Do You Think You're Up For This?

“I think they found another cure, for broken hearts and feeling insecure. You’d be surprised what I endure.” – Green Day

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“It’s getting late, Michael. We should head home,” I nudge him.

We’ve been at Sisky’s all evening, it’s almost midnight, and I still have to finish packing before I leave for tour tomorrow night.

He yawns, nodding his agreement. I link arms with him, pulling him along to find Suzie. “Hey, we’ll pick you and Mike up tomorrow night, okay? Our plane leaves at seven,” I remind her, although I’ll probably have to call to remind her again in the morning.

“Right. Plane,” she slurs, hugging me then making her way back to Mike.

She settles down on his lap and he kisses her cheek then continues his conversation with William. I don’t see the insecurities she revealed to me earlier and sigh. Either she’s taking my advice, or Mike has a surprise coming to him in the morning.

We say goodbye to everyone then get in the car. Michael drifts in and out of sleep in the passenger’s seat while I make the half hour drive back home.

I nudge him awake after I park and he sleepily trails behind me to our apartment.

He spins me around, catching my lips with his as soon as the door closes, surprising me.

I smile against his lips, opening my mouth and tasting the alcohol on his tongue as it clashes with mine.

“You’re drunk,” I laugh softly. He presses me to the door with his body, hands running down my torso and face nuzzling into my neck.

“I’m not that drunk,” he mumbles against my throat. “Only a little,” he insists, kissing me there tenderly where I love. I laugh again.

“Let’s get you to bed,” I reply. He pulls away to look at me, tucking loose strands of hair behind my ear.

“But tonight’s your last night. I wanted it to be special. I want to make you happy,” he says, surprisingly coherent as he leans his forehead against mine.

“You always make me happy,” I inform him, reaching up to tangle my fingers in his hair. “You can make me even happier in the morning,” I add, kissing his nose.

“Deal,” he grins, kissing me again before we head for the bedroom to sleep.

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Suzie’s POV

I smash the end of the cigarette into the wood near my bare feet, where it joins countless other stubs.

I sit on the floor of the small connecting balcony off our bedroom, leaning my head against the glass of the window next to the sliding door.

I immediately light another, closing my eyes as I suck it in. I exhale slowly, watching the wisps of smoke trail slowly from my lips. The wind blows it away immediately, making interesting swirls in the air.

I haven’t smoked this much since college. I’d picked up the habit again once I moved in with Mike. He always leaves packs lying around our place. It was just too easy.

If that’s not a bad sign, then I don’t know what is.

Last I checked, it was four am and Mike was snoring.

I’m wide awake and my eyes are alert for some reason, no longer drunk from spending the previous evening at Sisky’s.

I close my eyes again, enjoying the taste and nicotine traveling throughout my body. I vaguely register the door sliding open a few minutes later.

“Have you always been a closet-chain-smoker?” he questions, sitting down next to me after brushing aside the cigarette butts. He takes it from my hand and puts it in his own mouth.

“I can’t sleep,” I inform him nonchalantly, watching him release a puff of smoke from his mouth as he opens it to speak.

“Aren’t you cold?”

“No,” I lie. Truth is, I hadn’t noticed until he brought it up. I shiver in my thin tank top, finally noticing all the goose bumps on my arms. He wraps an arm around my shoulders, rubbing my cold arm with his hand. I instinctively rest my head on his shoulder.

“What’s wrong with us, Suze?” he questions, after awhile.

“I don’t know,” I admit. “I feel like…and I know how cliché this is going to sound- like we’re drifting apart.” He doesn’t reply for a minute as he inhales.

“You’re right,” he sighs.

“So what do we do about it?” I ask, lighting up another, seeing as he’s finishing off the one he stole.

“Are you saying you don’t want to be with me anymore?” he asks bluntly.

“I didn’t say that,” I answer quickly.

“So then you want a break?” he hesitates to ask.

“Kind of,” I admit, shrugging slightly. I feel increasingly guilty while he falls silent.

“Okay,” he says finally, arm still around me as we watch the first rays of the sun rising.