Cosmic Love - Comments

I love this story so far. In fact, the only problem I have with it is that there are a few typos. But no matter. Ivy is wonderfully written, the stifled princess behind stone walls. I've also seen some anachronisms (running water, concrete and the like) but I'm not sure if these are on purpose or not. Still, the story does have a charm to it, and while I've read a lot of stories very similar, yours has a bit of originality to it. I like it.

I think you have a good concept for this story. Dealing with issues of royalty and leadership is something that a lot of stories do, and as you’ve no doubt noticed, these stories can be quite interesting. It’s not necessarily the most original road to go down, but I think you can work with that.

However, I also think that you’re being dragged down by your writing style. Technically you’re doing everything right--you’re developing your characters, you’re paying attention to the senses--but it seems like you’re overwriting a lot of it and does seem to be very dull, at least to me anyway.

I actually quite like the central plot of the story. It's not entirely the most original story, but the way you write is very smooth and is intriguing.The one thing I do have to say about your writing is proof-reading, or making sure you're using the right form of words. Ex. "There" and "their". Other than that, it's wonderful. I completely adore Peter's character, keep up the good work.

I can't wait for you to update. :) Great story.

Comment Swap:

I actually quite like the central plot of the story. I'm not going to say it's completely original with the "forbidden forest" and everything, but the way you write is very smooth and it makes everything much more interesting. The one thing I do have to say about your writing is proof-reading, or making sure you're using the right form of words. Ex. "There" and "their". Other than that, it's wonderful. It's easy to figure out, but the fact that it's in first person keeps some of the mystery alive.

Just keep doing what you're doing,
CookieMonster

I am dying to find out what happens next! Update Soon!!!!

Summer is here! Which means I have more time to read and I'm getting caught up with your story!! Update soon :)

Oh jeez. Peter's brother? What a fight they will get in. I have a strong feeling about Andrew but ill let my suspicions lay low until I know for sure. Which means you should update. Soon :)

Ah! You need update soon! I love this story!

Why did she leave!? She should have just stayed with Peter. And what a cliffhanger! I look forward to the next update!

I really want to know what happens next!! Update soon!!!

Please update soon! GAH, I need more. I surely thought that Peter would come and save her but he didn't, so creepy-pervert werewolf went after her

One of the things I like to do when getting a comment swap is start in the middle. So I started at chapter four. One thing I noticed was that you don't use a comma before saying Ivy in dialogue. Whenever you call someone something in dialogue, you are supposed to use a comma before their name. If it happens to be at the beginning of the sentence, then it goes after their name. I.E. "Darling, please excuse me." or "This is my daughter, Ivy."
Otherwise your detail is great! Keep it up!

this story is awesome! Please keep writing and update soon :)

This story seems very interesting

I really like this story! its so full of surprises! i love it!

Pls update soon i want to know what happens next

Another thing, I love your attention to detail. It's quite easy to slip into the story and become a part of it. I felt like I had been taken into the plot line. Great job on accomplishing that, it's sometimes hard thing to attempt :) Keep this going because it will surely succeed!

This is quiet the interesting story you have here. It was well written and original and I think you have something really good going for you. Don't stop and keep updating! Great work :)

I really like this story. Update soon!