The Core - Comments

Just from what I have read, I must say, I really enjoy your story! Very detailed and I can picture myself in each scene you have written. I love your story. It is very original! I cant wait to continue reading more and seeing what else you have up your sleeves for this story :)

Wow this is a great story! It's so original and that's hard to come by on mibba these days. The beginning chapter definitely hooked me in. Your description is great, and I'm definitely curious and want to know more, great job.

Woot, you kept my attention for more than the first chapter. I'm so glad I read this. It's like The Last Airbender, or Hanna, but in a more believable way. I think it's very well-written and the plot is really interesting, so pat yourself on the back for a recommendation and a subscription! :D Keep writing!

Okay so...I'm not quite sure when I started reading this, I just know it was 8:30 when I started to be tired, and now it's midnight when I just finished everything. I am completely enthralled and obsessed with this story; I find it hard to find books like that, so that's definately something for this! Plus, it's hard to come across such well written, thought out, original stories on mibba, so congratulations for me as a subscriber and I can't WAIT to read more!

Hello I would just like to start with I think your layout is amazing because I can actually read the story. Well it looks nice, but often I come across stories and I'm forced to use the default layout. As for your story I think you have an amazing talent. Your story gets points across and has a beautiful flow. Keep up the good work!

Your story is great there isn't too much repetitions in it yet it is full of details and it never gets boring one can really see that you are not forcing yourself to write it just comes to you keep up the good work :-D

Just from the little bit I've read so far I'm hooked! I want to keep reading it. I'm really interested in learning more about the Advisors and the place they are in, in general. Your writing is very good. It has a natural flow and I think that the plot itself is very original. I'm really interested. After I read more I'll comment again :) Very enjoyable.

Hi! I'm from the Comment Swap!
Let me just start off to say I really love your layout. It's not too distracting but it's still very nice c: Secondly, I absolutely in love with the concept. Your use of detail is impeccable and your character development is great too. I'm definitely going to keep reading this one.

I'm sorry if it posted twice!

Comment Swap:

I can tell you really enjoy writing and to me it seems that this all comes natural, unlike me I spend countless hours having writers block and I get so pissed off that I just write anything and it turns out like crap. The description that you use are great you can definitely picture what is going on in the story in your mind. This is something different from what most people read. It's really good to see something different and not the same thing you read on Mibba over and over again. Also the layout is very nice and fitting. It's colorful but also gets the point out of the story so you can pay attention to the story rather then the layout. I may not like these kind of stories but you definitely have a talent with writing and coming up with interesting ideas. It interests others and maybe not some others but just because those people do not like the story you never should stop writing. I've learned that when someone tells me something bad about my story I stop writing, which isn't something that I should be doing but I like getting GOOD feedback or POSITIVE criticism so it at least sounds nice. Keep up the good work though and keep writing ;)

Comment Swap:

I can tell you really enjoy writing and to me it seems that this all comes natural, unlike me I spend countless hours having writers block and I get so pissed off that I just write anything and it turns out like crap. The description that you use are great you can definitely picture what is going on in the story in your mind. This is something different from what most people read. It's really good to see something different and not the same thing you read on Mibba over and over again. Also the layout is very nice and fitting. It's colorful but also gets the point out of the story so you can pay attention to the story rather then the layout. I may not like these kind of stories but you definitely have a talent with writing and coming up with interesting ideas. It interests others and maybe not some others but just because those people do not like the story you never should stop writing. I've learned that when someone tells me something bad about my story I stop writing, which isn't something that I should be doing but I like getting GOOD feedback or POSITIVE criticism so it at least sounds nice. Keep up the good work though and keep writing ;)

Comment Swap:
First i would like to congratulate you on a truly original story line! You don't find many of these on Mibba, its refreshing.
You're writing is very elaborate, which is good. One thing is i would try to avoid using the same word so many times when describing something. In your summery you said "swirl" like 5 or so different times xD
Ah other than that, good job :)

I think you have quite the story going on here. The description is amazing - and you honestly don’t read too many fantasy stories like this. You set up a real good flow and it is just all around amazing. No mistakes that I could spot and just extremely well done. Great job, keep it up!

I can honestly say that if it were not for comment swap, I would have never to read this, but I am so glad I did. To me the idea of creating an entire new fantasy word and engaging an audience to learn about it, is almost an impossible task, but you manage it like a pro. When I read through your chapters, I feel a real place, real people and it doesn't seem like just some crazy, outrageous world that someone made up out of boredom. Please continue!

YAY an update :D I was so excited when I saw you updated. I've been waiting to see what was going to happen. I'm actually really surprised that Lark told him about the other places. But I like that she's opening up and warming up to him more. I'm really excited to see where else this goes. Update soon :D

The creation of a fantasy world can be a little daunting but I think you've done it well. The summary, as mentioned before, is very engaging. There are no spelling or grammar errors, which is good. Overall, I think this story is very interesting and wish you the best of luck in continuing.

I think this is a brilliant story, I really do, I hope you update real soon as I want to read more! I'm definitely liking and subscribing, I love the layout and image they work well with the all of the chapters! PLEASE UPDATE SOON!

The summary was incredible! I love the play on words and how when I read it I felt like I was there watching the whole thing unfold, I absolutley love it! I love everything about this story, the fantasy world you've created it really catches my attention. I also love how descriptive you were, that pretty much alone makes me want to comtunie reading, I am defintley going to be subscribing to your story, good luck with future chapters!

The summary was incredible! I love the play on words and how when I read it I felt like I was there watching the whole thing unfold, I absolutley love it! I love everything about this story, the fantasy world you've created it really catches my attention. I also love how descriptive you were, that pretty much alone makes me want to comtunie reading, I am defintley going to be subscribing to your story, good luck with future chapters!

The summary alone made me want to continue reading. I love y0ur writing style, the words seem to flow effortlessly. the layout is simple and nice. the storyline is wonderfully original and unique. quite happy to have come across this, it's a great piece of work.