I'd Kiss You Goodbye If I Thought It Would Make You Stay

“Wake me, wake me, but don’t tell me I’m lazy when I pull the covers back over my face. Oh, wake me, wake me, ‘cause we’re all going crazy and we’re always preaching that everyone’s wrong.”¬ – The Early November

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“Ow,” I complain, trying to block my face from being attacked by pillows. The blows don’t stop and I hear familiar laughing.

“Go away,” I command, opening my eyes to yank my pillows away from Mike and Sisky and then jamming one over my head. I hear them leave and another set of soft footsteps enter. “What, Bill?” I mumble, yawning.

“We’re going out to brunch with Michael and Jack,” he informs me, gently pulling my pillow away.

“Go without me,” I say, not having opened my eyes yet.

“Can you please come with us?” he asks hopefully.

“I don’t want to go if he’s there. I made an idiot of myself, and I don’t want to see him in general,” I state firmly, finally sitting up straight to look at him. He sighs.

“Look, Michael’s been begging to come see you ever since you got here. Just come with us, and if you really can’t handle it, I’ll bring you right home. Okay?”

I think for a few seconds while he gives me a pleading look.

“Fine,” I sigh grudgingly, knowing that I don’t really have a choice while Mike, Sisky, and William are here. I climb out of bed, shooing him out of the room so I can shower, get dressed, and try not to freak out in the process.

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“We’re here,” Bill announces, as he parks the car. I feel my throat drying up as we all exit the car.

“I can’t do this,” I say, as we start to walk down the street. I try turning back to the car.

Mike grabs my right arm and Sisky takes my left, each turning me around and leading me back in the direction of the restaurant with their strong grips. Damn it.

“We’ll have an emergency word,” Sisky suggests.

“What?” I ask, trying not to laugh. He tends to have that effect on me.

“An emergency word. You can say it when things get awkward so we know to save you.”

“Yeah. Like…like, um…Santi,” Mike offers lamely. I sigh in defeat, shaking my head.

I have no choice, we’re just outside the restaurant now, and Sisky and Mike are still holding onto my arms so I can’t escape.

“Fine. Let’s get this over with.” I twist out of their grip and follow them inside, where we are immediately greeted by Michael. He greets the guys and then makes a move to hug me, but I flinch away and he stops. He leads us to a table where Jack and a pretty blonde are sitting. They both stand up to greet us, big smiles on their faces. She immediately greets the guys with hugs and small talk, but I have no idea who she is.

“Um…this is Nicola,” Michael introduces, the awkward atmosphere between the two of us still thick with tension and anxiety. I can tolerate his voice now, but hearing hers is like a slap to the face.

“I’ve heard so much about you. It’s brilliant to finally meet you!” she says, pulling me into a hug. I realize she has Michael’s accent. That’s when I start to panic.

She’s hugging me, and I’m starting to feel sick. Sick and dizzy. And I still can’t handle it, I can’t handle meeting his new girlfriend, I can’t handle seeing my replacement, and I find myself wishing that I’d been born Australian. Now I’m panicking again, and they’re looking at me like I’m crazy, and I might very well be, I’m not so sure anymore. And I need Sisky and Mike’s help, but I don’t know the word, I can’t remember it I can’t handle this I’m freezing up-

“Help,” I choke out, not being able to remember the emergency word.

“Excuse me?” she asks, frowning slightly and looking at me in confusion.

“Sorry, she hasn’t been feeling well lately,” William excuses us, pulling on my arm in the direction of the bathroom. “Are you okay?” he asks, once we we’re out of sight.

“God, Bill! I can’t do this! You could have told me he was bringing his girlfriend! How on earth did you think this was a good idea!?” I moan, feeling like I might start hyperventilating.

“What are you talking about?” he asks blankly. Then he realizes. “Rachel…that’s not his girlfriend. That’s his sister. She came back with him from Australia for the week; she’s leaving this afternoon.” I look at him doubtfully, frowning and daring to believe him.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive, Rae. We met her on tour last spring in Sydney.”

“I’m such an idiot,” I groan, covering my face with my hands. Although I’m relieved that he hasn’t replaced meyet, it was stupid of me to freak out at such a tiny assumption. What is wrong with me? William smiles sympathetically, giving me a hug.

“You’re fine. Let’s go back.” I sigh again, following him back to the table. I take my seat on Michael’s side, briefly apologizing to everyone.

“No worries,” Nicola grins at me. I smile weakly back.

“Are you feeling better?” Michael whispers to me discreetly, once everyone has settled into conversation, lightly placing a hand on my arm. I nod, but I don’t look at him or say anything.

As sad as it is, I just can’t.

I don’t even say anything when the waiter tries to flirt with me, even though Michael’s a bit tense after that while the guys are making fun of me.

I realize I’ve barely looked at guys in that way for quite a while because of Michael.

Because now, I don’t want anything besides a guitarist with an accent and a personality as sweet and amazing as his.

And this is the most awkward brunch of my entire life.