact that he's PERFECT FOR HIM.

But seriously though, I'm holding out until the next chapter. Maybe sometimes before next year? :D

Aaaw Gerard, don't feel so bad about everything. Just go with the flow, it's what I do and it works pretty good!

I'm done and confused. I FET there then u dont tell me. Christ ur a brain tease.

But very good though. The last bits confuzzling. But otherwise. Magnificent.

Okay, so, I LOVE the story. It's amazing. It's original. It's grammatically correct. Everything I love in a story.

Mostly, I just commented to let you know that I'm forming a band, and we want to use The Headless Choir for our band name. Just thought I'd check in with you to make sure it's okay! :)

What. the. Fuck.
holy shit.
Oh my god.
Dammit.
Can you please just tell us holy crap this is maddening

All hail the mistress of the cliffhanger! It was interesting to see a totally different perspective of Cynthia, since "dependant" isn't a word that would come to my mind when describing her. I'm curious as to whether the fight between Gerry and Jeffrey was something to do with why NML won't return to Warped Tour - or did that happen on a different tour?

“This isn’t the ‘I think he’s The One’ talk, is it?”

“God, no.” Jackie actually had to laugh a bit, at that. “It’s been a few weeks, Dad. Let’s not jump the gun here, okay? You know how I feel about all that stuff, anyway.”

“Oh, thank god.” Red breathed a sigh of relief. “I was almost ready to drive over there just to knock some sense into you.”

I was quite literally cheering Red on there. That man is fantastically sensible.

Kudos to you for bringing Jackie to the point where he wants to tell Gerard, but they aren't getting all soppy and uttering the L-word. I was on the brink of hitting the back button in case they decided they had fallen in love this quickly, but then I read “I know how corny this sounds, but I…like you for you, okay? and felt better, since Gerard said "like".

I'm not that torn up about not finding out everything in this chapter. You've given us forty-eight amazing chapters with the best original characters inserted into bandom that I have ever had the pleasure of reading. I just figure, when we do learn what happened, it'll be a privilege to read whenever it comes.

That said, the saying goes "sooner rather than later"...so you know. :P

): ): ):

Amazing chapter, you have at least one person who is guaranteed to read the next part after that ending. Update soon, please?

o m g.

Not fair! Not fair at all! I am crying tears of pain! Not happiness at your glorious words, but pain! Pain and anguish of not knowing what happened to Mr Flores! Outrage!

Jackie is NOT a mistake. I will slap him.

what happened?

I gasped very audibly and my heart stopped for a moment. If Jackie and Gerard can't make it, WHAT HOPE IS THERE FOR THE REST OF US?!?! D:/overreacting

Seriously though, I lovelovelovelovelove this so much and I'm hoping maybe the next one will come before next year? A Festivus present?

Wait, what...Jackie told Gerard but you didn't bother to write this and let us know about his gender? You're just...mean.

I love you anyway.

The cute Evan/Anna moments were adorable, Red/Jackie was just...amazing and so truthful, I don't think Jackie is so truthful to anyone but his dad. I'm sure even Evan or the rest of the guys of the band know stuff that Red does know and happened when Jackie was on tour or something. It intrigues me.

Jackie's mom's a bitch. Let's just make a macro of that or something. It's the understatement of the year.