June 26th, 2016 at 11:50am
I really like how there are two paragraphs in the summary, one for each of the main characters. It gives the reader a little information about that specific character without really giving too much away.
What I also liked was how they began with what was said in the first line with the character pictures. With this, I noticed how the summary goes into more depth of the sentence, like with Raven, her paragraph describes her looks and how she uses her looks to give people the impression that she wants to give them. And with Jung Byunghee, his paragraph just describes how he is full of rage, which feels to me, completely different from Raven.
The sort of emotion that I felt while reading the summary was very different. With Raven, I felt an innocence and light feeling to her paragraph, but with the other one, it felt really angry, vengeful, and hateful. I really do like how different they are.
Anyway, the summary is very interesting and while it gives away a little about the characters, it didn't give too much about the story itself, which, to me, gives me a reason to stick around for the story itself.
Relating beauty to an illusion is rather telling of your character. There's always a catch with a character this perfect, and I after reading this one paragraph I really want to know what it is. You reveal a lot about her character in terms of both physical and characteristic attributes. cat like should be cat-like.
You're really fabulous at making actual writing sound like poetry. Is it weird that your description of Byunghee reminds me of the Hulk? Part of me hopes that these are just some really poetic descriptions, but the other part hopes that this is actually some sort of supernatural tale. I mean, what appears to be super-strength, Grim Reaper, the Devil? This sounds like the perfect not-quite-antagonist-not-quite-protagonist lead male story where the girl stumbles into a different world.
Your character page is a great addition to this! I'm not sure if you wanted things to be given away by the descriptions that weren't in the summary, but that totally happens. Of course I'm happy with this because it means I didn't have to wait to find out if my guess was correct~