The Illusion of Separation - Comments

I LOVEE THISS~
:DDD
And Invader Zim, too. ;o
I've actually been watching that a lot lately as well.
Damn, do you have special Savannah mind-reading powers or something? xDD

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Sorry for the late comment; I haven't been on the computer much.
But you know what goes here.
Because I love every chapter you write. ;o

i was so lost, because i haven't been able to read this properly, but now i have. I read the chapters all over again, too :) the updates were great, baby! this is really getting good and i wonder what's going to happen to chris, like is he going to stay like that forever, or will he like go through "ghost whisperer" and see the light? I like how you captured the emotions realistically, they didn't seem strained or forced at all. I love how you made Chris a non-famous person, and added character to him. I'm not really sure what he's like in real life though, but i like chris :3

I doubt you know this, but at first when I started reading this story, I didn't know who in the heck this dude was, but now I know, because your story seriously got me into him. I'm glad I stuck around for this story, because I've really been enjoying it so far and you're doing a great job. This was a great update :D<3

Yes! You added that bit! I also follow Chris on twitter and then I noticed that. I thought it was quite hilarious but then was happy when they made up. It isn't Chris's fault, he does just have that brotherly instinct in him. Don't we wish Chris was our brother :)

I was honestly a bit confused...it kind of went fast, in general.
Maybe if you'd have stretched it out and explained the scene a bit better?
Still can't wait to see what happens with Stephen though :)

Not much of a comment but I just wanted to say that I'm incredibly happy that Carter can see Chris. And about that picture of Chris licking Carter... do you think you'd be able to put up a link in the next chapter? Update soon!

:D x 92570982347509834708327581634875612590203409.
seriously tho, words cannot even begin to describe how much i love this story. c:
and i hope her and carter do somehow find a way to bring chris back.
even if it doesn't actually make sense. ;o

and jsyk, chris makes me smile.

oh, and can i have a link to this picture where chris is licking carter?

Great, as always :)
I'm glad Carter can see him too.
I cannot wait to see what happens next.
I hope you update soon :)

I'm torn on the fear of the dark. I feel like it has more of an importance beyond what is in this chapter, but it isn't set up for one I feel. It feels like this is it for the fear, but at the same time it feels like there is more of a meaning to mention it so much. Does that make sense? It has meaning that I feel like will be mentioned later knowing you, but with the way the chapter is written, it just seems like that's the last we'll ever hear of that.

I couldn't even begin to imagine drowning in my own blood.

That was my favourite line. It was great and I'd love to see how having to think about what happened to Chris upsets her, like if he starts to remember, or if she has to tell him.

Aw, we shouldn't pick on Steve. He's lame enough in real life that he doesn't need to be lame on the internet. Cut him some slack, he tries. I like that you included that to show that a relationship like Chris and Hannah's isn't something you come across every day. We see Steve and Dorothea more: the couple that isn't really a couple. They're just two people that spend time together without that real spark. They're together when they shouldn't be. It emphasises what Chris and Hannah have.

Chris' line with the milk was great. I expect that out of Chris. He's that kind of boy that doesn't care if what he says makes sense to you because it makes sense to him. He's kind of illogical half the time, but that's just Chris. Take him or leave him. It was the most realistic bit of the chapter.

I'm not sold on Carter's reaction. Something is off for me and I can't pinpoint it. It just feels more like a movie reaction than a real reaction. You know the "go after the murderer in the house after finding the dead body instead of calling the cops and running the hell away." reaction. There's just something off for Carter, who was the rational one in the earlier chapters.

WHOA!!
I didn't see that coming.
I can't believe Carter can see him!

As always, amazingly written :)
I can't wait to see the next one :D

ahhh I love love loved the update! I'm sooo hoping Carter saw Chris. :)

i fucking love this.
and you. :D
but what the fuck is up with carter?
(excuse my french.)

haven't commented in awhile :( sorry! anyway, after catching up on the updates,
i am practically in love with this story! as usual, i'm looking forward to the next one!
it's really interesting how she can see him even though he's dead! and i feel bad for
carter that he lost chris... at first i thought he was kind of the bad guy, but now i
don't think so....

anyways, update soon?

I really like the way you ended this chapter. Once again you did a great job. Reading this is so intense. Its just the way you word everything. Its great. Keep it up. I'm eager to read another update<3

so, i just happened upon this, and i think you know how i feel about it. ;o
this and dreamworld are the only reason i go on mibba, ngl.

I adore this story. It has made me speechless. It is so different from everything else I have read. Please keep it up. I can't wait to read more.

Poo to over emotional Carter. It's a little too sappy, like it's just a step over what I would expect. A breakdown, yes, but the dialogue, no.

I'm not sure if...if I can be my own person without him.

Hello codependency on Chris that was not set up previously. Carter was set to be this strong character that took care of himself and others. I can't see this being true. Maybe he can't be the same without him because Chris complemented his personality, but that was just not working for me. Even if Chris helped him along in life, it's not fitting.

I like that you start off with Chris annoying her and acknowledge that with love comes having to deal with the things that piss you off about another person as well. It's not always great. They do things you really don't like so that's realistic to say that.

criss-cross applesauce

What the hell is this?

I'm interested mostly in seeing how this relationship between Hannah and Chris can continue with Chris being dead, but not really gone. Is he going to have to move on eventually and so will she? By some miracle of Savannah brand sci-fi will he come back to life?

There's nothing wrong with realism. It's not really there for me yet. It's getting better. I mean, I swear a damn lot, but I feel like you forced that in there so much. I know in times when I'm trying to explain myself, I'm less likely to swear because I'm trying to get out what I'm thinking. But you are managing well with the body language and expressions. I think especially with Chris' character that's his strong point in the writing so far.

I love this new chapter as much as I love chocolate, and thats a lot. Keep it up!

I feel like I'm supposed to be sympathetic for Hannah, losing her boyfriend and having to deal with seeing his ghost, but I feel bad for Carter, even though I feel like narration makes him out to be wrong for the way he's acting. He's more upset than Hannah because he doesn't know that Chris is there. He can't see him. He can't hear him. He lost his best friend and that's that. He's not coming back to Carter so I don't like that while we're sympathising with Hannah, it makes Carter seem like a jerk to the audience because he's being rude to Hannah.

I think telling Chris he's dead is sort of anti-climatic. It's a weak reaction on Chris' part. Even if he's crying, what he says is just weak. I think silence would have been stronger. Hannah just keeps talking while Chris processes it. I think him getting stuck in the counter was nice comic relief for an an emotional chapter.

It snows in Joplin. Honestly it does. It's not a lot, but it does snow. Winter gets cold. I see that you used your broken air conditioner situation in the story though. Stop talking about Stella in your author's note. No one cares about whoever she is ;)