Dead & Sick - Comments

while i wait patiently for the next chapters in Hunger and Thirst, I am going to re-read the series that I love so much!!! <3

@ soldier;

Yay, thank you! I appreciate you giving it a chance. Hopefully it meets your expectations. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

I don't usually start reading stories that are this complex and long when they are already so far in but I absolutely love movies that have to do with viral outbreaks so I am looking forward to reading this. I love that you have enough patience to continue it and work on it so much. Like you nursed it from the ground up and you now have three separate parts. I can't wait to dig in. More comments will follow this one once I get into it. :)

@ Albluerose

Your comments make me so happy.

Finished! I knew it!!!! I knew she was going to sleep with James or at least catch feelings. The children's deaths really pulled at my heart strings :( every death did. Tho miss frizzle should have not chickened out! Bad frizzle! I am now on to reading the next story, I can't believe she just blurred it out and said it. Oh my god! Here comes the drama!!!

I'm on chapter 18 now, i would have stayed up till 4 am finishing this but I couldn't. And OH MY GOD! She's sleepwalking and she's falling for James! Theres no doubt about it. I see a love triangle happening!!!!

@ Albluerose

Thank you so much! I appreciate the kind words. I'm working on the errors. I always do a read through before posting but sometimes it's hard to catch your own mistakes. I look forward to hearing what you have to say next.

Okay, so so far I am on chapter 16.

I have to say that this is by far one of the best zombie stories that I have read, like literally it feels so real and I can picture what is going. The detail the you wrote is awesome, I honestly don't know the right words to explain this and like I said I'm only on that chapter. The way you explained the zombies, intense. It's like half walking dead and half world war z, it's creepy and gross and just the right way to wrote a story.

So seeing as I will be commenting again, I won't make this comment that long. I did notice a few errors here and there, but they really didn't bother me. I can't wait to finish and go on to the sequal!

@ aliens.

Thank you for the comment. I appreciate you for pointing out the spelling errors. I don't always catch them before I post. As for the layout, my OCD kicked in and I wanted to use a similar color that was in the image. I'll play around with other colors to see what works better. I used to struggle with details and descriptions, but now I do agree that I might go overboard with then. I'm glad that you found the dialog to be natural and sometimes I find it difficult to distinguish different styles for each character.

@ Sesshomaru.

Thank you for the commemt. This is actually the first time I have attempted to write in first person. It feels good to know that I was sucrssfully able to pull it off. Thanks for pointing out the spelling and punctuation errors. I don't always catch them before I post. As for the layout, my OCD kicked in and I wanted to use a similar color that was in the image. I'll play around with other colors. I hope you enjoy the rest!

@ Cyanide Shivers

Thank you so much for the comment! I agree, there are times where even I wanted to get the story moving faster. My biggest struggle used to be description and details in my writing, but now I think I sometimes go a little overboard, haha. I'm glad you enjoyed the story! It gets much more action packed the further you go!

Layout + Summary
I love your cover photo, but the pink text on black was absolute hell on my eyes. I would definitely suggest changing it as some readers do become turned off if layouts have a black background with white/light colored text.

I really love how your summary sets up the tone and everything for the story. The video game being brought up and the virus spread by money during such a huge event like Black Friday is absolutely genius. I've never seen something like this, so I'm definitely looking forward to reading more!

Chapter One
First off, I do love the way you started this. It really creates an air of suspense which I'm excited to see where you go with. I also like how this is slightly futuristic (does 2019 even count as that anymore?).

I did think the long paragraph about her shower regime was unneeded. Unless, of course, it's important to the story later on.

Once again, the clothing bit was kind of unneeded as well. However, I did like the fact that we get to see the small bit of sibling rivalry and how jealous the narrator gets of her little sister.

Quote

but also my sister, who was still upstairs trying to get her “beauty sleep,” a term I scoffed at because no matter how long she would sleep her nose still looked like a black diamond ski slope for a Dr. Seuss Who.

I know it's really mean, but I totally laughed at this.

Aww, Brittany seems really sweet! And she got to fly out to see Audrey. Ahhhh, it's so cute!

Quote

Our mothers had bee pregnant at the same time and both had decided to homeschool their children that year.

bee should be been

Quote

It didn’t work that way she wanted it to, though, because then she became more like a money bag to us kids as opposed to a mother.

that should be the

I really like how you set the first chapter up. While some of it did seem unnecessary, I still enjoyed it. I love your descriptions and how all the dialogue seemed so natural. I'll definitely be reading on. Great job!

I enjoy that the story is written in the first person, very rarely do I ever actually read anything in the first person though so it's refreshing. I always like to start on the layout, its nice and simple the pink(ish?) font on the black background is a bit much for me but honestly, the layout is lovely and its just my opinion. My eyes are shit and I should probably get some glasses.
The summary is great, I loved how you used the video game to kinda set the mood of the story because lets face it, the ones who survive the actual apocalypse is probably going to be someone who played at least one zombie game. Going into the first chapter I was excited and liked how it's like an introduction of sorts. The only thing I noticed, right off the bat as a mistake was this line:
“Just uploaded a new song. It’s called “No One Laughs At God,” Brian said from across the living room.
The line should read:
“Just uploaded a new song. It’s called 'No One Laughs At God',” Brian said from across the living room.
Your quotes weren't closed properly. Otherwise, everything else looked good; the grammar was great, the description was nice.
I only read the first chapter so far but I really want to keep on reading.

It’s really, really well written, and I really like the idea. I can tell you thought it out fairly well. I did find times where I was a little bored with all the information, and I’ll admit I skimmed over several parts just because it was so long winded with little to no breaks in between. Other than that, this is really good. In the later chapters, you seem to really hit your stride and the clunky sentences all but disappear. I haven’t finished the entirety of the story yet, but I’m too confused about what happens to leave it be now. Keep up the good work in all that you write! :grin:

@ heavymetalcowgirl

Thank you! That is so nice to hear because sometimes I worry that I'm struggling to envision what I see.

I like this already! Very clever with the virus, and amazing detail! I can envision everything as it happens as if it was me as the main charactor

I think I'm only six chapters in, and stumbled upon this as the beginning story to a sequel that was recently posted... Anyway, your writing is amazing. I am yet to find a story as captivating as yours was from the beginning. I've just started reading and already six chapters deep. Definitely a story I'm excited to finish. Awesome job!

I remembered your original stories today really randomly haha, all I rememebered was some of the characters, the basic plot and some of the more recent chapters (i say recent but I hadnt read it in years!) so i went to google and typed some key words and I ended up here! Definately going to read, I remember I was so addicted to the original books :)

Okay, so I've read the first six chapters and wow... this is amazing. It's different and I love zombies!... The detail you use creates amazing images as you read and the story just holds your attention from chatper to chapter. I'm really liking Audrey to be honest... she seems strong but you've also shown her vulnerable and scared. Great job!

@ siren_cryer

Hello! No, unfortunately this is the only place I have this published on.