Creep - Comments

<3

This is amazing.

Wow dude wow thats good and creepy but good though.

Nice story. I like the way you describe things, and it flows fairly well. May I suggest using '—' instead of '-' just to make it look a little cleaner and prettier on the eyes? Normally you use '-' to connect words, like ill-minded, or something. And the '—' is used like, "Daniel was annoyed—so very annoyed," or something. Bad example; I know.

Also, in chapter three you used the wrong "they're". You typed "Their so pretty- I never want to lose them." It should be "They're so pretty—I never want to lose them." Also, you typed "the boy is sat down". Shouldn't it be "the boy sat down"?

The sentence that sort of confused me was "hurt is so enticing on young skin." I get that this is supposed to be deep, but I'm having trouble figuring out what exactly you meant with that.

Aside from that, I like the direction it's going in. I'll read more!

I can't wait 'till the main character meets him, actually talks to him. I love this and the way you describe things. (:

I absolutely love the description and word choice. They flow together beautifully to create this almost scary, haunting feeling. I'd really love to read more soon. Definitely subscribing.

Wow. Just wow. That was only a few paragraphs, but it really touched me. The weird, almost creepy way you describe this person made my skin crawl with a weird delight. I struggle with the same thing this person is going through. I look in the mirror. I either hate or love what I see. But, I think the person I see isn't real, like they aren't there at all. Really good. I love this. Please keep going.

Also, comment virginity taken :P!

xoxo
-Cellophane Imploder