Signed, Forever Yours - Comments

Got a new subscriber! Cant wait for the next update!

I just want to read more and more of it

I like how you described Amberlee. It makes me wanna keep reading actually all your descriptions are enchanting please keep going.

Oh my goodnesssssss update soon:D

I love all the detail you use, it's like there's a movie playing in my head:3

I love the quote in the summary. it immediately draws attention to the story, the reader is left wondering what it is about. I like the layout, but the font color is not very eye catching, at least to me it isn't. other than that, I have no complains, lol. The story is lovely and I love the very beginning. "She is beautiful" and how you proceed to develope that idea, explaning why she is beautiful. I love this. very well done, although I find the chapters somewhat short.

I got this through the comment swap!
First off, I really like this. You kept the layout very plain so that we can focus on the language in your words. That was great! And your descriptions are very good as well. I really love the way you phrase and help us to picture them; the only thing is to me, they almost seemed to step us out of the story. The rest of it, I feel immersed inside but when you're busy describing anything, i sort of feel like I'm taking a step back. Which isn't a bad thing! It's just very different, and it's always intriguing to find yourself moving around inside the stories, you know? It just appears slightly choppy, as losing control. stated before.
Just a tiny note: Do you ever look at the chapter once you've posted? I've noticed mistakes before and I do that every time now. It's just in one of the "texts" sent out, I can't remember who it was, but there was just a square, as though it took out the character you meant to put in. Unless you meant to put the square there... haha.
I don't know if you've been writing long, but this story is a great place to start and try out new ideas- and yours is so good and original! You've still a little to work on, I think, just so it's not that choppy and everything flows- one sentence after another are linked and in sync. Which is tough and always something tricky. But you can do it! You're doing great, and every chapter just gets better than the one before it. I wish you the best :D

So I only read the first chapter, but your descriptions are amazing. I love how you described little parts of the character, like their eyes or voice, but left the rest for the reader to imagine.

Your writing style is a bit choppy though, and you use their names an awful lot. Maybe that's just a personal thing, but character's names seem to get a bit worn out if you use them too often, if you know what I mean. As for the choppiness, I think if you play with sentence length and structure, that'll help a lot. It just didn't seem to have a lot of flow to it, I guess.

Other than that, you're got a pretty awesome story here. Good luck with it! :)

Hello there. :) Well let's get started, shall we? I was brought here from comment swap and I have to say I enjoyed reading this to bits. The way you described their characters and their emotions is unique. The whole chapters captivated me and that doesn't happen very often with me. I liked your descriptions very much. I'm subscribing for sure. XD And you better post soon because I love this and I'm wondering what's gonna after he gave her that ring. Keep up the great work and share your imagination with me and your fans. XD

A very enjoyable story, rithmically paced with life like characters, but may i suggest some more discription in the department of backround. adding some more sound and color to your story. Overall though I deeply enjoy your story, keep writing and I'll keep reading.

Your writing flows very smoothly from the first chapter, I like it and it's very easy to read. The plot is enjoyable though there is a sadness present in the story. Both Caleb and Amberlee's characters seem to have gone through hard times.
I do wish that there had been more in the fifth chapter between Caleb and Amberlee. I feel like it was a bit sudden and Caleb dismissed Amberlee very easily for his new girlfriend. More on that would have helped I think but your story definitely leaves the reader wanting to know more which is always a good thing.

I got this story from Comment Swap.

The summary intrigued me. You didn't give too much information, nor did you give me too little.
I loved your characters, especially Jarrod. With your writing style and his character, he sounds insane about Amberlee, just not in a good way...

Your writing style is great. I haven't seen very much like it, and it, with your plot makes me want more. I really enjoyed reading this.

Hey, well.. I got to this story from the Comment Swap app. So let me start of by saying that I really like the plot idea you've got going on. I love Amberlee's sweet and innocent character and Caleb's also sweet but he's still a little more strong. I like the idea of how to broken people can find each other and help each other out. The grammar is good and spelling too.. it's just a bit confusing to me at times how you wrote this. Don't get me wrong, it's good but maybe a little too mixed (like amberlee and caleb's povs or what not). also, I'm really not a big fan of the layout, it's kind of distracting and the color strains my eyes a bit. but other than that, I think this is really good. Kepp up the good work :)

I really enjoy what you have done so far with the story, and I'm really happy comment swap brought me here! Your story reeled me in from the first moment in the summary and had me looking for the next chapter at the end. You have introduced your characters wonderfully and there is a great quality and flow to your words. I really enjoyed it and subscribed right away :)
Keep up the good work!

I feel bad saying this, but Jarrod is a wonderful character. He's ruthless and mean and the perfect antagonist. I think he's exactly the type of character that your story needed (after reading the first few chapters, it started slow and then he was finally introduced).
Your character development in just a few short chapters is really well done, and personally i love Amberlee. I like the aspects you've given her and how small and weak you've made her seem. She's the perfect character for someone who's been abused.
I'm a bit confused with the time changes, so i do wish they were a bit more specific. I, personally, like reading only one point of view for your story. I think it would have been better just to tell it from Amberlee's perspective, but thats my own opinion!
Anyway, really wonderful job!

- Through comment swap.

I love your characters; they're so well developed. And yet, they still have this mysterious air! Your writing style overall is lovely and is descriptive without going over the top.

I don't particularly like Amberlee but that's probably because you've managed to get the feeling of helplessness that comes with abuse pretty much correct. I don't think she's this perfect, tragic character - you've put her in a position where you feel sorry for her and understand but at the same time, you want her to stand up to her ex, even if she's scared. I wanted to scream at her not to let him in the house! But at the same time, I know that it's quite real because many abuse victims won't protect themselves from the abuser because of how they feel.

I did get confused about the time switches and haven't quite worked it out. It would help if you had more specific times because seasons change depending on whether you're in the southern or northern hemisphere. For example, 'winter', where I live, is right in the middle of the year, June/July time.

I think you need to watch your tenses - I'm pretty sure you're writing in present tense but at some places, I think you switch to past. It's not enough to be too noticeable but it disrupts the flow and feeling of your story.

I hope you keep this story going realistically - after the last chapter, where I'm pretty sure was either raped or sexually abused, Amberlee should probably turn out to be pretty messed up. I'd like to see the lines between abuse blurred - just a suggestion here, I'm not sure whether you know exactly where this story is going or not - as you're writing in Jarrod's point of view as well. It'd be really interesting to read more from his mind.

There were a couple of errors...

He is on his way to the hospital for the sixth time in the past 3 months. - I recommend changing '3' to 'three.' It just seems more professional.

“Caleb? Thank god you’re ok.” - 'ok' should either be 'OK' or 'okay.' Unless it's in a text message, where chatspeak can be used.

Overall, I was really impressed by your writing. I hope your story goes well.

This is a good story! I like the characters you have made, especially Jarrod. Even though he seems like a controlling asshole, I like his dynamic.
You mentioned that people seem to think that your characters are portrayed as perfect? Well I don't think so, other than the fact that they feel that the other is perfect. Which is quite common when people develop crushes and what not.
I'm not exactly fond of the plot, to be honest. But that's just me! It's only because I'm in a class with all girls and lots of them have serious relationship issues and it irks me to have to hear about it all the time. And that they actually put up with that crap!
I like the whole, I dunno, flashback thing I guess haha It got me a little confused though, since I kind of skip that part. Don't ask me why, I just do it with every story! Probably because I assume that it's just going to go from start to finish.
Another thing, you had a bit of a habit for doing run-on sentences during the first chapter I think...I can't quite remember! But I'd consider revising it, just because it is possible to split one sentence into two!
Anyways, this is great story so far and I think it's great the way you've developed your characters. Keep up the good work!

I really like this story so far, I think that the character development was done very well, but there's something that is still kind of hidden about the characters, I can't decide if you did that on purpose or if it just worked out. I think it adds to the story either way! I agree that the chapter about Jerrod was very good and was probably my favorite so far. I am interested to see this story goes I feel like it's at an interesting and very important part content-wise. I like your style though and look forward to updates!

Oh my god, that chapter focusing on Jarrod was amazing. It captures the usually hard to understand concept of an abusive relationship, and getting into his head like that was amazing. If I wasn't hooked before, I definitely am now. I was on my way home today and I found myself actually thinking about this story and how I couldn't wait to find out what happened next. I had no idea you were this good. <3

I really like this story. Chapter 5 was nuts! I like that it is written in present tense and in third person. Your writing style is very impressive in general.

I really like Calebs character. And I think that Amberlee feels like a real character.