My Best Friend's Brother

I sit in my first hour and draw on my notebook while trying to listen to the teacher. It is the second week of school and I am already having problems with paying attention. Most girls draw hearts, right? Well I have never once in my life drew a heart. Never. Instead I draw music notes and animals.

The teacher calls on me.

“Yes?” I ask.

“What is Ethos, Pathos, and Logos?”

I sigh and answer. English may be my favorite class but this school is just too academic for me. My old school was so much more interactive and fun.

Some one behind me pokes me in the back. I frown and turn around.

“What, dude?”

The guy that poked me glares at me, not angrily, but admiringly. I looked at him sideways.

“Woah, I.. I....I forgot what I was going to ask. You a-are really pretty.” He stutters out. I laugh a little and smile slightly to be nice.

“Well, thank you.”

He puts his hand out. “I'm Ethan.”

I hesitantly shake his hand. “Melody.”

“Oh, what a pretty name.” He gapes at me.

“Ethan, would it bother you to pay attention and leave Mrs. Rose alone?”

He mutters a 'sorry' and I turn around. He is actually cute, but a little different.

Different is good.. Maybe I can stand it here.. I dunno.

My first three classes pass quickly and then it's time for lunch. One thing I love about this school is there is six classes a day and only about six and a half hours of school. Plus, you can go off campus for lunch! Not that I do, I can't drive yet and I wouldn't feel like walking.

I get a salad and water from the lunch line and pay for them. I stare around the cafeteria looking for Brenden but when I find him I see him next to his girlfriend. I sigh. I walk outside while thinking about my old school. Again.

I always had someone to sit by there. I was never alone but if I was there this year I would most likely have to sit alone. I sit down under a tree and start eating my salad.

Gosh, I keep going back and forth of whether I like it here or not. It's hard to decide. A tear falls unwillingly from my eye.

What is wrong with my life? I screw up it and screw up others. That's why I left!

I sigh and kick the ground with my foot. I know I'm not happy here, but there I would go crazy. I guess I kind of feel suicidal at the moment but I know I can't leave my mom. She has done so much for me.

God, I'm pathetic. I bet they are glad you are gone, they probably aren't even sad. I wince with each thought of them, I know I screwed up big time with them and it hurts. I need to just try and be happy and deal with this. I wanted to move, and here I am and I'm not even happy.

I see a shadow above me and when I look up I see Brenden. His eyes are wide open.

“What the hell, Mel? Are you okay?”

I nod and wipe my eyes realizing I had been crying pretty hard. “Why are you out here?” I ask.

He sits down next to me. “Well, Lauren asked why you didn't sit by us and I just thought I would find you and force you to,” He smiles. “but it looks like we are having some technical difficulties. What's going on?”

“Psh, nothing.” I shrug and finish my salad.

He raises his eyebrows and touches my nose. “I don't think so, explain!”

I shake my head and scoot away. He scoots closer. “I can tell that you don't like it here as much as you want everyone to think.”

I look at him dumbfounded. He barley knows me but yet he knows me, if that makes sense.

“Yeah” I admit. “I don't belong here.”

“Well, why did you move here?”

I look at the grass and pull some pieces out. “I asked my mom to move.” I know I don't want to tell him too much so I try to be as honest I can without telling him everything. I'm not ready to spill it all again.

“You thought it would be good?”

I nod.

“This place is not all it's cracked up to be, Melody. A lot of crazy shit has happened here.”

I knew this place wasn't perfect but it wasn't my home town, so it worked.

He looks me in the eyes. “Would you mind if I asked you why you asked to move?”

I ponder it for a moment. I say “No, I don't. I asked because.. well I have a whole story behind everything and it's a huge long story. You mostly need to know all my past to understand my reasoning but basically because I was falling in love.”

He laughs. “You sure are different, Mel.”

I try to laugh but I can't and I just nod.

“Well, whatever you reasoning is for you wanting to move because you were falling in love I think it's crazy. Because obviously you want to be back in your home town”

I bite my lip. “I don't believe in love.. er.. well I'm not supposed to at least. I know for a fact I had to leave when I started to fall in love though. I can't handle someone or something controlling me. Love controls people..”

He hugs me. “You believe in love, you just don't want to."

I pick at my lips. “I have an intense past”

“I bet you do. We all do, honestly. Some of us hide it more than others”

I fell tears stream from my eyes. I really don't want to tell him any more but before I can stop myself I say “I ruined my best friends life, she is in like a psycho hospital because of me”

He hugs me again and pats my back as I cry on his shoulder. “I don't see how that could be your fault”

I pull away and stare at him blankly. “I got her into drugs. I did them and then she just picked up on my habits. Then I stopped and she supposedly did too but she didn't. She was hanging out with bad people I used to do drugs with and I didn't know it. One day she asked me to do some pills with her and I caved and broke my year of soberness. We ended up in the hospital because we o.d.ed and almost died. We had our stomachs pumped. She was almost in a coma. Then her mom, who you think should hate me, offered for me to come on vacation with them. My best friend's brother who I knew but never really met kept giving me stink eye because he is younger but is still really protective of her.”

I took a deep breath

“He hated me at first. We got closer because we had to share a hotel room. We kissed a few times and I really liked him and shit, it had only been like a week and a half. Then I found out my best friend was dating this chick that I used to be friends with but stopped. This chick was really into drugs. SO me and my best friend got into a fight. It was bad. She told me everything was my fault which is so true and I tried to cut myself. I had problems with that too.”

Brenden was listening intently, not even trying to interrupt me with questions.

“I almost did but my best friend's brother stopped me, being the amazing person he is. Then I soon made up with my best friend and everything was good. I tried not to get close to my best friend's brother, I really did. Then I found out my mom was in a car accident and was in a really bad condition. We had to go home early. I visited my mom when we did and I cried to her and told her everything even though she couldn't really hear me or reply. My best friends brother out of kindness even went into the hospital to me but as we were walking out I was really cold to him. I had to stay at my best friends for a little but till my mom got better.”

I'm a crying mess. I don't even know if he can understand but I keep going on.

“I talked to my best friend after dinner that night, she came into the guest room, obviously high, asking me if I wanted to see my old friends. I declined and made her go by herself. I did not want to see them again. Little bit after she left her brother came in, asked why I let her leave, I said 'I dunno' he dropped it and tried to be all cute and lovey and shit. I pushed him away. He tried to tell me he loved me and I wouldn't let him. I didn't want to hear that. He then said he adored me and I tried to smile. He told me he didn't like seeing me all sad and shit and I broke down.”

The school bell rings but Brenden ushers me to keep going anyways.

“My best friend was gone for two days. She didn't call or anything. We found her at the house I used to do drugs at, where me and all my friends hang out. I seen my ex there, my ex that broke up with me after I got pregnant, I got an abortion but he still didn't want me. I seen him there and remained strong but then I found out he had sex with my best friend while she was there those two days. It hurt. We got her home and her mom told her she would be going away.. to a psycho hospital like I did. Yeah, I was there for when I had my problems with drugs and cutting. I got better, that's why her mom was sending her away. A few days later my mom got better, I said my goodbyes, told my best friend's brother 'I adored him too' and then left and asked my mom if I could move. She said yeah.”

“That's how I got to where I am today, well and before we left my best friend's brother was walking to my house and he seen me carrying a box to the uhaul and I debated whether to talk to him or not. I walked away from him.”

Brenden stares at me with sympathy in his eyes. “Oh my gosh, you never told me all of that.”

"I was always going to be honest to you but never tell you the whole story, I guess something you said triggered the memory train" I say through my tears.