I Know You've Got Your Life In Place But I've Yet To Take The Hint

I knew that I had to do something about Lisa, and fast. Things were changing between me and Jack (too fast for my comfort, I’ll admit) and I just didn’t know where we were going, but I know that me and Lisa weren’t going anywhere, except the high road to hell, maybe.

I sat down next to her on the bunk, bracing myself for whatever was going to happen next.

I wasn’t expecting her to throw her arms around me and start crying.

“Oh, Alex, I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry for everything that I’ve done lately. It’s the hormones, I can’t control them. I don’t know what to do. I can’t even tell you, you’re going to kill me. I’m so sorry, Alex. Don’t hate me. Please don’t hate me.”

I was so confused at this point. I disentangled myself from Lisa and looked at her. Her face was tear-stained and she looked like hell. I may not love her anymore, but I cared about her, and it tore me up to see her like this. I hadn’t thought of her as a lover in a while, a month or two, to be honest, but had started seeing her like my sister.

“Lisa, what’s wrong? You can tell me anything. I promise I’ll forgive you, no matter what it is.” I told myself I was prepared for anything.

She looked up at me, tears dripping down her face. “Oh Alex … I’m pregnant!”

Okay. Anything but that. Not knowing what to do, I walked out. Her sobs and screams of I’m sorry followed me out into the hallway. I walked into the living room. All of the guys were there; they all looked up at me, confused. The only one who wouldn’t meet my eye was Jack. He was focusing on his nails.

Zack was the first one to speak up. “Alex? Anything you want to talk about?” Concern flashed in his eyes and I just found that I couldn’t stand anymore. I dropped to my knees. Instantly, I was surrounded by everyone. Jack was first, closest, holding my hand and whispering comforting things to me.

I was about ready to tell them, when Lisa came running into the room, hair a mess, makeup all down her cheeks, tears everywhere. Her voice was rapsy as she kept knelt on the floor beside us and kept whispering how sorry she was, over and over.

Everyone gave me questioning looks and finally I just blurted it out. “She’s fucking pregnant.”

Strangled sounds came from two people. Lisa was one. She’d obviously misinterpreted my impatience, self-loathing, and guilt as anger towards her and the unborn baby. She fled the room before I could even look at her. The other person was Jack. I saw the tears that formed in his eyes; I felt the burn of his skin as he yanked his hand from mine. I wanted to call out to him, I wanted to tell him that it was going to be okay, but it wasn’t. It really, really wasn’t.

So I sat there like an idiot and let the two most important people run out of my life, without the slightest idea of how I could make them happy. No matter what, one of them would get hurt.