Imagination - Comments

As Fall.like.dominos said you painted a wonderful picture here in both chapters! (I read the first one a few days ago back but never commented). You're truly talented. Your descriptions are wonderful and you really captured your characters personalites well! I honestly don't know what you could improve on for this is just fabulous already! The plot line is so original and mysterious. I can't wait to read more. Keep the updates coming! <3

To truly outline the picture you are trying paint. so keep it up!

Okay. Where shall i begin? :). I really like the originalty of the story. It's a fresh idea (for me) and i really like it. For some unknown reason my mind kept jumping from being set it being set in the 19th century. I'd say it's the torture like contraptions. :). I'm seriously looking forward to this story cos thete are so mahy ways to approach it and it if you forget about this story for a long time you are dead meat! For a person who hated discriptive stuff, your dishing out your owb kibd. Though iwoukd advice to not be over discriptive othetwise it could confuse us little readers.
I'm really liking your way of writing though, you take time to truly paint the picture you te trying to paint

Oh my gosh, I've heard of this phenomena before! It's so crazy! And I have to say that chemical romantics. took the words right out of my mouth, as always xD Anyways, I'm captivated by this. It's so mysterious, especially with the scientist says, "This woman, Dahlia Talbot, has been in our research lab for several months now. At first it appeared impossible to prove the existence of Sebastian Dalburn, but now with our advanced technology it can be discovered." To me, it also sounds majorly creepy. I have goosebumps as I read this xD This is so amazing.
I'm definitely subbing to this and am looking forward to more. Lovely job! <3

I like the layout and the banner, it makes it mysterious looking and I like it. The beginging is kind of weird, so she's a ghost, and people are trying to study her or something? and apparently she is like freaking out right? Whoa, very weird and mysterious. I wonder what this whole secret she's trying to hide is. This is pretty interesting! and you can go soo many places with this, good job and keep up the good work!

First off, the banner is legit awesomness.
So is this story; this is one of the most unique ideas I've seen on Mibba, ever. I love this plot idea, and I really want to see where it goes; definitely subbing.
Your description is exquisite; the only thing I'd critique would be the fluidity. featherless biped already pointed this out, so I won't elaborate.
I feel like this story is going to be one of those rare gems that ,manages to go rather...deep, while still maintaning an excellent, engagaing plotline.
Can't wait for the next part!

This is really interesting and original.
I like the idea, I like where it's going, but isn't the secret kind of blown now? The scientist hooked wires up to her brain to project her thoughts, everyone knows, right?
Or is the secret more where he is and why?

You're great with descriptions, grammar, and spelling. The one thing I'd focus on is the fluidity. Meaning that you have to find a way to make the sentences flow into one another. So the read is enticed and cannot stop reading. The thing that makes the chapters fly by. Typically the best way to do this is to not stress, relax, and let it be natural.

I think it could be love...

I think this story is going to be one of my favourite things in life. You may have created a monster in allowing me to read this. You said yesterday you were "lost" well I'm pretty sure its quite blatant how found you must be now. The whole concept of this thing actually makes me giddy, I've had dreams somewhat like this, its rather creepy with a nice hint of irony for good measure. As usual your flawless flow and vocabulary got me and you've outdone yourself with your talent in weaving the most magnificent of plots. You my friend, are a genius.

Say hello to Mr. Dickens when you reach writers heaven for me?

<3

When I find the time I shall eye fuck the shit out of this story.

Ooh, the story looks really good so far! I like the idea and it's very suspenseful. I'm a little confused about Dahlia though; is she trying to prove Sebastian exists or to protect his secret? (the overview and Ch1 contradicts each other?)

Great work!!!