Shaded Beauty - Comments

I love this! update soon:)

I love this! update soon:)

Another thing I also like about the story is how you do make it realistic. I have friends in class who hate paying attention and just want the answers freely. I also like how Shaya changes emotions to blushes at her friend to giving cold hearted comments towards her friend.

I like how you don't use "simple words." Such as gnawing, diligent, exaggeration, etc. It makes the visual inside better.

(Comment Swap) Puting the scenario in the middle of the screen? "The comes Colton", is "Then comes Colton", isn't it? Seems like a "Cliff Hanger"?
(Chapter 1) "back from his post" is "back, from his post"?
"your" is "you're" in this case, it's grammar over pronounciation.
"Well that makes sense", is "Well, that makes sense", or you just drop the "Well"? hard pressed to read it without the pause the comma is supposed to lend?
I guess it's possible to say "You know how much I hate it when you call me that", but "You know how much I hate it, when you call me that" sounds better? it's not just the pronounciation, but the added emphasis.
"were alone because", is "were alone, because", isn't it?
"minutes ago you", is "minutes ago, you"
"might at fuel to the flame", you mean "might add fuel to the flame"?
"In the end she decided" is better, "In the end, she decided"?
"Finally she thought as she turned", is "Finally, she thought, as she turned"?
There are sevralinstances, but I don't intend to be a prick about it.
I had the impression that Lucas was quite the bothersome guy?
Just saying he could give up all other girls, when what he needs to do, is to prove it without a word, in order to impress Shay? at least, it's my impression.
I'd need several more chapters, to get into the intended scenario, since all I've seen, is Say and Lucas.
with the tiny interuptions by families, or 'friends'.
Since you're inspired, I'd suggest you write the continuation, and fix every tiny detail, that's not ideal, such as the suggestions I placed here, and what ever suggestions you were given before me?

I have to agree with DarlingLover. Your story is only my second story I got through "comment swap", but its by far the best so far. I don't have to struggle and search for words that might help me to write a decent comment.
Your story inspires me to comment on it.

You have one big advantage when it comes to me though: I'm a sucker for "cliched" stories. And I hope you don't take offense that I used that term for your story - for I didn't intend to sound mean at all!

Your story is different from other "cliched" stories after all, like DarlingLover pointed out as well. It's not the typical "best-friend-love-story" and I dare to say that it won't be your average "teacher-student" relationship as well.

I also like your choice of words - your writing style is really great! And you describe your charaters perfectly - though I sure would like to find out more about them already, but I'm sure that'll come soon enough. I love Shaya's name by the way.

I also love the cliffhanger at the end! It makes me look forward to this story and I can't wait to read the next chapter.

Thruth be told, I wanted to point out so much more - besides the fact that I love the title of this story as well - but I'm so estatic that I found such a great story that I am simply lost for words.

*comment swap*
I have to admit... I love a cliffhanger lol. In all seriousness, not a bad first chapter. You've left me intrigued as to what's going to happen between the three of them.
I am looking forward to reading more from this story.

P.S the summary is fine!

So this is the first story I ever found on the comment swap that I was actually glad I got. I loved it. Shaya and Lucas' friendship is actually cute. I love how it's not the typical secretly in love with each other and how you point out that fact that she doesn't like him. I can't wait to read more!

Holy crap! The summary was like, captivating and the characters are so real and I love that in a story. It's so original and the story itself is just captivating and addicting and you're doing great. Keep it up and prosper. I really love this. You did really great for the first chapter <3

I love your first chapter! Both Shaya and Lucas are both two very interesting characters and I like the intense relationship between the two of them. Please update soon!! :)

Your first chapter is amazing, as someone said below there are a few spelling mistakes but it's nothing that can't be fixed. Your plot is good and I'm glad, like everyone else seems to be, that you didn't rush them into a relationship. I really enjoyed it and I really want to know what happens next. I am subscribing :)

Your summary is good and makes me want to read the story. Only thing is, there are some spelling errors which I say have come from just typing too fast and your finger missing a letter. So once, they're fixed, it will be perfect.
You first chapter was lovely and long and I really enjoyed it though Lucas comes across a bit more annoying than charming. I feel like he's harassing Shaya more than trying to educe her as she's made her feelings clear. The new teacher sounds hot already though so can't wait to see what happens!

Wow, Love the first chapter^.^ I kind of thought it was gonna be another one of those cliche stories which are a lot now, here in mibba but it's nice to find a decent story where it won't start with kissing and sex,haha..Update soon: )

i love it! i love their relationship, and i love that you didn't go totally cliche and just have shaya dive right into lucas. i'm really excited for how you're going to go with this, if shaya will end up with lucas or the substitute teacher character. subscribed!(:

Strong beginning!