Blood Pleasure - Comments

This is great!

-Gives you Teddy Bear Hug-
Happy belated Valentines day!
I hope you had a good one aha
So let's get to your full review of
This beautiful little story
Sorry it took me so long
Had a line waiting >.<

When seeing the layout on the computer, the dark font against the dark background hurt my eyes, but now transferred on my phone, it looks fine. I just think it's because it's my iPhone. The layout usually brings me into a story. But if this was something I found interest in, I would probably lose it because of the layout itself. Also, the copyright seems a bit extreme. I usually just put insert username {copyright symbol} 2013

The first chapter was very intense. You have a very intriguing way of writing and I absolutely love it. Though I'm not into these types of stories, this really has me at the edge of my seat. I adore it really.

I hate to complain but for me the moving red background tripped me out so I used the default layout. I wouldn't worry about that because it's your layout. But I felt the dark lettering was too hard to read- for me. As for the story I really enjoyed the first two chapters I read, your writing flows smoothly and I didn't notice any spelling mistakes. This is a really good piece and I really liked it.

I love all the lovey dovey stuff personally, I find it really cute!

Yeah, so I read the whole thing in one day! A little disappointed - the story is lacking plot... it’s like I’m waiting for something to happen—and it doesn’t. Sooooo, make some drama happen! Alsoooo, I find your sex scenes too clean xD (especially with all the warnings you put in the summary lol). As a reader, I need some more action and twits, and trim down the lovey dovey.

awwww now you made me blush >///< and I can't help but be a fan to such a great story! Can't wait for the next update :)

Comment swap!

This isn't really my cup of tea, so to speak, but that's why I'm here; to broaden my horizons.
Anyways, the story seems solid from what I read, with good character description. Not too much detail as to bore, but enough to satisfy me.
Good job, keep writing!

Urgh so good but so short!!!! I wanna know what happens next! Pleaseeee update pretty pretty please

Hi, I'm here from Comment Swap! I read the first few chapters of your story, and it's not really in my personal interest, but by what I read you're doing a great job! I love the details, but I don't like the moving background hahah. It's very original, and I did enjoy what I read! I may come back and read more if I'm not too busy in the future! Keep up the good work! :)

This is really well written! I love how you describe things and the detail you put into your writing. Although your background image for the layout is a bit distracting, everything else about it is absolutely flawless. You do such a good job with this, you should definitely continue c:

This is pretty freaking epic, when i first started reading i really wasn't sure if i'd be able to get into it but wow. Really like memorizing and enticing. You're an amazing author! I read this like so quickly and never thought man when does this end. :)

Mafia/vampire, I mean just from that point I was in love with the story. I thought I would make this comment at the 11th bullet which I just started reading because I just want to get my emotions out right now. The complexity of Raven and Marian's relationship is really refreshing and just a nice way to get lost in thought for some time. The main reason I wanted to write this comment at bullet 11 was because of Mayra's feelings toward Raven. Alright I'll just come out and say it... that was... unexpected. Well, I wouldn't say that it was truly the grossest thing in this book given the fact that you are going for a record with the number of times you have written rape. I'm really not trying to be offensive please, please, please don't think that I am being mean right now. I actually truly love this story. I think that the plot and all is enthralling and I have been enchanted by your use of words. (BTW Where did the name Mayra come from? I swear that is a friggin awesome name.) The one thing that I may suggest that you do is proof read. There are a few words missing and mind boggling jumps between tenses that kind of make the story feel like being in the car with a driver who only knows how to press down firmly on the breaks and gas. The jumps between tenses has given me whip-lash :P... I kid, I kid. Seriously though, you may want to check that out. All in all I give this story 10 vampire fangs out of 10 vampire fangs. Keep writing, meanwhile, this is me standing up and this is me lying down. (Needed to throw the Supernatural quote in there... I haven't been able to stop thinking about that show since I read the word vampire.) Back to reading... I will subscribe and recommend now. You got a great imagination, keep putting it to use seriously I need to be entertained somehow. (Not in the way Lestat would be entertained.)

Hello, I was brought here from comment swap. (: I must admit my eyes took a while to adjust to the layout. I loveeeee a good vampire story so I will be recommending this and subscribing. The romance in your story is also appealing I found it appropriate for the nature of vampires. Please continue to update! I'm looking forward to reading more! C:

First off, I guess I should start off by saying that I'm from comment swap. Second, I love that plot that you have. I have to agree with some of the comments below me, vampires and the mafia make for one very interesting story and interesting it is. One thing I have to say about the content is that it could use a little bit more detail. I feel as though you kind of just stated things, instead of describing them.

Something I really liked about your story are the names of the characters. They are very unique and it makes the story a little more interesting. As well with you layout, which is really nice looking. It suits the mood of the story and you can tell what kind of story it's gonna be by looking at the layout. Dark and mysterious.

Hey there,
I’m here from comment swap. I read up to the fifth chapter when I decided that I should leave you a comment. First and foremost, I had no idea the background was animated. That was really cool! Now to the story, I really enjoyed reading the opening chapter, you really set the mood for it all and introduced the characters really well. In the second chapter, I found Raven incredibly cruel. The way he took pleasure in harming Marian was so disturbing to read. You portrayed his character really well in that way. Also, I really liked the plot. It’s interesting and very different from the usual stories that I read here on Mibba! You got a fantastic story here and I didn't notice that much hiccups either so that made it even better. Keep up the awesome writing!

Comment swap (mind, that this is just an opinion)

Title:
The title definitely makes me laugh and smile. Maybe it's because i know immediately that it's going to be a full sex story. Even the picture says so without having to read the summary.

Brownie point because you manage to fit all of your story in 3 word title. I definitely love it because it's entertaining to read and attracts me very much. The font is also unique, somewhat like Vampire Diaries font.

Story:
The title maybe a vampire diaries one, but not the story. The sex is definitely true blood and other soft porn. I must say that i love it and i wish you all the best for your story. And this is the first story that i manage to finish. I think that you have a good potential because i can only spot some small grammar mistake.

Layout:
As for the layout, i am definitely not too keen with it. I dislike black layout mix with red writing text because it just hurts my eye. Although i will give you a brownie point for the moving lines on the side (it's cool).

Honestly, I probably never would have read this story if Comment Swap hadn't brought me here, but I'm glad it did. Your story is quite interesting, but there are a few things you need to work on. First, I had a very difficult time reading because of the darkness of your layout. I don't know if I just have bad eyes or what, but I found it incredibly hard to read. Also, the moving part of the background was extremely distracting, but again, that may just be me. The last thing I noticed was that you switch from present to past tense a lot and it distracted me from the content because I was trying to piece together what tense it should be in. Other than that, I think you have a very interesting story!

I wanna see some Lestat action. :P

I wanna see some Lestat action. :P

Hi there! Here from comment swap :) recognized your username and realized your a very regular reader of my stories, the Desirably Hateful series, Assumptions, etc. and I was feeling awful about never returning the favor. Well now here's my opportunity! So thank you comment swap.

Okay, let's get started. Your layout was quite... dark. Not to say that there's anything wrong with that, but it was very hard for me to read! Also, as for your title I think it might add more dynamic if you took the sweet and the ! out of the title, so it'd just be Blood Pleasure. It's such a creative title and thought but the sweet and ! takes away any mystery or anything that would draw me in. Your writing is okay, but sometimes it lacks a flow and gets a bit jumbled or bare. Just work on showing and not telling, creating a good flow while still using description and imagery, along with a little mystery. And your plot is done so well! I love your perception of the vampire world and mafia! Very creative.
Such a pleasure to read your story! 
Thanks :)