Blind Photographs - Comments

Comment Swap here! I don't usually read Killjoy stories but this one is really well-written. You lay the scene out excellently and you make it so you don't really have to know a lot about where the story is coming from to understand what's going on. Keep up the good work!

Hey I'm here because of Comment Swap I think this is a really neat idea for a story, I think it's a really good story! Well done! The sequal looks good too! I'm definitely going to recommend this! I hope you keep up your writing.

Hey I'm here because of Comment Swap I think this is a really neat idea for a story, I think it's a really good story! Well done! The sequal looks good too!

Wow. This is incredibly well written. I'm from the comment swap, and although I'm not normally a reader of Killjoy stories, this is well, amazing. I love the amount of detail you put into it and I found it funny how they were contemplating poking the protagonist. Keep up the good work!

Yes! Finally another Killjoy story for the comment swap!
Okay, so far I've only read the first chapter. Here's some of my favorite parts:

“You think it’s dead?”

“Maybe, Jet, poke it.”

“You poke it! If that thing’s alive, enemy or not it’s going to be pissed.”

I laughed so hard at this part. I loved some comedy in Killjoy stories, it lightens the mood when things are tense.

“Of course I’ve been out here.” Lie.
“I’m so tough, I could take on anything that stupid tower could throw at me.” Lie.
“I even got three dracs before I set up here.” Total utter and complete lies.

I think what I liked about this part is the fact that I'd probably do the exact same. I would lie and try to act all big and bad when I really wasn't.

“Ones who want to kill me outright, and ones, like you, who say you’re friends and then shoot a beam into my back.”

This was an awesome line and a great way to end the first chapter.

Great work!!!

I really like the summary... Like, it seriously made me want to read the story. Also, the title was a really good choice, because it described the story in a way I haven't seen many Mibba users do before. If you know what I mean. I only read the first chapter, and I really like it!!!

I found this story during comment swap and the first chapter was so confusing that I wasn't able to get into this. I am not a huge fan of My Chemical Romance either but I hope you keep up writing and that you stick with your idea.

I got this with my comment swap as well and I'm not really a fan of My Chemical Romance so I wasn't really following it too much until about chapter 4 and it got a bit clearer for me and I enjoyed it and I'm deciding if I'm going to read the sequel or not but good story :)

I got this on my comment swap. And I was slightly nervous about getting this. But I really enjoyed it. And I really love my chemical Romance. It was written really well and was very glad to get this as my comment swap:)

So I was at first nervous when this came up on my comment swap. I have never read a KillJoy story and am not really a faan of my chemical romance. I just finished reading and I cant believe I was so annoyed in the begining. I thought it was fantastic. It was a bit hard in the begining when I didnt understand who was saying what dialogue, but I pushed through and saw well developed the characters were. I'm gonna stop babbling now and read the sequel. SO happy comment swap showed me this(:

Thanks to comment swap, I was brought to this story. I got confused at the beginning just because I couldn't focus then I could and became interested in it. I really thought you wrote it well and I was sad it ended then I saw you had a sequel and I'm about to go look at that. You did such a great job with this. I enjoyed it. I'll recommend it. <3

Why hello there. It's comment swap time. haha I really liked the concept of this story. A pretty interesting take on characters. And even better because I'm assuming this Radio is an alter ego or something. That's something I'd never thought about and I'm annoyed I didn't. (A true sign on an art student, I suppose. haha)

My only problem is addressed by the commenter below me. It's hard to follow when you don't know who's talking or what exactly is going on in the dialogue. More than once I was confused on who was talking to who. It's a minor thing that can be fixed by going through and reading it allowed. I've found that helps me a lot.

Other than that minor thing, this story's coming along fine. Flesh out the characters and it'll be even better. Happy writing!

So I'm going to be honest. I only read the first chapter. I think it might help you with writing dialogue if you read this.

Just a few things I'll point out and maybe you can fix:

"It didn't help that they named themselves after villains, either." You don't need the comma there.

"Shut up.” I moaned, dragging my jacket over my head. After "Shut up" you do need a comma. Again reading the tutorial on how to write dialogue can help you with that.

“Holy- what’s wrong with you? Are you hurt? We’ve got a doctor,” Because you don't have any "he said" or "she said" after the comma should be a period.

Just a few things I thought I'd point out. This really does seem like it has a good story line though.

I have to admit, I am a MCR fan at heart, but I haven't followed their new album all that much, which left me extremely confused as to how this story works. Even so, the way you write is very good. You (thankfully) have very good grammar and know the story structure. And MCR forever <3

"You poke it!"
Lol loved that, even if it wasn't supposed to be funny c:
I'm not too into MCR but didn't need that to help me understand your writing.i like how there were not really any grammatical errors in it, and the layout was decent. Keep up the good work.

I truly never see anymore My Chemical Romance fan fictions anymore. So of course I was more than happy to read this. I was only able to read one chapter so far, but I'll go ahead and comment. I think the plot line is a good one, which I can tell you developed as with the characters. I intend on reading the rest and look forward to your sequel.

"They were old as sin and too big, but they kept the world clear to me."
I really love this quote. It really gives you an idea for your character's personality. This is the second time I've been selected to read a KillJoy fanfic and now I'm starting to kind of understand! :D I had to do a little research of my own, but I'm glad that I am discovering new material.

Your humor is really refreshing :) I think that the story has serious undertones, but then you lace it with these great bits of humor "The closest I'd gotten to killing anything was throwing my boot at cockroaches. Even then, I missed and they scuttled away, totally fine. Back to their stupid little cockroach families. I almost let myself get visibly angry, but that would've been stupid. No one should ever be jealous of the cockroaches." Love love loved that bit. Seriously.

I really do like your writing style as well. I keep thinking in my head "Gah! I wish I had a better way to explain what I mean!" It just feels so realistic and I love the mystery that you have kept in the story as well. The dialogue flows and speaks as I would imagine someone in those situations might react. Again, I wish I could explain better. What is wrong with me.

Okay. This is my first KillJoy story. And I loved it. You did a great job with it. I loved how you had Dr. D explain God and Priests. It intrigued me. Mostly cause it was one thing I wouldn't expect to see in an MCR related story. It makes me a little sad that this story is already finished. If it wasn't I would've have returned for more, promise. :)

So this is probably my third MCR "killjoy"story so far and I have to wonder i have never read them before (I should start that's for sure). The descriptions were decent probably since ts only the first chapter. I do like the simpleness of the background and how she met the guys. Can't wait to continue reading this.

Hello! Well here’s another comment swapper! I really enjoyed this story. The conception of this book was quite remarkable and the plot was well detailed and overall it was just a great idea for a story. Then again, I love the Killjoys so anything that involves them is a good idea for a story :P There were some parts in which I wasn’t totally clear about, and sometimes the chapters felt like little short stories instead of one book. Nonetheless, it was a great read and if it wasn’t completed I would have definitely subscribed. (: