Marvel Her Beauty - Comments

Comment Swap!

Well, first, I'm not a big X-Men fan, so a lot of this was just kind of o_o *wut*.

Also, the layout kind of makes me want to claw my eyes out. I love the red background, but what's with the bright pink textbox? It makes it difficult to read and doesn't match ~at all~.

As for the actual story, not too bad. I'd like to see commas where they belong-- which makes me laugh, because in your author's note, you apologize of excess commas, while there was actually a severe LACK of them-- and you need to use the subjunctive (it should be 'She wished it WERE just the volume of his voice...), but it wasn't glaringly bad. Also, make sure you're separating clauses and phrases properly as to not confuse your reader. Remember, semicolons are your friends. ^_^

Overall, well done! <3

Comment swap.
I didn't see anything wrong with this no grammar, spelling, or anything in general. It was a nice change. I think your idea for this story is unique and original. Good for you! I've never read anything like this anywhere and I'm glad that comment swap brought me to it. I really enjoyed reading it, and can't wait to continue to read more of it. Update :)

Comment swap.
I didn't see anything wrong with this no grammar, spelling, or anything in general. It was a nice change. I think your idea for this story is unique and original. Good for you! I've never read anything like this anywhere and I'm glad that comment swap brought me to it. I really enjoyed reading it, and can't wait to continue to read more of it. Update :)

Comment Swap :)
i don't usually read movie-based fan fiction or any fan fiction besides band-related fan fiction.
anyway, i read the first chapters and i must say i'm quite impressed. i failed to see any grammatical errors, if there are maybe it's because of my lack of sleep, ANYWAY, good job on this story. i really enjoyed it :)

* Another Comment Swap ? * Yes, I know I've already comment, but I read again! (Nothing better to do.) I honestly cannot wait for more, ah!

Wow, an x-men story! I've never seen nor read one before, so this was refreshing.

I was immediately taken in when you said humans haven't walked the earth for quite some time. Maybe that's an x-men thing, but either way it was very new and exciting for me to read. A great way to start off.

It's cute how her name matches her hair. I always enjoy little quirks like that because parents/people really do name their children/match their names.

Overall, very nice. I didn't see any grammatical errors and your writing is very wonderful. You balance out description with action wonderfully! It was a pleasure reading.

& I've, for sure recommended (:

*Comment Swap!*
Oh wow! A X-Man story! I was so happy when I saw this come! I have been wanting to get involved with that part of Marvel for the longest time. YAY! Anyways, I loved the fic. I think it's really pretty awesome, and very interesting, for sure! It's different. Which I love. I love the way you write it's very easy going, and paces it's self very well. :) Keep doing a great job. :)

From comment swap. I didn't even realize there were X-men stories and I'm really happy this came up because I looooove X-men and I'm kind of a comment book nerd. I didn't really finish it all yet because its almost 8 in the morning and I haven't slept yet but I'm defiantly intrigued. You're writing flows so smoothly and your imagery is amazing. Once I get some sleep I will gladly read more. Great job :)

Comment Swap_
I've never read a X-men fic, infact im not familiar with it at all. I read a bit of chapter one and I'm pretty impressed. Your writing flows so easy making it enjoyable to read. No typos, grammar or spelling mistakes. Or atleast I couldn't find them because I have not slept in three days. It's very detailed and paints a picture and I could imagine myself watching it. It's great, good job.

I don't normally read X-Men fics, and to tell you the truth I'm not even a big fan of it. Putting that aside, I thought that you have a very talented writing skill and that your word choice was good as well.

I've never really read any of the X-men comics or anything, but I have seen the movies and the tv shows. I really like how well written and detailed this story is. There's a lot of action that draws the reader in, and it's hard to do that sometimes. Overall, great job!! :)

Comment swap;;

Well, for starters you have a good start. It's very detailed and I am a sucker for the X-men. I really like how you began, it captured my attention and it did pull me in. The only thing that I see is odd is the layout, I'm not a big fan of it, I think the pink kind of clashes, but either than that you are on top :D

Comment swap;

Hey! Alright so, I just wanted to say that I thought your introduction to the story was good - it drew me in and wanted me to read more. So that’s a good thing :) But, as with the little mistakes already addressed below, I find this kind of story alluring - the story plot seems pretty approachable and reasonable :) Also, I can see a lot of potential in this story. Keep in mind that although people may find mistakes with your story - that this story, this website, was made for enjoyment for the reader AND the writer :) So keep your passion for writing this story up and I’m sure you’ll improve along the way :)

x

I'm going to have to agree with YourHersheyKiss about the first sentence, but the whole first paragraph. It should have less commas, and the sentences need to make a little more sense, add more detail, and there should actually be more commas, but in the correct places, (EXAMPLE: 'Instead,') I don't mean to discourage you from writing at all, but I couldn't read through it all, there seems to be a lot of 'fluff and stuff' basically things that don't really matter. Continue the story though! Writing takes practice, and I don't find myself to be amazing yet anyway.

So I’m not a huge fan of these but the comment swap has led me here. The first sentence in the first chapter is rather long. For people who are into the superhero thing they might like this. The idea is a great one. Sadly I don’t feel like your writing flows as well as it could.

I like the story content. You used good grammar but the only problem was the back ground and the banner. I didn't really think they fit the story. I'm not a huge fan of x men but they're okay. But yeah. I got here because of the comment swap feature.

I really like this, I was a fan of the cartoon and X men world class is my favourite out of the films. Your writing mostly flows really well and you have lots of description which is always good. I really like this alternate reality type thing, it's very interesting! Whenever I read Xavier talking, I hear James McAvoy which is awesome haha I'll be subscribing, I want to read more :)

Ooh, an X-men story! I'm a sucker for superhero/mutant/avengers stories (love your username by the way). I read the first few chapters, and I like where you're going with it. You're very good at describing actions and the imagery is really clear. I do have a pet peeve for run-on sentences and grammar issues, but I'm really picky. Your paragraphs are kind of like giant sentences, so that's something you'll want to be careful of. Other than that, this is very well written. The layout is unexpectedly interesting, if that makes any sense. It's cool, I like it :) Nice work, I hope you keep writing!

I'm not an X-Men fan, but I liked how you added a lot of action in the beginning. It's a good way to engage the reader right off the bat and make them want to continue reading.

The only criticism is there is at least one misspelling (you forgot to put the "e" in "orange"), and I agree with the below comment. It's important to know where to use commas and where to use periods. It's nothing major, and your story is certainly still readable.

Overall, I think it's engaging, and well- written. Job well done and good luck in your future writing!