Days of the Old

Not even five minutes after Zacky’s latest remark, we heard the front door opening and closing, and several footsteps coming toward the kitchen. My head snapped up at the sound, but I anxiously stayed in place as Matt and Val retreated back into the house to greet everyone.

Laughing filtered through the sliding doors and echoes of cheerful ‘hello’s filled my ears. “Where is she?” I heard an elderly feminine voice ask and I gulped nervously, standing up but not moving any closer to the kitchen. “I want to see my great granddaughter!”

Mary Lou. Oh god, what should I call her? Just Mary Lou, or Grandma? I couldn’t see myself calling her ‘great Grandma’ every time I saw her, so it was between the former two.

A couple made their way out to the deck then, and I instantly knew they were Herb and Mary Lou. They were both pushing eighty, as expected, and sported thick lensed glasses. I smiled nervously at them and waved, trying my best to be as nice as possible.

“Oh, dear! Look! She looks just like Mattie!” Mary Lou crowed, and as soon as she got close enough, she engulfed me into the tightest hug I’d ever been in. Her arms shook as she hugged me as hard as she could, and I found myself struggling for breath.

“Mary Lou!” Herb scolded, but he couldn’t get the wide smile to leave his face. “You’re gonna suffocate her!” After a moment, Mary Lou pulled away and smiled apologetically and stood next to Herb.

They were the model couple, I was guessing past their golden years. Both silver-hair but looked as happy as they possibly could be. “You can call me Mary Lou, sweetie. Those two back there,” She gestured toward Matt and another woman before continuing, “Make me feel old enough.”

The smile didn’t leave Herb’s face. “Same goes for me, too. Call me Herb.” He momentarily pulled me into a hug before letting me go, and I was almost happy that he wasn’t as touchy-feely as Mary Lou.

Now that was over with, I snuck a glance behind them and saw three other people standing beside Matt and Val. The girl would Mary Lou had pointed to earlier, and a couple in the early fifties. Mary Lou took my elbow and brought me closer to the small group, and I briefly looked back at the Avenged crew to see what they were doing. For once, they were quiet. Honestly, I was surprised Jimmy didn’t jump up screaming ‘Nana!’ or something else along those crazy lines.

I turned back toward them as soon as the girl introduced herself. She grinned widely. “I’m your auntie Amy.” She was blonde, the same shade as the older lady she was standing next to, and she had the same green eyes Matt and I shared. I was little shocked by how tall she was – almost as tall as Matt. Which meant she couldn’t be any less than just under 6’.

Surprisingly, she didn’t hug me, but I didn’t exactly mind. I could tell she was nice though, I didn’t think she didn’t want to hug, she was probably just hesitant to do so. I smiled back at her before turning my attention on the couple standing beside her.

They were both in the mid-fifties, but they looked young for their age. I had already figured out who they were, Kim and Gary. Kim with blonde hair and Gary with salt and pepper. I could immediately tell that Matt, Amy and I got our eyes from Kim, while Gary’s were chocolate brown. And after getting a closer look, I saw that Amy could pass for a younger Kim. They looked almost exactly alike.

“I’m Kim, your grandma!” She looked completely over the moon as she hugged me. “And this is your grandpa Gary.” She said once she pulled away, and I smiled at him too.

All of these smiles I was giving were fake, and I felt horrible about it. It wasn’t because I didn’t like them or anything, but it was as if I didn’t even know how to properly smile anymore, I didn’t know how to actually mean it. Like I didn’t have it in me to be the happy person I used to be. That made me scared, because I didn’t like feeling like this, and I didn’t know if I was ever going to get better.

Gary merely smiled, and he seemed like he was a man of few words. I knew I would like him just because of that.

“Alright,” Matt grinned, seemingly happy with how well the introductions had gone. “Let’s get everything started!”

An hour later, it was just Gary (I couldn’t get myself to call him grandpa) and I on the lawn chairs across from the pool. Everyone else was off doing something else, whether it be drinking by the barbecue, helping Matt with the food, or sunbathing. I just wanted to relax and get away from the crowd for a little while, and I didn’t mind having Gary around while doing so.

“So,” Gary started, making me jump. He hadn’t uttered a word to me yet, and I was a little surprised when he had. “How are you liking California?”

“It’s...” I paused, not wanting to sound too enthusiastic about it, yet I didn’t want him to think I hated it here. “It’s nice. I just miss my best friend.” I decided to answer him truthfully, but I had no idea why.

He nodded in understanding, and I was hoping he wouldn’t press the issue, but he seemed interested. “How are you coping, then?” He asked quietly.

“Well,” I sighed and glanced around; making sure no one was within earshot. “I’m not.”
That was the most truthful thing I’d said in the whole three days I had been there, and I had no idea why I was spilling it to some guy I didn’t even know. Something in his eyes though, they held understanding. I could tell he wasn’t going to judge me by the way I act or the things I say.

I hadn’t let myself think about her, or that she was really gone. She was everything to me, and I still hadn’t been able to comprehend that she was never coming back.

Once again, he nodded. And he didn’t say anything for quite a while, which made me nervous. Maybe I had misinterpreted him. What if he was only asking me to be polite, he probably I was just going to answer with the generic ‘I’m fine’ I’d been giving everyone else? Why do I always let loose at the worst of times?

My eyes snapped up to meet his when he began speaking again. “You can’t heal unless you talk about it, Payton. And Matt’s a better listener than you think he is."

We stared at each other for what seemed like forever, and through his eyes I could tell he wanted me to understand what he said so badly. “It’s ready!” Someone screamed at the top of their lungs, and I nearly fell of out my chair, startled. I was pretty sure I even saw some birds fly out of the neighbouring trees. “It’s really, really ready!” I couldn’t help but laugh as Jimmy shrieked and made a mad dash for the two picnic tables that had been set up to accommodate everyone.

Not even three minutes later, I was sitting down beside Val at one of the picnic tables. Gary, Kim, Amy, Herb, and Mary Lou sat across from us, and they all chattered amongst themselves. When they tried to get me into their conversation, I quickly squished all hopes and gave them one word answers.

Obnoxiously loud talking came from the table across from us, and then the distinct clattering of dishes. I looked back just as Johnny was walking along the poolside with several plates, heading toward the barbecue. Then I could almost see it happening in slow motion; he tripped up in his own, sandal-clad feet and it was almost as if he had flung himself forward, the plates he’d been clutching so tightly shattering on the poolside tile.

I couldn’t help it. I broke down laughing, my shoulders heaving as I hid my face in my hands. “Johnny,” Brian said through a laugh as he observed Johnny from several feet away. “You’re such a fucking klutz!”

Soon, I sobered up and began feeling bad for him. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t done anything as klutz as that before, no, I done much, much worse. And I knew how he felt as he sulked and began picking at the remains of the plates before him. I got up, wiped my eyes, and told him I was going to get a broom to clean it up.

It took me a moment to find the broom and dustpan, because I had only been there a few days, but I winged it and eventually found it in the pantry which was placed above the stairs leading down to the basement. I hadn’t even been down there yet. When Val showed me around, all she said was ‘That’s the basement’ and moved on, so that led me to believe there wasn’t much down there.

Johnny grinned and ruffled my hair when I got back with the cleaning utensils. “Thanks Toni.” I scowled at the nickname he gave me and fixed my hair.

“See Matt,” Johnny called as I swept the shards of what used to be plates into the dustpan he was holding. “Your kid’s helpful; she definitely didn’t get it from you!”

Matt just glanced over his shoulder at us before going back to laughing with the guys about it. I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t help but let a few laughs out. If it were Tyler, I probably wouldn’t have helped him and laughed like Matt had, but I was trying to be nice now. And that meant helping out a friend, which I guess is what I considered Johnny, although we hadn’t talked much so far. That was more than likely my fault, though. I couldn’t exactly call myself a social butterfly.

Finally, after I’d helped Johnny dump everything in the trash, I was back in my original seat at the picnic table, except I was squished in between Matt and Val this time. Across from us, the guys continued to torture Johnny about his previous accident and the girls, who were sitting across from their guys, fleetingly attempted to get all of the guys to calm down.

Eventually, that accomplished itself as Matt got back up, along with Gary and some of the guys, and the food started going around. They were too busy stuffing their faces to have the time to terrorize Johnny.

I blinked as a plate filled with steak, a hamburger, baked potato, and a side of garden salad was placed in front of me. I looked up, and Matt was staring back down at me. Did he seriously think I could eat all of that? I didn’t even think Tyler could eat that much, and he ate, a lot. “I can’t eat all of this.” I said, voicing my opinion out loud.

He shook his head as he sat back down next to me, and for a moment he almost looked uncomfortable. “Jimmy said you were,” He coughed as he struggled to find the right words. “He said you were underweight.”

Oh, I would just love to hear how Jimmy actually worded that. “That doesn’t change the fact that I can’t eat all of this.” Although I had lost a few pounds since mom’s accident, it wasn’t any great amount. I was simply always a scrawny kid, and I couldn’t help it. It wouldn’t even matter if I did eat all of this; my metabolism was just too high.

Sighing, he looked down at his own plate as if in disappointment. “Well I guess we’re gonna be here for a while, ‘cause I’m not letting you up ‘til you do.”

Okay – he just blew it. For a while, I had been considering at least trying to eat all of it, at least for Jimmy’s sake. I didn’t want him worrying about me. But that stopped as soon as Matt started trying to tell me what to do, which, I would give him some credit, he hadn’t done since before we left for California.

That was probably why I hadn’t gotten into an argument with him yet. I just could not stand anyone; I didn’t care if it was Tyler or some random person on the street, trying to boss me around. Just, no. And especially when it came to Matt, because even though I was trying to get along with him, I still didn’t think he had the right to actually act like a parent.

I didn’t say anything as I ate the steak and the baked potato. Because that was how much I would normally eat, and truthfully, I was full. So I wasn’t exactly lying when I told Matt I wasn’t hungry anymore. I had tried unsuccessfully to get away from the table under the radar, but he turned around as soon he’d noticed any movement from me.

He didn’t look fazed at all. I bet he was expecting me to say that. “C’mon, Payton. Just try.”

There was no way in hell I was ever touching the contents of that plate again. I shook my head as I tried to get up again, but a hand clamped down on my shoulder. Finally, after having to look up, I saw that it was Brian smiling down at me. “What the hell, Brian?” I asked, nodding toward his hand on my shoulder for an explanation.

Gary was the only other person left at our table, and I cussed as he got up too, leaving me all alone with Brian and Matt. Wordlessly, Brian sat down next to me and pointed to my plate, his hand finally leaving my shoulder. “I said I was full.” I hadn’t even touched the burger or the salad yet, and while I knew I could probably get it down if I wanted to, I just had my heart set on not eating it.

This was Matt’s fault. If he hadn’t tried to tell me what to do, I may have finished it all off, no questions asked. But that was just how I was, if you told me to do something, I would go out of my way to do the exact opposite. Tyler had personal experience with that.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Matt frown at Brian. I rolled my eyes at his lack of patience. By then, Jimmy had twisted around in his seat to observe the situation. “This is your fault.” I called as I pointed an accusing finger at him.

Of course, I wasn’t really mad at him, because I knew he was just trying to look out for me. But did he really have to go and tell Matt? This was turning out to be much bigger than it had to be.

Jimmy simply grinned and got up from his table, walking the short distance to ours where he sat directly in front of me. “We’ve got all day, Payton.”

From inside the house, I heard laughing and the sound of an acoustic guitar. I wanted to go inside and join everyone, which was an odd occurrence for me. Instead I was stuck outside with three intimidating men bent on me eating what was on the rest of my plate. Did I mention they were intimidating?

At that moment, I was cursing my shortness. Pretty much everyone (except Johnny) was at least a head over me. It made you feel pretty small, and well, helpless.

They weren’t my mother. I couldn’t just scoff and brush them off like I’d done with her so many times before. She let me do it mostly because she couldn’t stop me, and I had a feeling that these guys could.

One thing I was sure of though, was that I was more stubborn than all of them put together. “Oh, and by the way, I’m not ‘underweight’, Jimmy.” I glared and childishly stuck my tongue out at him. I wish I could say I was surprised when he did the same, but I would be lying.

Matt sighed. “Jimmy did this for your own good.”

Ten minutes passed. Ten minutes of doing absolutely nothing felt like hours and apparently, I wasn’t as good at this game as the guys were. Hell, they looked like they could stay there all day, while my leg was constantly jumping, and my fingers drummed the same rhythm on the tabletop. “Alright,” I finally sighed, exasperated. “I’ll,” I couldn’t believe I was about to say this, it was so ridiculous. “I’ll eat the stupid burger if it’ll make you happy, Jimmy.” I abruptly turned to face Matt. “But I’m not doing it because you told me to.”

Matt laughed as he slid the plate toward me. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, kiddo.”
Looking up at the sky, Brian raised his hands in the air. “Hallelujah!” I rolled my eyes, but nonetheless began eating the burger. I just wanted to get up from the table and away from these lunatics.

“Wait, Mini-Me!” Jimmy shrieked as I got up from the table a few minutes later. I’d eaten every damn last bit of the hamburger and felt like I was going to throw up, but not because of the food. “You owe me a hug for making me wait so long!” I didn’t reply – I honestly don’t think he was expecting one. I just braced myself for the impact.

Sure enough, within two seconds, I was nearly knocked off of my feet as Jimmy practically squeezed the life out of me. I sighed once he set me down and turned toward Matt, who was leaning against the sliding doors. “Can we just go back in the house now? You make a big deal out of everything.”

“We wouldn’t have had to do that if you weren’t just a bag of bones, Mini-Me.” I gasped and turned around to glare at Jimmy as he poked my ribs.

“I’m not underweight, Jimmy,” I said as we walked through the kitchen, Matt and Brian ahead of us. “I just have a high metabolism.”

Jimmy was about to reply when Gary and Kim met us halfway to the living room. “We’re gonna head out, son.” Gary said.

“It was so nice meeting you, Payton!” Kim exclaimed as she brought me into another hug. When she pulled back and Gary smiled at me, I instantly remembered what he had said to me.

I glanced from Matt to him and smiled nervously. You can’t heal unless you talk about it. How right he was. I felt as if I was bursting with questions and feelings, I wanted to talk so much. But each time I even thought about saying something, the words seemed to get clogged in my throat and they couldn’t reach my lips.

Matt’s a better listener than you think he is. Was he? I had no idea about that. I was scared about what he would say, the answers he might give me. What if I didn’t like them? It would just make everything that much harder.

There was only one thing I could do; I had to phone Tyler. He would help me figure everything out, and he would have before if I hadn’t sort of kept some things from him. Like my non-existent relationship with Matt, for instance. I mean, sure, we talked a little over the past three days, but it was usually just about small things. Like what I did in my spare time, which, I also sort of lied about. Music consumes virtually all of my time, so I just said quickly picked something off of the top of my head, and I ended up saying I liked playing videogames. That wasn’t completely a lie, but I still felt a little bad about it.

I was thinking a mile a minute. Just phone Tyler, he can sort everything out. “I’m—I’m gonna go to my room.” I said shakily when I heard the front door shut, signalling that Kim and Gary had left.

Matt did a double take on me. “Are you okay?” He asked, his expression worried as he stepped closer, and I instantly took another step back. I must have looked like crap for him to ask how I was.

Nodding, I ran a hand through my hair and all but ran up the stairs, not waiting to see what he said.

Just phone Tyler.