Shaming is a Necessary Thing - Comments

It's rude. That's the plan and simple truth of it, but you're a male and I don't think you'll ever get it. But shaming is not necessary. In fact, it's a failure most of the time. To prevent STDs, homosexuality was stigmatized. Did that stop AIDS? No. It just caused unnecessary hatred. Instead of saying women are whores, why can't we just say condoms are important? There's no reason to make someone feel bad for sleeping with people, it's a personal choice. And if I were to dress in a see-through top and short shorts, I still reserve the right to say no to anyone. I reserve the right to not have sex despite the way I dress. Clothing does not equal likelihood of having sex. The fact men believe that contributes to rape culture and you can't pretend it doesn't because it does.

I'm going to try to sound as nice as possible while I tear this to bits. I'm not trying to shut down your opinion, I'm just giving mine.

"What the hell is "slut shaming"? Not liking the fact that some people don't like whores?" Just the fact that you think some girls are "whores" is very insulting.

"The "one night stand" type of girls I have spent some time with are the type I would never take seriously for a relationship." Just because a girl has sex with a random guy one night does not mean she isn't into relationships. Maybe she had a bad day and wanted to have some fun. Maybe she just likes sex? Is that wrong?

"Grow up kids. You have internet access, you have enough food, you live in a world where you can say whatever the fuck you want on the internet. Surely you're not that oppressed." So, if I have food/internet, I lose my right to be offended when someone puts me down?

"If I see a girl dressed really skimpy and showing off waaaay too much. I'll assume she's pretty easy. That's just how it is." This is just flat out offensive. Say this with me. CLOTHING DOES NOT DETERMINE A GIRL'S WORTH. 90% of the time, girls dress for themselves. Not so boys will think they're "easy." And what's wrong with being easy, anyway?

"We need to be shamed about certain things to take action and be better people. How far are we taking this "let everyone do whatever they want" bullshit? Are we going to start accepting murderers and rapists? STOP MURDER SHAMING GUYS DON'T JUDGE SOMEONE ON THE FACT THAT THEY WANNA KILL PEOPLE." Why are you comparing having sex to murder? That's completely different. Killing someone is illegal.

"Why be "proud" of being a slut? What's so impressive about having sex with a bunch of people you barely know? Why make a huge deal about it?" Because society needs to change. People like you are the reason why the words "slut" and "whore" still exist. Like you said, who cares what someone else does? It's none of your business.

This whole blog entry is filled with bigotry and it just makes me very angry. You are a boy. You will never understand how a girl feels when someone calls her a "slut."

Just found this.

Anyway, I'll admit that I'm slutty. I wear tiny clothes, I flirt and I'll just admit this: I have posted photos of myself in lingerie on Tumblr.

Having said this, I also need to remind people that these things I do, do not mean that I have a lot of sex or a lot of partners. Tbh, I've had 4 partners in my life and I'm 21. So, I'm not promiscuous, even if I act sexy or slutty or whatever.

Still, I get called a whore on a daily basis and that is really not nice. What I do in bed and what I wear do not make me any less intelligent, kind or an overall good person.

So, I'm sorry, but calling someone a slut is not necessary.

I believe in sexual freedom, not "having sex with a bunch of people you barely know". I think that is what "slut shaming" is about. Sexual freedom. Indeed, I do concede that the whole debate thing is blown out of proportion and silly. But how you worded it and how other people act/say about it gives me an idea that people don't know what the hell they're talking about.

@ The Doctor
I'm telling him what he's saying, not stereotyping that men don't go through some level of stigmatization in regards to the gender roles that society places upon them.

Regardless of any "oppression" or "patriarchy" or any other words people get upset about when used, it's just fucking rude to call someone names, or to assume things about them based on how they look. Well, people can think whatever they want, and people ought to grow a thicker skin and learn how to handle being called names, but it's still rude. That's literally all there is to it: calling people names is rude.

People can put a "feminism" or "anti-slut shaming" label on it all they want, and I'm a feminist so I agree with it, but naturally anything having to do with feminism raises people hackles unnecessarily. I think it's ridiculous that people feel the need to advocate calling people names and putting people down just for the sake of disagreeing with a feminist viewpoint. Just don't be mean! It's really not rocket science.

And this is just my two-cents: I don't think shaming is "necessary" as far as sexual promiscuity goes. If you don't know the person, if it's just some random person on the street wearing skimpy clothes, why would you even want to comment on their choices? That boggles my mind. But I guess if it's someone you know and care about that you don't like the choices of, then talk to them nicely about it. Don't "shame" them. That's counterproductive. That's so counterproductive that it's laughable.

In fact, the entire debate of slut-shaming vs. anti-slut shaming is laughable. Just don't be an asshole.

Don't you have some bodybuilding to do?

Haha, 65 comments?
I think this just goes to show that some people need to calm their shit. Blogs are opinion based, y'all.

@ The Doctor
Do any of the things you mentioned for men and sex have to do with slut shaming? No.

@ The Zac

Sorry, I was interrupted. Everything is okay in moderation. A little too much can be poisonous.

@ kea.angel

Mind informing me on what I did wrong? I took down what I said and sent it directly to her. I'm not trying to start a fight with her, and nor am I trying to be disrespectful. I wasn't being condescending either.

Sobre was being very condescending by putting words in The Zac's mouth and I don't see you taking any action.

So please tell me what I did wrong and why I deserved to be banned. I deserve that much, don't I?

Please keep discussions respectful and do not insult other users or be condescending. This is the final warning.

@ charity is true.

Sis? I'm a woman?

Since when? Nobody informed me of this!

Sis, I get that. Am I annoyed with this whole subject conversation? No. Do I think other subjects could be used as a replacement for this on-going conversation? Yes.

I just personally feel we can share and express each other's opinions, but they can only be repeated so many times before someone has to realize their opinion is not going to change an opposing one on this site. I'm sorry, but no one blog with 50+ comments is going to magically change anyone's views on shaming. A personal experience will.

And that's all I'm gonna say.

@ Embrace

@ The Zac

Bah, I doubt that one. Yours was funny and quite a good read. Mine drags along and flops back and forth.

I drag things on because I'm like that.

@ Embrace
I think you're dead right. You expressed a lot of my thoughts in a much better way than I did.

@ charity is true.

This is kinda a big thing in on it's self. Also, it's good conversation all in all. Sure, too much of it can get annoying.

It double sent that last one.

Too bad there's no delete option.

@ The Zac

No, it should have been done in a message and I ought to copy and paste it. I should delete it as well. I do not intend to start a war, after all.

Regardless, what'd you think about what I've said? Seeing as I have already said it. . . some feedback . . .

Just when we were right about to get out of this thing...