If I Let This Go

I rolled over on the thin mattress, expecting to find Ronnie, but instead saw nothing more than an empty room. I dug around in my purse, searching for my cell phone. After sifting through the several missed calls from Craig and Max, I finally managed to figure out what time it was: 11 AM. Knowing Ronnie, he probably left for food. Great, now I’m still trapped in here until he returns.

Well, what better way to kill time than to explore what he has here? Excitedly, I ran across the room, going through all of his things kept in a box near the TV. There wasn’t much in there – just some pictures, pieces of paper with lyrics scribbled across them, and other random possessions.

I was about to open one of the drawers in his dresser, when my phone started vibrating in my pocket, scaring the crap out of me. I yelped as I reached in my pocket for the phone, forgetting about the open drawer, which landed on the floor, spilling Ronnie’s clothes everywhere. “Damn it,” I groaned, scrambling to pick up the mess.

“Who’s there?” a male voice questioned from the other side.

It took me a minute or two to form words. “R-Ronnie’s girlfriend,” I answered timidly.

“Radke has a girlfriend? Are you by any chance Andrea?”

My mind went blank…why would this guy think I was Andrea? “Um, no my name is Megan,” I informed him, curious to find out who this other chick was.

“Uh oh,” he replied, “I think I’ve said too much.”

Whatever it was that he had to say…I needed to find out quickly before Ronnie returned. “No, please tell me about her. Ronnie never said anything about an Andrea before.”

“Exactly, that’s why I can’t tell you. If he doesn’t want you to know, then I don’t think it’s really my place to tell you,” he said awkwardly.

“Please,” I begged, “I need to know.”

He sighed and took a while before responding. “Ok, fine, but don’t tell him where you heard it from.”

“I don’t even know your name,” I pointed out.

“True, alright well here’s the deal. I don’t know much, since I’ve just gathered all of this from listening through the walls. Radke has been talking to some Andrea girl for the past two weeks. Subject matter varies, but it always seems to have to do with drugs. Radke’s due to head over to rehab soon enough, but I got nothing on the girl. I just assumed that she was his girlfriend or something but then again, that was just an assumption.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Not only was Ronnie getting close with some female inmate, but he was also trying to get involved with drugs again, after all the pain it caused him before.

“W-well I appreciate you telling me, but is there anything else at all that you know?”

He paused for a moment before quietly admitting, “It’s 11 AM…they always meet at this time. Guess you must’ve been asleep when he contacted her earlier this morning.”

I didn’t respond. What else was there to be said? Plus, I couldn’t form words anyway…I was too choked up.

*Ronnie’s POV*

It was 11 AM. Time to go meet up with Andrea. I was really hoping that Megan would’ve woken up before I left, but oh well, last night must’ve really worn her out. The lunch line was moderately long, but nothing too excessive. Andrea was closer to the front, so I sneaked my way around all the other people and cut in line with her.

“Morning, darling,” she smiled, kissing me on the cheek.

It was strange, she knew I had a girlfriend, yet she felt perfectly comfortable acting this way around me, as if she was actually my girlfriend. You know, I bet if everything goes according to plan, I could pull off having two girlfriends in the end. I smirked to myself just picturing all the possibilities.

“Ronnie, your eyes look dark. Did you get any sleep last night?” she questioned as we sat down at the metallic picnic-like table.

I took a quick bite of mashed potatoes before responding. “Not very much. I was a little busy…entertaining a guest.”

She gasped, “You had a party and you didn’t invite me?”

“It was just Megan and I. She came to visit and ended up spending the night. It was kind of a test to see if she’d be willing to help us out.”

“Oh,” she said flatly, “Megan is the one you planned on getting the goods for us?”

I nodded, “She loves me. I don’t see why she’d say no.”

“She better not screw this up,” she scowled.

“Andrea, jealousy isn’t very flattering,” I teased. She just rolled her eyes and threw a spoonful of green beans at me.

Lunchtime ended sooner than I had hoped, which meant I had to face Megan now. It’s not really that I didn’t want to see her – it was more like I didn’t want to have to ask her the big question. If she said no…then nothing will work properly.

The guard escorted me halfway to my room and then took off to break up a brawl between two inmates nearby. The place trusted me a little more than some of the other prisoners…maybe it was just because of who I am, I can’t really say for sure. The door opened electronically and locked behind me once I made it all the way into the room.

Megan was packing up her bag and adjusting her clothes, looking about ready to leave.

“Nice to see you’re finally awake,” I commented, leaning forward to give her a quick kiss. I need to play this off just right. For once I really do have to be into all of this lovey-dovey shit. Don’t get me wrong, there are feelings there for Megan, I’m just not the type to express myself in that way.

She turned her head away from me. I was almost actually hurt by that. “Nice of you to wake me up before you left…oh wait, you didn’t,” she said in a mocking tone.

“Babe, what’s wrong with you?”

She paused, almost contemplating whether or not she should really answer that question. “Who’s Andrea?” she finally asked.

My jaw dropped and my mind went numb…how could she possibly have even heard that name? “Megan, how do you know her?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” she replied with an edge.

Whatever she heard it must be why she’s so pissy right now. “It doesn’t matter where I heard it. Just answer the question, damn it, Ronnie! How could you…?”

I was incredibly confused now. Someone really told her some whack story. I grabbed her hand and led her over to the bed. This was going to take a bit more work than I was hoping for.

*Normal POV*

Somewhat unwillingly, I sat down next to Ronnie on the bed. He seemed pretty intent on denying what I’ve heard. Maybe I should just hear him out…just for some humor.

“Megan, listen to me. Andrea isn’t anything like what you’re thinking, ok? Her and I met here and sure we’ve got a lot in common, but she knows I’m off limits. She’s got a plan to get us out of here, but we need your help.”

I scoffed, “Why would I want to help some bitch?”

“You’re not helping her…you’re helping me. She needs something before we can finalize everything, kind of like a deal.”

“And what is it she needs?”

“A couple ounces to push off on. It’ll only cost ya less than $100. You can even take the money from me.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He knows how traumatized I’ve been by this whole drug scenario and he’s asking me to involve myself for some stranger? I could feel anger building inside. Next thing I know, I slapped my hand as hard as I could across his face, leaving a light pink handprint on his cheek.

I saw his eyes flare, and it looked like he was about ready to hit me back, but instead he took a deep breath and acted like he deserved that. When he didn’t have any other response, I spoke up. “Ronnie, you’re crazy if you think I’d go anywhere near drugs after what’s happened because of them, after all the lives they’ve ruined.”

Ronnie leaned forward and pulled my head close to his until our foreheads were touching. “Baby, I know how much this is asking of you. I wouldn’t even consider asking you to do it unless I knew that it really would work and make things better in the end,” he pleaded.

I felt like crying for some reason – like I just wanted to break down here in his arms, but I couldn’t allow it. I wasn’t quite sure what to do…what to say. “I’m not sure, Ronnie. I’ll have to think about it. I…I just need to get out of here for now. I’ll give you a call later on,” I whispered, preparing to stand up and bolt out of here.

He moved his hands down toward my arms and gripped tightly. “Megan you listen to me. First of all, do not tell anyone about this conversation. Second, you would do this for me if you really love me. Think of it of a test to prove your love to the world…”

“Like I said,” I breathed out, ready to break free, “I’ll think about it.” And with as much force as I could put forward, I shoved him off of me and left the cell without turning back.

Craig arrived in record time at the prison parking lot. I hastily opened the door and got inside the car. Craig was about ready to bombard me with questions, but immediately stopped himself when my body started shaking and I finally willed myself to let the tears fall.

“We’ve got a problem,” I mumbled, “Ronnie’s just getting worse.”