When Night Falls - Comments

I've read the first three chapters, and this is beautifully written, it is elegant and well worded. Your description creates such clear images as you read, and everything flows from one chpater to the next without any disruption in what you see. I really like the idea behind the plot as well... I'm going to subscribe and come back a little later to read the rest :)

Ok, wow that was so great, first of all the title says it all. When Night Falls, it grabbed my attention not only that but I figured it would have some type of monster and it did. That lived up to my expectations, because it’s about a monster has a monster in it. I did however only read through the first chapter, that being the size of words is really small and I have terrible eye sight-even with glasses. The first several paragraph was the real hook for me, not just the title. I loved the description it was well done however, your first chapter was really long and I can’t read long things because I get bored easily. NOT that your story was boring- it was really good, I just don’t like to read long things.

*I hope my English was ok*

@ the dalliance.
You flatter me. <3
You're so good for my ego I think I'm gonna keep you. :)

@ fauvism
Come Niccybaby and read this

OMG. WHO IS DEAD. I NEED TO KNOW. Don't let it be Alejandro. I can manage Marcus or Isabel being dead but not her love. Actually, let it be one of the servants. Like seriously I need to know whose blood she smelt. Brilliant chapter like always. Can't wait for the next one!

@ fauvism
New York and Chicago were first and second for highest population in 1890 according to the census done that year. 1,515,301 in New York and 1,099,850 in Chicago and while there is a big gap it wouldn't be too apparent with the person per square foot.

Cant wait for you to finish the next chapter so you can read it because I know it'll break my heart too. It'll be the next one or the one after, it just depends on how quickly I can move along the filler.

Oh the cliffhanger, I'm dreadfully excited to know what happens to Marcus and Isa. I hate the feeling I get thinking that they'll be hurt because I feel like they will and you've made them so lovable, lovable and overprotective parents of their little girl. You're gonna break my heart!

I'm very excited though, it'll be really intriguing to see how Lillian reacts to all of the new things she'll come across in New York, especially with the ridiculous population anyway. Was the population of New York still so large in that time? I'd assume so, it's always been crazy. Anyhow, I knew I'd be a bad editor because after beginning to read the latest chapter keeping an eye out for mistakes, I sort of got too into the story and just sped on along trying to take it all in. I'll give it another read and get back to you but it read really well! I cannot wait for more.

@ the dalliance.
Can I just say I'm cackling at your prediction?

YES, an update! I have a suspicion the Whole is going to strike with a mighty vengeance and it will not be pretty. New York City cannot make that problem go away. Enjoy the bright and shiny copper with your bae Lillian while you can. Can I just say, that I totally forgot that the Statue of Liberty was actually coppery in appearance at one point until I read that. LOL. I need to mention the great idea of how as vampires, they can tolerate the sun but only for a certain period before they show "symptoms". Genius.

I seriously need to write a decent review of this story and express my fangirling properly.

This is an amazing start. I really love the story idea so far and the way you write oh my gosh. You have really perfected the way people talk during that time period and your descriptions (of what is happening) are really clear ad flow together nicely to paint a perfect picture in my head. Isabel is so sweet, I love that they took her in at the end of chapter one. As for the layout it's really simple and that's how I like it. ^.^ You have yourself a new subscriber ;)

OH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH. Wifey, I knew there was a reason I dedicated all of the soon-to-come sexual stuff in Quartet to you. That was just, wow. I have no words for this but I mean, is it wrong to say I loved it?
I love this story, I don't think i've told you that or anything but I think it is just so amazing. I love vampires and I don't know you just wrote this whole thing so amazingly, I can't say it enough. Plus your writing itself, not just the story is astonishing. I absolutely adore this, wifey and I'm really happy you're updating and everything. Gaaaaahhhh keep at this!

First I have to say the layout is amazing, the banner is awesome,it kind of give a feel to what you are writing about. Vampire's I am guessing.

I have so far read the very first chapter and I have to say, the way you write all together is just amazing. I am not picking about errors, but even if I was I really do see a single error in this story so far. The way you describe her and the way she is just hunting the man is just amazing, I feel like I can imagine every single detail down to the bloody gore of it all. The way isa takes her in and treats her like a family member right away is so sweet and caring.

I can tell the time era is set back in the days, I don't know what era but I know its is not 2013 and I love the way you have the talking. You get it so right and on the dot. They way the explain humans to be slaves is very interesting,Gosh the more I read the more I get pulled into this. I have to say I am not the best with leaving comments but I am trying my best with this. You make then seem so elegant and proper, the way you explain why she doesn't have any sexual desire towards marcus.

The way yuou explain how she sees Alejandro is just...sexy... lol I cant wait for another chapter. This is by far an amazing story and has captivated me sooo much.

First I have to say the layout is amazing, the banner is awesome,it kind of give a feel to what you are writing about. Vampire's I am guessing.

I have so far read the very first chapter and I have to say, the way you write all together is just amazing. I am not picking about errors, but even if I was I really do see a single error in this story so far. The way you describe her and the way she is just hunting the man is just amazing, I feel like I can imagine every single detail down to the bloody gore of it all. The way isa takes her in and treats her like a family member right away is so sweet and caring.

I can tell the time era is set back in the days, I don't know what era but I know its is not 2013 and I love the way you have the talking. You get it so right and on the dot. They way the explain humans to be slaves is very interesting,Gosh the more I read the more I get pulled into this. I have to say I am not the best with leaving comments but I am trying my best with this. You make then seem so elegant and proper, the way you explain why she doesn't have any sexual desire towards marcus.

The way yuou explain how she sees Alejandro is just...sexy... lol I cant wait for another chapter. This is by far an amazing story and has captivated me sooo much.

@ Qhuinn
Yay! : :

@ MemeBatmansRobin
Thank you so much.

It means a lot to me to hear people are enjoying this. Next update should be up in a week or so. all it needs to have done is a really good edit.

I love it. Your descriptions are amazing and I like the from gutter eat to refined lady approach. Please continue soon :

I love this story. It was very entertaining the whole time through so far and I found myself unable to look for mistakes because I was so absorbed in the story itself. Your descriptions are amazing, and your sentences and paragraphs read very well.

I couldn't see the layout, because I'm on my phone but I'm subscribing and recommending it. It was so amazing: please update soon!

@ Hika
I'm glad you liked it!
The third one will be posted the second my Beta gets back from her trip and sends it to me!
I'm pretty excited for the third one because I'm introducing one of the main characters to the story.

Now that you mention it his attitude is a lot like Lannister's.

I hadn't even meant to do it, its just the way that Marcus demanded to be written.

You are brilliant! This second chapter is grasping, and I like the way the characters are developing (though Macus has me feeling like I feel for Jaime Lannister: a kind but cocky ass)

Anyways, 'tis lovely :) can't wait for the third one

I really enjoyed this - the writing is smooth and, though it contains the rare spelling mistake, isn't littered enough to distract the reader. Almost immediately I felt myself being pulled in, and even though we've only cleared two chapters I adore the characters.

The only critique I can think of giving is a bit more description on the characters. Through the dialogue and motions the reader can already extrapolate quite a bit about the character, but I feel like description can only serve to further that.

I'm subscribing, and I can't wait to see what happens next to Avery and her new-found family.

From the comment swap :)

Wow. This is really kind of breathtaking. I'm so glad to see a vampire story that is more Anne Rice than Stephanie Meyer. So refreshing. It definitely takes a very nice step back to the original stories of vampires--the goth, the gore, the gorgeously daunting mysteries. Beautiful. I'm definitely subscribing.