The Tulip Field - Comments

Your summary was very intriguing!

Your character development isn't bad but i think a lot more could be done over the next few chapters.

There are no major occurring errors but I did notice you spelled 'manor' like 'manner'. Just a small thing but heyho!

I am actually really curious about what's going to happen next!

This is a really good start. You're great at describing and your sentences flow really well. This story definitely gave me chills. I can't wait to see what will happen in the upcoming chapters. You're a great writer. Keep doing what you are doing!

This story is incredibly unique. I discovered the gem through comment swap, and I'm happy that I did.

You are fantastic at writing your details smoothly, keeping your sentences running without having some kind of awkward pause in it due to word choice or the structure of the sentence. That is really good. I have to agree with others when it comes to your talent of describing things with this creepy feel to it.
However, I did notice a few grammatical errors. Nothing major, though. It was mostly your dialogue. I noticed you tag it improperly. This can easily be fixed by reading this or this; or even by just searching for articles/tutorials on it on the internet.
Also, you should break your paragraphs up with double spacing, especially your dialogue.

Other than that, I really like this. It's very good. Great job. (:

(Comment Swap)
I think the poem is really cool and creepy at the same time. I agree with MissSpitfire, reading this sent shivers up my spine. You have a talent for describing things in the creepiest way! I really would like to read more, because I've never thought of tulip fields in this way, and it's certainly eye opening. What's happened to Nickolas?

-from comment swap.
The title of this is really quite wonderful. You had me from there but the summary ‘Stay away from the tulip field’ is just so cool! I’m really interested to see where you go with this. I’d only suggest adding a character page with images but yeah, this is great and well-written. Good luck with it!

Comment Swap.
Okay wow this is amazing, you have some real talent, this sent shivers across my skin as I read it, simply amazing, the poem is amazing, but horrifying at the same time. as I read this I could see it being made into a movie, simply wonderful.
You have a wonderful writing technique, simple, easy to read and follow what is going on, you have some real talent can't wait to read more... :D

well, unoriginally enough , I agree with everyone else, that is one creepy poem really sounds like those whispered baby songs on horror movies when the killer is about to find a kid sleeping. I like the way you write, you carry the reader to the inside of the story with such ease. Brilliant!

I found this through comment swap.
I really enjoyed your writing, it's extremely vivid. I also loved how the layout fits in with the theme. I do have to agree with the other commenters, the little poem definitely sent chills up and down my spine. It almost reminded me of watching a horror movie.
I loved what I read, keep it up.

Comment Swap :D
Like the person below,reading the poem on the summary page sent chills down my spine. To be honest I didnt enjoy this story. It isnt your fault because I think your writing is fantasic and you should continue to do so. But I dont really enjoy these types of stories

From Comment Swap.

Holy crumbs, reading that little poem on the summary page sent major chills down my spine; it kind of reminds me of a weird hybrid of Children of the Corn, The Happening, and The Woman in Black. In my mind, merging these titles together into one work – which, in turn, in this awesome story – somehow works, haha. Majorly creepy and totally awesome! I already love this and am excited to begin reading. c:

The premise of this was really interesting. I already like Nickolas and Jackie; they’re both shining characters in this thrilling beginning. I’m saddened that Nickolas had the fate that he had, I was really beginning to like him. I rarely read about likeable characters like him. And I’m very curious to find out more about Jackie’s fate, as that wasn’t reiterated on very much.

My only complaint here is that some of the spacing was a bit off and there are a couple of grammar/punctuation errors here and there. It’s nothing too serious, but it does tend to be a little distracting. I suggest getting a beta to clean things up here, as this story is absolutely amazing and it just needs a little tweaking here and there.

Nonetheless, I greatly enjoyed this and will come back to read more when I can. Awesome job! <3

I liked the layout. It was interesting, but the large red boarder a little distracting for me. Maybe a bit thinner would be a bit better, dear. I liked the story and I'm a bit sad that Nickolas died. I liked him. Hahahha. I'd like to see where this story goes and I think you're off to a good start! :D

I'll start off with the layout. I actually appreciate the fact that your layout matches with the theme of the story. It's very classy to keep things simple. What I do not really enjoy though is the shadow in the title. I think it's somewhat distracting. It would look even much more flawless if you took that off.

The summary at the beginning was well thought-out and I like how it merges into the chapter. You do have a couple mistakes though. Here: "Granted no one ever took it seriously, I never took it seriously." Instead of the comma, a semicolon would fit better.

A little problem I have is that in a lot of the dialogue you did not double-space. It sounds like a small complaint but actually it's quite distracting and pulled me away from the story to notice that while some of the paragraphs were spaced out, the rest weren't.

"Come on, your always such a goodie-goodie." It's you're.

What I also noticed is that throughout the beginning you use past tense but once we reach the middle towards the end it goes to present tense which doesn't really… make sense to me. You have a little more mistakes here and there but nothing that anyone can really closely point at. The plot is good, and I found it interesting throughout the very end. All it needs is some tweaks here and there and it'll be absolutely perfect. .

I really like your layout. It's simple, it's not too much. The story flows really well. You are a very detailed writer. You did a magnificent job! I hope you continue with this story, as the summary pulled me in and the first chapter left me wanting more. Keep up the good work! :)

I loved the layout. I loved the simplicity of it. The story has a natural flow and is extremely well written. I love all the detail you put into it. You did a fantastic job. I really hope you keep it up! If not, I'll be really really sad. -A

The layout is nice and simple, I like it that way. The story was very well written, full of detail and description. The summary pulled me in right away, curious about the rest of the story, which did not disappoint. The story flows very nicely and the chapters are good lengths. Overall, it's an awesome story! Keep up the great work!

The layout is nice and simple, I like it that way. The story was very well written, full of detail and description. The summary pulled me in right away, curious about the rest of the story, which did not disappoint. The story flows very nicely and the chapters are good lengths. Overall, it's an awesome story! Keep up the great work!

This story was really cool. The layout was really pretty and cool, and I really love the song in the summary of the story. The whole story sounds like an Urban Legend so far. The story flows very nice and effortlessly. I also noticed how you called the main character a Duke. I'm glad you fixed that later in the story. Good job.

The layout is really beautiful fits the story very well. I really love the song in the summery. It what actually made me continue to read. The story is ver unique and i really liked it. My only proplem is that you do seem to switch back and forth between past and present tense. ~Subscribed

I love the background. It was very eye-catching.
The plot is very original; how did you come up with it?? The descriptions and details you write are very good, and it flows rather effortlessly. I think I'd say my only problem with it is that you kind of switch back and forth between past tense and present tense, and it's a little confusing. But overall I found this really intriguing and I hope you continue with it. :)

The layout really caught my attention, before I even started to read the summary. I like the way the red boarder glows against the black and white of the rest of it. It kind of makes that creepy effect.

The little song in the beginning, though very cool and kind of creepy, should be spaced out like lyrics. With every rhyming line paired with the other. It'll look better that way.

As well, if your character is a girl, and she is also a "Duke", she would be called a Duchess, which I see you fixed later.

Besides little spelling mistakes, which can always be fixed and are over looked when you first post a chapter, this is fantastic. I like the idea of the whole story, even if I'm not sure where it's going.