The Feathered Antique - Comments

Comment swapper here. :)

So, for starters the summary is a bit choppy and gives far too much away. It's intriguing though, to say the least. There are a few grammatical mistakes.The first chapter definitely shows off your writing ability. You have some talent there. Keep up the good work.

-from comment swap.
The title is absolutely beautiful. I went on expecting to find a story of some special antique possession and a romance…I found your layout quite childish. The cartoonish girl just isn’t professional at all and it makes me not want to read before I’ve even started. A plainer layout is more appealing to more people. I then went onto your summary. I stopped there. Never write ‘BLUE!’. Never. I can’t even fathom why you would think that was appropriate. It’s unprofessional, immature, and just downright makes me want to report your story and then close my window. The ‘^^’ and ‘PLZ’ bring down your story entirely. Again, I can’t imagine what would possess you to use them. It’s not cute, fun or interesting. It’s tiring, incessantly childish and idiotic. Sorry, but I just couldn’t read your story anymore.

The details are good, but a little confusing how it seems to skip from one detail to bringing the story into focus. In general though you do have a talent for writing; because like I said vivid details, but a little confusing at the first chapter and way too much unneeded detail. I liked it though and think you should continue. Keep it up because the 2nd chapter came along very well!

Hey, comment swappperrr :)

As said by the comment below your summary is quite strange, I feel as if you rush to tell the first part of the story, giving too much information when you need to be drawing the readers in.
The first chapter however is much more cohersive, and very well written, giving a lot of imagery.
I like you layout, it's quite unusual! ( which is why I like it ahaaa)
good luck with your writing!

I was a little confused by your summary, but your title really drew me in. The story overall has a really good, original idea, which I always like to see. It is well written, and I see few grammar or spelling mistakes. I agree with the below comment, I would take the "Plz comment" part. You don't need it, your summary should do the drawing in.

Overall, the story is well-written, and I enjoyed it so far. I hope you continue, and good luck!

The plot is very nicely structured and well thought out! I'm not a big fan of the layout.

You don't have many grammar mistakes. Also I like your character descriptions:)

From the summary this story seems interesting. The way BLUE! is emphasized kind of throws me off, though. I don't the word needs to be capitalized like that.

PLZ leave a comment if you read my novel^^ I think this line is completely unnecessary. It kind of ruins the tone of the summary.

I really like the introductory paragraph and how it discusses the desire to live. Prair and Mathew are interesting characters so far. Since the summary was about Elika and she hasn't been mentioned yet, I wonder what they have to do with her. I think you ended the prologue well, with the right amount of suspense with the whole becoming a god thing.

Cupcakes?