Imagination - Comments

I like this story a lot. Question: what movie(s) did you get the clips for your trailer from?

Subscribed :) I truly loved it, and I'll admit it Sebastian fasanates me-though I know I did not spell the right so please forgive me. The description in the story was great, and the summery just sucked me it. To be honest I couldn't stop reading. The one thing I might sugest to to make the font a little bigger, for me-though it might just be my eye sight- it was hard to read. I had to get close to my computer. Other then that I loved it. Keep on writing. :)

Holy shit.

That was amazing. Everything you said, all of it, was almost magical. I love how you made the first chapter into a flash into the future. I have not scene someone do that! You pulled it off so well too. I got to say, you have a way with words. There was so much detail, and so much artistic flow that went through this. It's truly amazing, I can't even think of a good word I'm so blown away. I thought you built the characters very well too. Truly amazing. Thank you so much for posting this on Mibba. That is how a story should look like, hahaha. Also, I love the layout and the banner. So beautiful.

I'm really loving this story :) I can't wait for the next chapter! It's very intriguing. You're enticing my curiosity, which is a good trait to have as an author. I LOVE how certain details are slowly released. Plus, it's unlike a lot of things that are on this site, it's pretty abnormal (that's a good thing!) :D Your grammar is great as well, so there aren't many distractions as I read it. Fantastic job!! Please write more :)

First, great grammar and punctuation- most people around here haven't got that. Second, the line "The pain Dahlia felt throbbed incandescently" was very interesting. Incandescent throbbing? I love strange combinations of words. And I like the names you've chosen for your characters.

Okay. So I've only read the first two chapters and I briefly flicked through the rest. I thought it'd be like the rest of the stories on Mibba... cliché nonsense that has no real plot.

However I was quite amazed and it was definitely the opposite. You clearly are a very talented writer, and anyone should be envious of your ability.

What a flip in character. I actually sorta started to like Lucien. But I guess that went to wrong. What was his game? To be nice to her so she can talk?? I actually wonder what is going through his head! He's such a hortid character but very well done.:).

This really is amazing.

Your description is simply stunning - it's just an absolute pleasure to read. You drew me in straight from your gorgeous first line and kept me hooked right until the end, and still left me wanting more! I was dissapointed when I went onto the last chapter and tried to go further but realised there was no more to read!

The idea of switching between the time periods is fantastic. The only thing I've rever read before that managed to make sense of this is The Time Traveler's Wife, which is quite possible my favourite book ever. And, in many ways, this story reminds me of it. Right down to your beautiful writing style, inventive descriptions, poetic narrative and te way you drop little clues of events to come in the past sections. It's just sdfghjkl;asdfghjkl;asdfghjkl;asdfghjkl; I can't describe it. I'm just a bit lost for words.

Wow...just wow.

I honestly did not expect this story to be as amazing as it was. The very way you write is interesting and captivating, and the way you form your words is perfection. I could not find that many grammar issues either, or perhaps I was so captivated they were overlooked. The layout is really good, it doesn't take away from the story at all, or distract people, but at the same time it is not bland at all. Overall, I really love this story and I shall continue to read it.

So I read the first couple of chapters and I must say that I haven't read a story quite like this one. The way you capture the reader is amazing. You are very descriptive in your writing, sometimes a little too descriptive, but it is still good none the less :)

Your layout works very well, and I enjoy it. Reading this is quite easy and it keeps me hooked. I didn't find any mistakes or anything like that, your writing is flawless. I love the mystery feel behind it and I can picture everything perfectly and that is what I love about this story that you have created. Great job :) Definitely keep up the amazing work

what a father! He's such a twisted person! How could he do that to his own child?! Urgh!! I wanna kill him!
It was too short! I wanted more. I guess I'll have to be patient for the next installment. If I can wait! I still cannot express my awe at your writing. It's matured so much. I'm amazed. Keep it up! :]

I read chapters one and two and they were lovely.
I'm liking the whole concept and the secrecy. You
did a great job. :D I love the layout too, and the picture fits perfectly!

Okay, I've only read the first two chapters so far, but I already know that I love it and felt the need to comment on that already. xD
So far, I have a lot of questions about the characters and what's going to happen(so of course I'm going to read the rest ASAP. :3), it seem mysterious.The scientists seem creepy. (But aren't they always?) I like how it's written a lot; I don't know how to describe that(I'm kinda sucky at explaining things) but I love your writing style. :)

Subbing. ^-^

Swap:
Dear lord.
This, I only read the first chapter, but it was...wow.
I didn't catch any mistakes what-so-ever, grammatically, or spelling-wise.
Your flow was amazing, and I absolutely loved the length.

Your writing style in this story is very descriptive and makes it easy for the reader to picture.
I feel horrible for Dahlia, I only read one chapter and I feel as though she is going to--and has went
through un-imaginable torture.

Aha, your going to make me develop a fear of scientists.
You really pulled the reader in with the first chapter, especially with the way you left it off, making me all curious and all.
Good job(:

Wow. So I know I've read part of this before; I just picked up from where I left up. And wow, this is just as incredible as I remembered. The idea, the plot, the characters, the writing...it's all extremely well done. I can definitely tell you worked hard on it :) My only very teeny tiny concrit...and it really is questionable as whether it is one, is that occasionally your writing is a bit dense. It's doing all the right stuff, but it's doing it...almost too much? This only happens very occasionally, so I wouldn't worry about it; you did say you wanted some honest comments though.

I love this story! Dahlia is that sort of character I fall for. That line "god forgive me" reminds me of Bring Me The Horizon.

You! How could you end it there?!?! That was too mean. XP. I enjoyed that. I really liked how you made the bit with Lucien have no dialoge. It made the second half that much more dramatic. :). Though there is only one bit that annoyed me about Dahlia this tine and that was when she did seem like she was gonna listen to Seb, :), when he started explaning his story. Other than that very good indeed. x].
So he was working against the gov. Hehe cuba and Che g. (Sorry for any mispelling) just rushed into my head when i saw that. now we just have to see whether he's working for the people then he could become a mino Che G. x]

You! How could you end it there?!?! That was too mean. XP. I enjoyed that. I really liked how you made the bit with Lucien have no dialoge. It made the second half that much more dramatic. :). Though there is only one bit that annoyed me about Dahlia this tine and that was when she did seem like she was gonna listen to Seb, :), when he started explaning his story. Other than that very good indeed. x].
So he was working against the gov. Hehe cuba and che g.

Title & Summary
I don’t have much to say about the title beyond it’s a good one that puts good images in my head, and the layout is gorgeous. It’s simple and I like that and even though I don’t know the people in the image, I like them and they way they’re interacting with each other. I also really like the summary—that is a great quote.

Chapter One
This is very, very curious. I really, really dig it. First of all, your descriptions are wonderful. The way you describe the girl as a ghost puts an image in my head right away, as with the sleep deprived scientist. I’m incredibly curious as to a lot of things, which makes me want to keep reading.

Chapter Two
You have a way with words that is really pleasant. I like the way everything sounds and how you describe what’s happening and who this girl is. For some reason, I ailso really liked that they met while she was playing in the snow. It was cute. I also like the character of Sebastian so far—that he needed a change and to get away from whatever his past was. Makes me want to know what exactly happened to him. He’s very mysterious.

Chapter Three
I liked that even though she had only met him once, she was still thinking about him weeks later. You have great descriptions—I personally have a habit of relying more on dialogue to lend to the scene, and it’s nice to see a totally different way of shaping things. I like that her mother asks if she’s in love, even though she’s only met this boy once.

Chapter Four
The change in perspective was good and I didn’t see it coming at all. I thought it was sweet that he picked her up and moved her. It’s nice to get to know him a little better, but it’s also nice that you still haven’t included everything. So far, this story is at a great pace.

Chapter Five
It took me a minute to realize that we were back at the beginning of the story basically, and I was confused but I got it—my fault, not yours. This chapter really makes me wonder what kind of place they’re in, because they can’t be in our world. They have to be in a different place, or maybe in the future. It was sweet that when she thought of him, the pain wasn’t so great. Once again here, you’re doing a great job at describing everything. It’s so wonderful.

Chapter Six
I can’t say much about this chapter that I haven’t said about all the others—I love the way you describe things, and in this chapter I Love how the plot is being forwarded, though I am confused as to exactly what kind of place they’re in.

Chapter Seven
This chapter was kind of a departure at first—now she’s thinking about this Lucien character—great name by the way—instead of the scientist or Sebastian. You did a great job of describing him through her; making out his character by what she thinks of him.

Oh, a cliffhanger. Excellent.

Overall
I hardly have words for how great this is. Such an interesting concept—so original and unique. The kind of thing I wish I could write, but am never able to do. You’re very, very talented.

Do you comprehend the beauty of this composition? Because I don't think that you do. Your writing is so powerful and. . .beautiful. So gorgeous and flowery and I don't think there's another word to describe it. It's so different than most styles I encounter on this website. I love this and I'm going to continue to read this when I have a greater amount of time on my hands. But for real. . . it's gorgeous. Oh, and one more thing, I freaking adore the name Dahlia. <3 So I will be back for more. ;)