I Know You've Got Your Life In Place But I've Yet To Take The Hint

Jack hadn’t even tried to talk to me in three days. We did our thing on stage; I guess no one had noticed that we weren’t quite all there because we hadn’t gotten thousands of tweets complaining about it. But other than that, he was mostly by himself or with Zack. Every time I looked up, he was with Zack, talking, smiling, and even laughing.

It peeved me off. He was my best friend. Not Zack’s. Right now, I just wish I could erase everything else and then maybe I’d have my best friend back.

I was currently in the middle of writing down some random thoughts in the form of lyrics. Lisa was sitting on my bed, a protective arm wrapped around her stomach. Her flat, unchanged, baby-concealing stomach.

Things weren’t very good between me and Lisa either. Because, as much as I hated to admit it, I wasn’t happy about her being pregnant, and as much as I fought it, I just couldn’t bring myself to accept it. We’d always been careful. We barely even had sex because I barely even saw her.

She hated me for not wanting to accept it. It wasn’t like I could say she was lying, she had the results from a damn doctor, for crying out loud. I just wish I could make it go away.

There was a knock on the door and I looked up, shocked to see Jack standing there.

“Er … Alex, I need a favor.”

I wanted to refuse him, to scream at him that he wasn’t there for me and I needed him so he could go to hell with his stupid problems, but instead I took a deep breath.

“What can I do for you, Jack?” I hated that my voice sounded formal and unfriendly. The last thing I wanted to do was fuck things up for good, because I was sure that he’d come around eventually, but if he thought I was mad at him, that’d take even longer.

“I need to borrow a shirt.”

I was startled into laughter. “Er, okay, but … can I ask what’s wrong with your clothes?”

Jack looked at me with a somber expression. “It’s no laughing matter, Lex. I’ve been bleached.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Bleached?”

Jack sighed, sitting down on the other chair beside me. “Yeah. I don’t know what happened. I went to go through my clothes today and I noticed that one was stained with bleach. I figured, what the hell, maybe Vinny did laundry again or something.” We both laughed at this because Vinny should NEVER be trusted to do laundry. “But then as I pulled out all of my shirts, they all had white spots on them. They’re all stained with bleach, it’s just like someone poured a bottle of bleach into my drawers. I’m glad I keep my pants somewhere else because no one else’s would be long enough to fit me.”

I was so confused. “Why would anyone do that to your clothes?”

“I don’t know, Alex. But I need a shirt. I’m going to buy more clothes; I guess I don’t have a choice.”

I hesitated. He was going shopping? Maybe I should ask to go with him. Maybe we could talk. Maybe he could tell me what to do. Maybe …

“Lex?” his voice invaded my thoughts.

“Sure. Do... do you want me to come shopping with you?” I asked quickly.

His smile faltered. “Er … not today, Lex. I’m … I’m going with Zack.”

I frowned a little at this. “Okay.” I grabbed a shirt off of my suitcase and threw it at him. With a nod and a two fingered salute, he walked out the door.

Lisa looked up at me. “I don’t know why you bother. He’s obviously pissed at you and he doesn’t want to talk. Just forget him; he’ll come to his senses someday.”

“Fuck you, Lisa. That’s not how friends work. We don’t just forget about each other. But you wouldn’t know that, would you, because you’ve been too busy hanging off of my ass to make any friends of your own.”

I jumped to my feet and ignored the strangled cry that came from her. I grabbed my jacket and stalked my way off of the bus. I saw Rian and Vinny standing around, and as I got closer, I heard them debating about getting a case of 24 and celebrating our first day off. I smiled. Perfect.

“Let’s make that two cases of 24, you guys. I’ll buy!” I hollered as I skipped the last two steps towards them.

I saw the guys share a look. I knew what they were thinking. For three days I’d kept to myself except for shows or mandatory events. Now, all of a sudden, I wanted to hang out. Obviosuly, they were onto the fact that I wanted to get drunk enough to forget everything for at least a night. Oh, so what. Sue me.

I better enjoy it, because soon … I was going to be a ‘daddy’.

That sobering thought was enough to make me want to stay drunk the rest of the tour.