Signed, Forever Yours - Comments

I love your story!! Feel free to read mine "Love Holds The Strongest Bond"!

Comment Swap brought me here.
Okay, so I read all 8 chapters and here's the lowdown.
I like the length of your chapters and the flow of them. The way you write is easy to read and understand.
I would say just for constructive purposes that I have a few comments.
I'm very unclear on how old the main characters are. I was thinking early teens from their texts.
I thought Jarrod was an abusive stepfather. Then I realize that it's Amberlee's lover/live in boyfriend. So I'm thinking they must be over 18 at least. Are they in school? How do they know eachother. Was it a workplace connection. I know Amberlee's friend gave Caleb her number, but I'm not really sure about who these people are and how they relate to eachother.
I'm sensing some serious mental health issues. Jarrod is more openly evil, sans the mustache twirling
I'm not sure about Caleb though. He seems very sexist and mistrustful of women. One line said something like, what if she's a slut trying to get me into bed. Excuse me????
People have sex. Calm your tits, Caleb.
I'm not sure Amberlee needs someone else with such a narrow veiw of women after Jarrod. Obviously she has a bad history of unhealthy relationships.
I've got lots more to say, but my comment is already far to long.
I do want to read more and will be sure to recommend and subscribe. ;)

Wow, I'm not one for angst, but your use of figurative language and imagery drew me in!!! Incredible job, keep up the good work

I think you are doing a really good job so far though there isn't a whole lot of dialogue. So instead you are telling us what's going on in their head which is ok, but it would be more effective if it comes from the character. All in all though, I too am mostly into sci-fi/fantasy but this was good to read something different and interesting.

Comment Swap

Let me start by saying this isn't exactly my kind of story. I am a guy, who enjoys fantasy and sci-fi. With that being said, I read the first 5 chapters and you have a done a great job of painting a picture of two broken lives. I felt it was a little too convenient and unrealistic that they (Caleb and Amberlee) both jumped right into relationships at the end of chapter 5, but I assume there will be reasons for that down the road. The actual writing is great, you have a great ability to make the words come to life. Again, this isn't my type of story, so I found myself reading and focusing more on your writing style than the story line .In any case, Well done.

Comment Swap

Let me start by saying this isn't exactly my kind of story. I am a guy, who enjoys fantasy and sci-fi. With that being said, I read the first 5 chapters and you have a done a great job of painting a picture of two broken lives. I felt it was a little too convenient and unrealistic that they (Caleb and Amberlee) both jumped right into relationships at the end of chapter 5, but I assume there will be reasons for that down the road. The actual writing is great, you have a great ability to make the words come to life. Again, this isn't my type of story, so I found myself reading and focusing more on your writing style than the story line .In any case, Well done.

Comment Swap

Let me start by saying this isn't exactly my kind of story. I am a guy, who enjoys fantasy and sci-fi. With that being said, I read the first 5 chapters and you have a done a great job of painting a picture of two broken lives. I felt it was a little too convenient and unrealistic that they (Caleb and Amberlee) both jumped right into relationships at the end of chapter 5, but I assume there will be reasons for that down the road. The actual writing is great, you have a great ability to make the words come to life. Again, this isn't my type of story, so I found myself reading and focusing more on your writing style than the story line .In any case, Well done.

I am extremely apologetic for the triple comments! I don't know how that happened!

This is for the 'story-swap-comment' I got! :D

I think this is a really good story so far; just read three chapters. I can't believe Sam is pregnant - unless she really is lying to get him back.

I feel so sorry for Amberlee, being abused and all! Why doesn't she do anything, where's her family? I'm slightly confused. Anyway, I hope she gets help soon and goes with Caleb to live happily ever after!

I really like your story. I shall subscribe! >:D

This is for the 'story-swap-comment' I got! :D

I think this is a really good story so far; just read three chapters. I can't believe Sam is pregnant - unless she really is lying to get him back.

I feel so sorry for Amberlee, being abused and all! Why doesn't she do anything, where's her family? I'm slightly confused. Anyway, I hope she gets help soon and goes with Caleb to live happily ever after!

I really like your story. I shall subscribe! >:D

This is for the 'story-swap-comment' I got! :D

I think this is a really good story so far; just read three chapters. I can't believe Sam is pregnant - unless she really is lying to get him back.

I feel so sorry for Amberlee, being abused and all! Why doesn't she do anything, where's her family? I'm slightly confused. Anyway, I hope she gets help soon and goes with Caleb to live happily ever after!

I really like your story. I shall subscribe! >:D

Comment Swap bought me here as well and I found this story really cute. I can't really do a long comment but I hope you post more of this, so I can keep reading. :0 But good job so far on it.

Wow, I really enjoyed reading this story! I probably would've read it all in one sitting if it hadn't been because of the fact that I had to go out for a bit, but I'm back now! lol. Okay, so onto the story: Your characters are pretty well-developed. I liked Amberlee and Caleb from the start. The second and third chapter were probably my favorite, because they truly hit you. They are very strong and emotional, and they really paint the picture, so that's great! Jarrod is such a well-written character, too. Wow.

"He sweeps his fingers over her skin, feeling every scar he’s left; Caleb will know who she belongs to. The scars will tell it all and she will be too gone to save, therefore she will be his forever." -- Wow, this part actually made me shiver. I felt so bad for Amberlee throughout this story. I did get a little scared in the 8th chapter when Caleb saw Amberlee's bruise and he reacted the way he did. It might've been just me, but I was like, 'OMG NO. IS HE GOING TO BE LIKE JARROD?'

However, the layout was a bit distracting for me. Maybe it's just because my eyes are a bit sensitive, but the red colors sort of strained my eyes and I had to hit the default layout thing. But anyway, if I had to advise you to fix something in the actual content of the story it would have to be that you seem to mix present and past tenses at times, so it kind of distracts the reader a little.

Like this part:
She leaves his side and entered the kitchen, eager to make something to warm the chill that was starting in her toes.

But it doesn't even happen that much, so maybe I'm nitpicking. I really liked this, anyway! Keep it up!

I really like the idea of this story. It has potential. I will say though that while the layout is simple and I like it, I didn't like having to scroll over so I could read some. The color of your text seemed to blend in with the picture but that may just be me since no one else complained about it. Your descriptions are repetitive at some points and sometimes your sentences seem to be the same length causing the story to slow down at points it doesn't really have to. Other than that I enjoyed this story!

Comment Swap brought me here.

It's a cute story and I like the layout a lot. It's simple but nice. But like with what Lilynotlyla said, sometimes you tended to get a little repetitive with your descriptive words. Try having a thesaurus next to you while you write or even bring up thesaurus.com. You have no idea how much that site has helped me and I'm sure it'll improve your writing. :)

This really isn't bad. I'd just watch your descriptions because you get a little repetitive. For example: "He places her gently on his bed, her hair stuck to her face with tears. He gently pulls off her shoes, and gasps to see her ankle so swollen and bruised, and prays that he wasn't the one who caused it. He gently places an ice pack on it, and covers her with a blanket."

Using "gently" over and over pulls me out of the moment. Try using synonyms or rearranging sentences for better flow. Otherwise not bad :)

OH MY GOD. I love this book. I love the introduction. I love the detail. Then layout. Description everything. All of it. Caleb and amberlee. I hate when they went back to their ex's. that was messed up for real. I'm really into this. Please update. I wanna know what happens next!!'nnnn

This was very good. I was a Little confused at the beginning with the time jumping but I think I got it. And I was sooo mad when Caleb went back to his ex and Amberlee went back to Jarred, even though he's so evil, literally. I hope now that she'll stay away from him and something get to happen between Amberlee and Caleb. Something that I would like to read even more about is details about how the characters Thinks and feels but I really liked it and are waiting for the next chapter! :)

awh <3 this isn't my type of story but the way you described everything really painted a picture in my head. You really gave the characters distinct personalities and I like the layout too. The only thing I can say is the dates make it a bit confusing. The way you described how Jarrod was thinking was so scary, it was so accurate to what a sociopath would think like! Good job keep writing

This looks extremely interesting. I love the summary, It draws me in and completely captures my attention. The Chapter titles are also interesting. The layout, however, could be better. For example the font kind of blends in. I like the picture though.