Still Doll - Comments

Very good. I liked it. Update more, please :)

....update. update. update. pleaseeee

I got it from Kanon Wakeshima's Still Doll yes, and this is a story request for a friend, and it's...well, a fan ficion(what they call it). ^-^

Did you got this from the Japanese song still doll by kanon?
If so wouldn't that be like a fan fic then? Bc ur adding on to the plot? :)

This story is very well written. And I too, like the setting of it. You don't see many stories about dolls having lives. And if you do, not many of them are good at writing about it. The picture on the summary page is very lovely, and suits the story.

i loveeee this story!!!!! you just gotta update soon!
:O)

Truly a must read, I find your setting it a good pace, I hope both main characters can develop in their relationship.

Lol. No he didn't. You'll see in the future. ^-^

Oddly addictive(: Really unqiue too...Did William drug her or something?

Was she dropped mercilessly when she was an infant?

{This made me laugh.}

And yes, I think this is much better. It's more intriguing. I like that picture on the summary page too. She really does look like a doll.

It's a very nice idea, and quite well written in terms of choice of words

However, some points of grammar you may want to look at. Things like carriage returns when people speak, avioding run on sentences and such. Some of it is a little jumbled, and you start a new topic without starting a new sentence. If you're not sure how to break up the sentences, read it aloud, and if you run out of breath there should have been a full stop or comma in there somewhere.

I reckon, with some tidying up of the grammar and such, you could probably be a writer. But it is a tough job, it can take years to get published, but just don't give up.

I'll rewrite it don't worry ^-^

Wow.
I liked the idea. A doll? I can't wait. The intro to the story wasn't too exciting, but it wasn't too boring either.
I'm eager to read this story.

Wow.
I liked the idea. A doll? I can't wait. The intro to the story wasn't too exciting, but it wasn't too boring either.
I'm eager to read this story.