The Business of Being - Comments

I totally wasn't expecting Brendon to know Ryan already. You surprised me THAT'S VERY HARD TO DO I HOPE YOU KNOW.
I also like the lack of emotion in the Pete/Ryan scene. Hardly anyone gets the "just a fuck" feel right.

"You're a fucking jerk," Brendon says, and it should sting but there have been worse things in the last month. Ryan just nods. That makes me so sad. You kill me.

Your descriptions are both crude and beautiful. Totally stunning. And Brendon's reaction. It made me laugh a little. Actually, this whole scene just made me laugh because Brendon jerking off to Ryan and trying to smoke at the same time...it's a really amusing mental image. But completely tragic. Completely

Shit just got real. Why is Brendon trying to smoke while he jerks off? I thought he knew better! And now he's got a lungful of smoke. And Ryan with AIDS. Not his brightest day.

RYAN HAS AIDS?! Way to stab me in the heart straight off. LIKE... NO... I MEAN... WHAA

This is already intense. And I'm still in shock you're doing a chaptered story.

Anyway, I really liked the first three lines with Pete (lol) it just sort of puts you right in the action. I don't even know, I already love it. More soon, yes?