The Tulip Field - Comments

Here for comment swap, and well this was well written. I especially like the poem I got shivers down my spine when it happened. The soullessness accompanying the poem which mysteriously flashed in her head was great. I hope to read more!

Here for comment swap. When I first started reading I thought I was going to be reading a cute little period drama/romance. Oh how wrong I was. It's much more thriller than romantic, which isn't a bad thing at all. You use a great choice of words for the feeling of the story. I feel like I could learn a thing or two from you. I didn't really understand what you meant by 'first birthday', did you mean it's her first birthday there because I wouldn't think she's only a year old haha. Will Nikolas have a bigger part in the future? He wasn't there long but I feel like he would be a great character in the future. :-)

Comment Swap:-)

I have to admit, I'm out of my element reading out side of the fantasies I adore. The layout isn't to my taste, however I find it fits the story perfectly. Your grammar and wording is pure bliss :-) I love where it is going and I hope you finish it! I need to know what happens to Jackie. I like the moment between Collin and Jackie, but I have to admit the "first birthday"thing threw me. Hope you continue!

I’ve actually been quite irked over the past week or so because I just could not seem to come across a story that was just eerie enough for me. I’ve been craving a very peculiar type of fiction, so peculiar in fact, that I didn’t even know what I was searching for until I read the first chapter of your story. I am absolutely blown away and hooked; the imagery, needless to say, is phenomenal: and surprisingly enough so is the plot. I’m only one chapter in but I’m incredibly curious as to what this tulip field alludes to and just who the creepy lanky girl hunting Jackie down is? I wonder what sort of a role Jackie’s friend will play in future chapters. I love the fact that your story keeps me at the edge of my seat in the most poised way possible, no sharp endings but it’s still enough to leave the reader wanting more; which is a rarity. The layout compliments your story beautifully; I have yet to learn how those work as I’m not really mibba savvy at all. Regardless, I look forward to reading future chapters; also, did you come up with the tulip field song on your own? It’s very creative!

I’ve actually been quite irked over the past week or so because I just could not seem to come across a story that was just eerie enough for me. I’ve been craving a very peculiar type of fiction, so peculiar in fact, that I didn’t even know what I was searching for until I read the first chapter of your story. I am absolutely blown away and hooked; the imagery, needless to say, is phenomenal: and surprisingly enough so is the plot. I’m only one chapter in but I’m incredibly curious as to what this tulip field alludes to and just who the creepy lanky girl hunting Jackie down is? I wonder what sort of a role Jackie’s friend will play in future chapters. I love the fact that your story keeps me at the edge of my seat in the most poised way possible, no sharp endings but it’s still enough to leave the reader wanting more; which is a rarity. The layout compliments your story beautifully; I have yet to learn how those work as I’m not really mibba savvy at all. Regardless, I look forward to reading future chapters; also, did you come up with the tulip field song on your own? It’s very creative!

The summary was really...creepy. But I admit it did get me to read it. I liked the layout but at times, the tulips did get a little distracting. I like Jackie, but I imagined her to be younger, maybe even younger than ten. Everything is grammatically correct and I can tell you do a good job on spell checking because I don't think I saw a single mistake. It's a really unique plotline and I'm excited to see what happens. I wonder how Jackie and Nikolas' (Not sure if I spelled that right) parents reacted to their disappearance.

This wasn't what I was expecting at all but I love this. The plot sounds so unique and Jackie seems like such a great character. I was afraid of her being a Mary Sue at first, but she actually has such great depth. I really want to know more about the woman though, especially how she gets the children to her house. I really hope you update soon, I'm really looking forward to more.

Here from Comment Swapping.
Your layout is nice, that's the first thing I'll say. I don't like the fond, it's not all that easy to read, but I still think it's very pretty. I like the title too, it made me want to read more because it doesn't really give anything away about this story. I think your use of vocabulary is amazing. You use exactly the write words in all the right places, what I mean by that is that you have an excellent way of making this flow. I love your descriptions too. Good job.

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Wow. I'm at a loss of words! (which usually never happens ;) ) You make every writer on Mibba jealous, you're every aspiring writer's dream, poster-child. I love the names you've given to the characters and it flows so nicely that after I read all three chapters, I realized I didn't even remember clicking onto the next chapters after I was done with one! Your layout is very serene which I love! I understand some readers found your first chapter a bit confusing, but I've never read a book where every single minuscule detail is explained in the first chapter.... I mean, where the fun in that?! A job well done, never, ever stop writing!

God Bless,

Olivia

Comment Swap brought me here, and at first I was a little skeptical, but you're first chapter was enough to bring me in. It's a really good start, and you're layout it really awesome, it helps with the appeal for the story. Also you're paragraph spacing, grammar and spelling make it a wonderful read, keep it up!

I’m from the comment swap.
Your opening paragraph is very strong. It instantly pulls the reader into the story and makes them curious about what will happen next.
Your descriptions flow beautifully and create lovely imagery.
“back then I would have said no.” This line causes the reader to question what has happened, it also separates the narrator from the protagonist slightly.
“I giggled and he flashed that prideful smile” I like how this sentence sums up the relationship between the two characters. Him being more rebellious and liking the attention whilst she is the opposite, a good girl.
“He was gone.” this is very powerful, especially followed by her crying. The short sentence shows the isolation from her body but also her realisation.

Oh. My. Lord. Just from the first chapter, I'm loving it! I can't wait to see what the strange mystery behind the Tulip Feild is and why this women has all these kids just to farm her feilds. Even the lullaby was amazing, and I like your writing style. I'll defiantly be waiting to read more! ^-^ <3 (Brought here by Comment Swap and is defiantly Subscribing!)

Comment Swap brought me here! I absolutely LOVED the description and was immediately curious as to how the rest of the story would go. And I was pleasantly surprised by the first chapter. I love the mystery behind this story and it makes me want to read more. I'm definitely recommending and subscribing. Good job!

I'm from comment swap. First off, I love your summary as I've never seen a song used before. The song is really good by the way :) The plot seems really unique and I've never stumbled across one based upon a poem before. The whole story actually reminds me of a spooky stately home I visited last weekend, random I know. Anyway, there isn't much for me to critique you on as I couldn't see any spelling or grammar mistakes. Keep up the good work and I'll be recommending :)

I found the beginning of the first chapter to be a little confusing, because she was talking about a song, but it never said what the song was. I went back to the summary and realized that was where the song was, but for people who don't usually read summaries, it might be a little confusing, especially since summaries aren't usually part of the story, but that one was. It made more sense when the song was used later in the chapter. Other than that, I think this is a good story!

I found the beginning of the first chapter to be a little confusing, because she was talking about a song, but it never said what the song was. I went back to the summary and realized that was where the song was, but for people who don't usually read summaries, it might be a little confusing, especially since summaries aren't usually part of the story, but that one was. It made more sense when the song was used later in the chapter. Other than that, I think this is a good story!

The introduction to this was so drawing and so poetic, very well produced. It really made me want to move on and read that this mystical writing was about.

And what a surprise I was in for! This was such a unique story, the impressions and ideas within were very good and well thought out.

I really liked how you paced this story too, you are working at a good pace. You also use good grammar and structure. This is a good piece!

I really like the black, white and red theme that goes with this 'cause it seems to really fit in well with the story. Also love the fact that you used a poem/lullaby as the description because it really makes me want to figure out how it fits in and what the actual story is about. I think it's written really well and I really like the way that you started it.

Comment swap. I really like how the layout, chapter titles, and quote in the beginning, and the title all are centered around the tulips. I find that cute. I also like your chapters, you add enough detail so that its not too much but not too less.

I love the title, it's very unique but I don't know. The intro to the first chapter isn't really appealing to me. It's not very interesting in the beginning. I have no idea what lullaby you are talking about, what the words are, none of that. If it was in the summary, it should also be in the story because most people just skip the summary. That's my recommendation (: