To my soul mate (That's right, I know you exist):Where are you?I don't know who you are, or what you look like, or even if you're a boy or girl (I'd bet money you're a girl though), but I know that when I find you I'll love you for everything that you are. I know that when I find you I will have found what I've been longing for my whole life: someone made for me. When I meet you I'll know right...

Lindsay. There is truthfully no other name that is written all over my binders as much as yours (except my own) and yet I still refuse to tell the world. I know that whatever we have isn't as big to you as it is to me, but that's okay, 'cause I'm happy to have any part of you. I use to love telling myself that I could just totally cut you off any time I wanted, because I use to get along fine...

Dear Lindsay,Why does it have to be you? For two years I’ve loved you, loved you more than anything or anyone in my pathetic life. I've never wanted anything as much as I want you. You're the only one who can make me heart beat a thousand beats per minute. For two years, you've been what I have looked forward to everyday. Your screen name is the only one I’ve searched about 10 000 times for...

Dear Swap,I love you all with all of my heart, but I hate this. I don't doubt I’ll have to live with it though, because my future is set and it's not your fault. But you're a huge asset to that. Whenever I’m around you guys I feel amazing, in control... happy. I never have to paste on a smile for you all, because no matter what happened or how bad things are, or how long I cried the night...

As this world turns again and again we, as human beings, struggle against all the bad things that happen to us. The Inconvenient Truth is not excessive carbon dioxide in our atmosphere, for there is something far greater: far deadlier. The one thing take takes a toll on human life and human beings will to live: our inability to get along with each other. Think about it... murders and broken hearts...

If my heart stop beating today would the world shed a tear? I know for sure that if this world just stopped breathing for a bit, I wouldn't cry. If this world stopped beating I could finally live, we all could. It's like an Ultimatum: either we live or the world does and the world is winning. The world turns and we hang on to whatever it is that we call a life and whatever it is that we call...

It's probably not a shock to know that humans were not God's greatest creation: God's greatest creation was love. I don't know where I am with God and I guess that makes me sad in a way, yet I hold onto this in-between stage because I want to hold on to the sin of love. You know you're messed when good things, such as love, become a sin. What is good wholesome love? Even as I ask that I know that...

Hello again diary!I feel really bored right now and I just realized today, that my eyes have gotten worst. This is really disgusting, because I’ve always said that out of all my senses, my eyesight was the best. I don't know, I don't feel like admitting it to myself right now, but I’m sure it’s gotten bad. Well I’m farsighted, if that makes it any better. I think sometimes I misinterpret...

Valentine's Day '08Hi Diary =]I figured since I kept writing it'd be wise to date things, but that's just not how I roll. Today is the exception. So it's another valentine's day and I’m expecting nothing. Today was too long, as many days are and to make it worst I had to walk home, which I wouldn't have minded if my mom would have just called to tell me. Is a text too much? Well... I guess I...

What makes my situation all the more depressing is that being gay is socially acceptable, up to a point. It's okay to be like this now, for anyone. But I can't accept this world's approval. The world isn't really overrated, underrated probably fits just fine. From a Christian view, I am taught to be apart from this world and this only really adds to my predicament: I can't act on this. Chu Hien...

Things I'd Never Say; Words I Would Never Speak: Hello DiaryHow would it go? Would it be simple and easy to say? … Is anything easy to say? Well, yeah... lots of things are easy for me to say, but of course those that I’ve spent my life not saying, will always be hard to get rid of. Thinking about it now, I’ll probably never get what I so earnestly yearn for and maybe that’s for the best,...