Loverboy - Comments

I'm not really familiar with band fics, or this band for that matter. But I really enjoyed reading this story! I love the name Gemma; you don't get that in very many stories. I also think this story and plot is very cute. Please update soon and keep up the good work!

Nice story. Quite interesting. And I love the name Gemma!

I had no idea who The Wanted was, and when I YouTubed them, I was delighted to know they were behind Glad You Came. Anyways, that's not why I'm here. I liked how I didn't have to know who this band was to enjoy the story, usually that is a problem, and has made me extremely picky with what I read on writing sites. I had a few good laughs with this story- you're great at adding humor into your writing, I find a lot of authors I've read on here have trouble with that. I love how you portray the modeling world, not many people are willing to do that
Just a few tips
I would describe their outfits rather than sending the reader to look at pictures.
You use character names a lot rather than pronouns, I think the story would flow better if you used some more than you do.

But I loved this, great job!!

Comment Swap

Im not really into to The Wanted and really didnt think i could get into the story. but it really didnt matter at the end. its a really good beginning and you don't have to know the members of the band to get the story (which is something alot of people forget when their writing fan fictions.) the dialoge is realtic and so are the characters.

good luck on your story and I hope my comment inspired you to keep writing (you really should!)

I was sent here from Comment Swap and I'm so glad I did. I've known about The Wanted for a while, but never really pursued them. After reading the summary and first chapter I looked them up. I thank you for that c: I love the layout, it's really cute. The background is lovely. I really like the way you write, you're a good writer. You describe the way Gemma feels very well. I'm only on chapter one, but this story is lookin' good. Update soon please c:

I had never heard of "The Wanted" before so when I began reading and saw that they were British-Irish I went "Ooooh..." and decided to look them up. THEN I realized that they performed on the Ellen Degeneres show a looong time ago. Haha, funny how that works out.

Your writing is pretty good :) I don't know much about the band, as described above, but I like the dialogue between the characters. I would suggest putting some more details in between just to break it up a bit, though :)

One last thing, which really isn't a terribly big deal but I still figured I would point out, your layout makes it a bit difficult to read without straining my eyes, which is a shame because I realize how much effort is put into making one. I think having a darker font color would do wonders! Cheers!

Found this thru comment swap. I like the story so far, not really surewho The Wanted are but it seems like a great story. :)

The is a comment swap, so its basically revolving around the first chapter. I'm not sure who The Wanted is, but based on just the first chapter, it gives me a pretty good idea. I liked the length of the paragraphs and the length of the chapter. Pretty layout too [:

Since this is for comment swap, this comment will be focusing only on the first chapter.

Though I really adored the way that you incorporated the subtle gestures of each of the characters and used them to mirror the characters’ emotions, I did feel like the first few paragraphs of this opening chapter felt very much like an info dump, and I would’ve enjoyed it more if you wove in that information instead of stating it outfront. I also really enjoyed the set-up and premise of this fic. Although I feel it’s a bit overused, I thought you did an amazing job of executing it. Another thing I found myself wishing for as I got into the end of this chapter was more of a balance between dialogue and narration. While the first half of this chapter is very description-heavy, the second half is almost solely dialogue, and I feel like that interrupted the flow.

Comment swap brought me here. This is a great beginning, and a wonderful story so far. I like the way you write. The fan fic is well written and detailed. You have a great way with writing. So keep up the great work! The layout is beautiful as well!

Aw omg this update was fab.
Nathan and Gemm seem to slowly but surely be gettingclose to one another. I feel bad for Gemma and take back what I said about disliking her. She was strong enough to get better and she'sstarting over. Good for her!
Update soon! :)

Yay! New chapter. Ok, I actually really do enjoy this and I love watching things unfold between Nathan and Gemma. They seem almost too perfect for each other! Hopefully Gemma changes her mind about Nathan soon! He seems genuinely upset by her attention toward William.

Definitely not a fan of The Wanted, they're the opposite of my music taste, but oddly enough I quite enjoyed reading this....pretty sure there was a wee giggle or two in there.
You've got a great sense of suspense and you've clearly got tabs on your narrative which is a good thing. Don't want to be making it up as you go along with no idea of where it's going.
Although I wouldn't read this of my own accord, I'm glad comment swap brought me here because it's god incredible foundations for an awesome fic. Six chapters in an it's amazing already. Surely it can only get better.
Well done, you've got something great going here :)
~Jack's Creativity

Nice job on this so far! I think the best quality in your writing is the way your dialogue and sense of humor come naturally. Each character's personality is distinguished and they are funny when you want them to be. That's one thing many people struggle with that you're obviously amazing at. Although your storyline idea isn't very out of the box, you do bring several new aspects (like the hidden modeling career) to keep the readers on their toes. This is very well written!

The layout was alright, but I did find the fact that the alignment is centered a little distracting. That was the only real flaw I saw.

so surprisingly, I ended up liking this a lot and am hoping that you update soon! I love the layout. It has a lot of color but doesn't distract from the story. The story overall just flows really good :D

Comment swap brought me here, and so I'm aware The Wanted, and their songs, but not really them, sorry. Anywho, I read the first chapter, and there's good character development and good detail about the boys for those who are not aware of the wanted. You have good word flow, so keep that up!

Lovely start for the story.
:)

I'm not too keen on The Wanted, but I did enjoy it. I'm sure if I loved The Wanted, I'd be in love with this story, though. Your writing style is perfect and your words flow almost naturally. You made me actually feel sorry for Nathan, which is not something normal at all. I usually never feel any emotion reading stories, but you have managed to do so. Kudos to you for that. I really do hope Gemma comes around eventually. :)
(Sorry for reposting it, I noticed I had spelling mistakes in that and it's one of my biggest petpeeves)

I'm not too keen on The Wanted, but I did enjoy it. I'm sure if I loved The Wanted, I'd be in love with this story, though. Your writing styles is perfect and your words flow almost naturally. You mad me actually feel sorry for Nathan, which is not something normal at all. I usually never feel any emotion reading stories, but you have managed to do so. Kudos to you for that. I really do hope Gemma comes around eventually. :)

I love the layout, it’s so simple and easy to read. This story is beautifully written, with detail and description scattered throughout the story. The story flows very well, the chapters are a bit shorter than my personal preference but that’s fine. I barely saw any errors in grammar, punctuation, or spelling. It’s a great story overall! Keep writing!

This is most deffinetly a great read!I wish there was more! Subscribing now!