The Girl Who Couldn't Feel - Comments

Good job!!! Keep up the good work you're doing great!!1

I love how this story keeps you guessing. Some authors kind of throw everything out there so you know exactly what is going on, but I like how you don't do that. I'm curious as to who Bunny is. Her sister that died in a fight and Marie failed to protect her? And I like how everyone seems to collaborate against her by not telling her about her past and she thinks everything's her fault. And I feel as if Candy is her gaurdian angel or her mother reencarnated. I don't know if that's what you're going for, but I like it.

Your writing get better and better, maybe you just have a talent for writing. But if were to rate any of these chapter from one to ten, ten being the best and one being the worse i would rate this as a 10 and post as best story on mibba ever. I usually don't like story that makes me feel so down because of the emotion, but i somehow seem to always be attracted to this story no matter which direction in goes in now. I hope you made it a happy ending (or at least have Marie alive at the end). I also like that for your status, you put when you are going to update next. Keep Writing

Oh, MARIE!!!!!!

I'm slightly confused as to why she's hiding herself away. If I gathered it correctly, she has decided that she doesn't like who she had become because of Jayden? And that she is guilty of some crime she is unaware of and deserves to live out her punishment and let her two friends be happy as well? That's what I'm thinking, but I'm not 100% sure.

I loved the "date" that they went on!!! it was so cute!!! Hope to see more soon!!!

Although you didn't update this story in a long time i did not lose interest when I read the following chapter. That mean this story i really good so please update

I love this story! It's so beautifully subtle, I love it ♥
When Marie was thinking about how she hoped Jaden would understand how happy she was and then he goes "Don't worry, I know. Candy taught me." I was just like *squeaaaaaaal* he's so perfect! I love a lot of the subtleties you use. You imply a lot of things really well without saying them. I never do that because I'm afraid my readers won't pick up on it. But I love how you use them :)

I loved the last chapter it was so GREAT!!! Can't wait to read more!!!

The title grabbed me first.
The first chapter definitely reeled me in.
Your writing style is compelling and almost poetic.
The simpleness combined with the action...this is a great read.
I love your characters. They're so real and I can find myself relating to them somehow even though I'm nothing like them.
This story has great potential and you are a great writer.
:)

So, this has been a really nice read, I'm only on chapter two but your descriptions are absolutely amazing. I'm subscribing and definitely going to finish reading this soon! I really do like it.

You, my dear, have another subscriber <3

I just read the first 3 chapters and I'm off to read more. I like this so much that I'm probably going to catch up entirely in one sitting. Great story :] I like the depressing brutality of it... which sounds weird, but whatever xD

The title actually got me fairly interested in the story. The summary sounds like something I’ve read before… I think I’ve actually stumbled across your story before, not sure though. Anyway, I’m only reading the first chapter for now because I’m doing a ton of other things, but if I like, I’ll subscribe and read the rest later.

This story seems pretty interesting so far, I may subscribe to read more later. There were small errors, but just one’s we all make from time to time. The chapter didn’t bore me at all like most stories on mibba did. This story sounds promising, it could be fairly interesting.

Amazing truley amazing i mean best story ever!

I really like this idea, and I like how you're writing it. I didn't have the time to get very far cuz of my laundry, but I'm definetly going to read more of it when I have the time.

alot of people blame themselves for things beyond their own control, which i can feel reflected in this. There's a real sense of claustraphobia, even from the start:
"I’m in a box. It’s so small."

As a claustraphobic, I thought it was a wonderful touch

Ever since I read your journal about this story, I have been reading it. I literally skipped dinner to read this; I like it that much. This is one of those stories that makes me mad because I don't think its fair. It deserve to be TEN STARS! Unlike a lot of the ten star stories here, this story is WONDERFUL.

I absolutely adore the characters you've created. Marie is a very interesting character and I love her sence of no feelings. Finding out her "parents" were really her aunt and uncle really surprised me and all her flashbacks have me wondering what this girl's about and what she can't remember that no one will tell her. I also love Jaden, even though he can't see what's in front of him with the issues with the family Marie has to be part of. Except Candy I love her <33 the image of cuteness and innocence. Tammy is also a cool character because she does so much to help her friend even though she never ends up spending as much time with her other friends. I love that; she's so kind.

A few times I was hoping she'd run away, because I wanted to see what happens. Who would miss her, who'd go after her, all that. But all the cute scenes with Jaden make my other side squeal "nnoooo don't runaway! stay with him ^-^" hahaha

But I really wanna know who the mysterious girl is that she can't remember! At first I thought she was an older sister, but then I began thinking that maybe it was someone who fought with Tammy and Marie, because I remember you saying around the beginning chapters that she looked 12 and that's when Marie and Tammy stopped fighting. So maybe she died? (see, my brain is working over time xD)

Hmm lesse.... I dislike Kate, but that she be obvious. I want to see more of Parker too!! He seems like a great character (: and... back in the beginning with Candy saying Marie smiles a lot to her even though she's not technically smiling, then with the latest chapter with Jaden saying "Don't worry, I know. Candy taught me." (referring to her not smiling but she was happy) I thought that was really cute.

Took me awhile but I wanted to read it all so baaad @.@ and I wanted to give out the longest comment because your story truly deserves it. Seriously, I love this; it's thousands times better than a lot I've read recently on here. Just wanted you to know that (:

Update soon!!! And if it isn't already apart, I've subscribed ;)

I like this so far, however there are a bunch of spelling and grammar mistakes so you might want to consider getting a beta for this, they help a lot XD Anyway I really enjoyed reading this. I didn't think I would like it at first, but you pulled me in with Marie's emotions (which seems contradictory to the storyline, but it's still true XD ) Your writing is pretty decent and the plot so far is intriguing (sp?). I just have one question, why did Jaden come to live with them? That's the only thing I was confused about. You're doing a really good job with this, keep it up :)

(And sorry this comment took so long)

i like this title, it makes me interested in what it's about
Kind of an intense beginging for sure, she's in this box
and she's about to go crazy from being in it.
and in the end, she figures out she put herself there
kind of an eerie dream if you ask me, glad I don't have crap like that
It makes me feel bad for her, her mind must be pretty messed up
Dang, why is she so beat up? like her ribs are burised...
oh they hurt because her parents work her too hard, that's sad :(
her parents honestly seem like complete assholes
Gosh, her life is not good at all! I feel bad for her
she seems like a real sweetheart from what I've read so far
I relaly liked this, it's a good idea. and i have a feeling this "boy"
is going to have a big effect on her life ;)

Just a little thing. If Mother and Father are proper nouns, they should always be capitalized.

This has a lot of promise, truly. It just seems slightly technical to me. It's a difficult process balancing first person narration and not over-dramatizing and I think maybe you went a little too far in trying not to make it overemotional.

I definitely get that the point of this is about the girl not feeling, but it still could read less technical.

What I really like was this is supposed to be about a girl who can't feel, but she clearly does, as is seen when she's confused about her boyfriend is apologizing. (I think he's her boyfriend.)

I like how proper and bullshitty the parents are and then they're just... assholes. Such a clever guise.