I'd Kiss You Goodbye If I Thought It Would Make You Stay

“I’ve got some problems, but we’ve got ten dollars. That’s enough to get us wasted before the night is over. These past five days I’ve been completely sober, but tonight I’m getting ripped wide open.” – Dave Melillo

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“What’s going on?” Suzie asks, as we enter the The Academy Is... bus after showering and changing out of our show clothes.

Mike hasn’t asked her out yet; I think he’s chickening out.

“Celebrating the last day of an awesome tour,” Mike answers happily, grabbing various bottles of alcohol from the cabinets along with some plastic cups.

He begins pouring and mixing and Butcher helps distribute the drinks.

I reach for a cup but Suzie gives me a pointed look. I sigh, handing it back.

She still doesn’t quite trust me around the alcohol.

“I’m going to take a walk,” I announce to anyone that’s listening, which happens to only be Seb, who gives me a wave of acknowledgement, and I slip out of the bus.

I settle myself on the grass behind the buses, and close my eyes, lying on my back.

When I open my eyes again, it’s darker out and I’m shivering. I sit up quickly, wondering how long I’ve been out here. I suddenly feel something warm being draped across my back.

“You didn’t come back, so I got worried,” I hear from behind me, and his accent’s piercing every word. I slip my arms into the sleeves of his black jacket, not replying.

It’s still warm from his body heat and smells like his cologne.

He drops onto the grass beside me.

“I brought something,” he informs me, when I fail to notice the fairly large bottle of wine and plastic cups he’s holding in his right hand. I smile slightly as he effortlessly pulls the cork out and pours the wine into the two cups.

Bad idea. Michael and alcohol. My two addictions in one convenient package.

We fall silent for a while, sipping our drinks.

We soon finish the bottle, still not having said anything and instead lying down side by side on the grass. I study the stars, wondering why there’s so many and my head suddenly feels heavy.

I feel the recognizable buzz taking over my senses, and I don’t mind it one bit.

I shiver again and scoot closer to Michael, wanting to feel his warmth.

I rest my head on his shoulder hesitantly. He closes his eyes peacefully and pulls me closer as if it’s perfectly natural.

His lips are close enough to kiss; but I’m just not ready to go back there yet.

Then I’m wrapping my arm around his waist and moving my head to his chest, and I know it’s an intimate position, but he’s so warm and I can hear his heartbeat and the wine is making me unbelievably drowsy. I’m so comfortable that I don’t want to move ever again if I can help it.

This is better than I remember.

“I love you,” I murmur, falling asleep before I get a chance to see his reaction.