Blind Photographs - Comments

This isn't the type of story I usually read, so I was a little apprehensive at first, but I think you did a good job with the writing.
There were a few things that were confusing to me, like the parts about Batman and the killjoy name thing, but that may just be because I'm not familiar with the fandom.
I think you did a good job with the writing, though!

It's not my kind of story so I was a bit dubious, it's a nice change from the stuff i usually read. i think in places there was a lack of description. The layout of the dialogue could have been more spaced out and also i think the structure wasn't perfect. overall i liked the plot and the characterisation.

It's not my kind of story so I was a bit dubious, it's a nice change from the stuff i usually read. i think in places there was a lack of description. The layout of the dialogue could have been more spaced out and also i think the structure wasn't perfect. overall i liked the plot and the characterisation.

Hey. I like this. But It's a little confusing with the "people" that she's talking to in her head. And also, I'm not a big fan of adding Batman stuff in there. The genre's clash too much. I think you're a pretty good writer. Besides the voices in her head, it's pretty easy to read. Just make sure you you space your paragraphs. When people are reading, that kind of throws them off. Also, add in some more description because it's kind of bland right now. I barely know where they are or what they're doing.

Overall, you're a good writer. Just spend some more time on it.

This is definitely not my type of story, so i was a little put off at the Batman references. But, it is a well-written story. However, you have some punctuation errors and some other writing errors. Make sure that you keep your paragraphs spaced evenly. Each time a new person begins dialogue, you need to start a new paragraph, and you've done a good job of keeping them separate but it seems your other paragraphs have an extra space between them, so you should leave an extra space between the dialogue as well.

This is a GREAT story, for real; I love how you portray Photo, and I think my favorite Fun Ghoul moment was when he was laughing and saying that she had to go kiss Poison or something..xD I enjoy the idea of the the other personality of sorts in her brain. I do think that you should use a bit more description; maybe take more time to lay out the scene and help the reader to picture it at a greater level. But apart from that, I love the story and I'll look into further chapters for sure :) Also, nice to see a My Chemical Romance story that doesn't involve overly Frerard-like themes...x'D Keep running, Killjoy. XX

huh- with the harley and the joker thing, i'm wondering if those are batman references? your first paragraph sets up an interesting character without knowing much abotu her; you can sort of tell that she's unafraid to get away from situations she's not comfortable in and that she'll bite back if you mess with her.

i love how she lies to make herself a bit more badass. she wants them to just get away from her and you convey that wonderfully. i'm curious to see how the title plays into the story, and i can't wait to see more of my chem in the story.

bahaha, her name is bat! gotham! so many bataman references! i love it. gracie's her sister? ah! i'm so curious to see what'll happen from here, seriously! i'll be coming back soon to read the rest :) good plot, but the yellow in your layout burns the eyes just a touch ;)

This is an amazing action story that reads like an old episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You are very good at your genre, not overly explaining things and letting the reader get the idea themselves. The world you’ve created makes sense and feels as post apocalyptic as the latest video game. The characters are gritty and nor overly dramatic. She isn’t a bitch just to be one, her problems are real and her history believable. It’s refreshing to see MCR as individual people instead of just the band in you writing as well. I didn’t want the last chapter to end and I craving for you next update. Consider this story recommended and subscribed to.

I just started listening to MCR a few weeks ago and I just fell in love! I love the ominous feel of this story, it's beautifully written. I think this story has really good potential, and I'm really curious to see what direction you take it in. Update soon!

Even though I'm not much of a My Chemical Romance person, I enjoyed it. However, if I was, I probably would have understood the story more (hopefully), and would have enjoyed it that much more. I like how the story is going, though. Good luck with the rest of it! (:

I'm not all too familiar with My Chemical Romance, I do believe that you described the details in such a way this story would be interesting to anyone who wanted to read it. However, since you bring so many characters to life so quickly, it might confuse other readers. The layout is simple, which I love. However, it doesn't really convey the mood of the story.
Good luck with the rest of the story, love! :) x

I don't listen to My Chemical Romance --not really my scene-- but I really love this story! the plot was interesting, and it pulled me in. the only thing I would work on is keeping things clear (like your first chapter title! ha!). at some points, to me at least, things can get a little confusing, what with so many people in the story. but I still like it, that's the only thing i would work on! another thing: I actually like the layout of the story, haha. great story, keep up the good work! :-)

I'm not all too familiar with My Chemical Romance, I do believe that you described the details in such a way this story would be interesting to anyone who wanted to read it. However, since you bring so many characters to life so quickly, it might confuse other readers. The layout is simple, which I love. However, it doesn't really convey the mood of the story.
Good luck with the rest of the story, love! :) x

This is a very interesting story. It's different from what I usually read but good nonetheless. The plot is different and I like that aspect. But I must agree with some of the other comments- The background doesn't really match the mood but I do like it. Keep up the good writing! :)

The plot of the story is really interesting.
I think my biggest complaint is the lack of description. There were so many characters being introduced that I would suggest expanding on their descriptions so there is an "identifier" for each character. That makes it easier for readers to remember who they are.
I would also suggest using a background that conveys the mood of the story. I feel it's a darker mood and the yellow background doesn't do it justice. Less important, try spacing out paragraphs and making chapters a little longer. It'll be more appealing to the eye (and readers).
Keep writing(:

This is a very captivating story and is something that I haven't read before. I am not familiar with My Chemical Romance but this seems like a great original piece. I think the lay out is pretty cool but a little too bright, but still pretty. This is a lovely story and can not wait to see what other great story's you have written. :)

Great story, very well done I really like it, great plot line rather original unlike other things i’ve read before, though I didn't like the bright background on the layout but that's my personal taste. Can’t wait to read more stories’ that you have written. You’re a fantastic writer.

Very interesting story indeed! I think that the story has progressed well, but if there is one thing I would critique, it would be the the layout of the text. It's a lot easier for people to read stories if there is a blank line between paragraphs and conversations. It makes the story look a lot more appealing.

Good job!

Definitely an interesting story, though not really my cup of tea. I'm not very familiar with My Chemical Romance, so I'm not sure who they are. I think the layout has too many bright colors, but that's just for my taste. I really enjoyed the story; keep up the good work!