Fixed in the Shadows - Comments

Hell. Fucking. Yes. Comment swap gave me an Avengers story! (Also, if memory serves, you commented on mine! haha!)
Okay, so I love your layout and banner. I think it adds a lot to the story. Also, it's very well-written, which is rare in Avengers stories and fanfiction in general. All in all, a very good read! I may even subscribe :D

Love the avengers!

from the comment swap! i just saw the avengers not too long ago so this is sort of perfect timing for a story like this. the style of writing, how it's all present tense in the sense of "I walk slowly out of the control room" was hard to get used to, but seeing how that's just personal preference, i could still tell you're a great writer! i like your description, and how you write out action. good luck with your story!

-Comment Swap-
Although I'm not an huge Marvel fan, I enjoyed this fan fiction a lot! However, I think you could work on your flow a little more... Your writing was a wee bit choppy. As for grammar and spelling, I found little too correct. (Some minor errors, but nothing overly profound.) So, other than flow, I really have no complaints. Keep up the good work!

-From the comment swap-
So I'm actually super unfamiliar with all of the characters because I've never seen any of the movies but your character tab helped me a lot! I really like that you did that. Despite not being into the Avengers though I enjoyed your story. You write very well, there were little grammatical errors and no major spelling errors. Keep writing!

-from comment swap-
Woah, this is awesome! I absolutely love this. I'm a big nerd when it comes to Cap. America, Iron Man, Thor, etc. so I loved this so much more than I had expected too. I found absolutely no grammar mistakes, nor did I find any spelling mistakes. I might have noticed that at some points you'll forget a small word like, "so" or "and," etc. Other than that, this is great! You've just earned a subscriber for this story. I love this.

Comment swap brought me here. Everything pulled me in right away. The summary, the layout, and the picture. The layout is gorgeous, I really like the purple. Your story is great, it has a lot of detail and helps you visualize things. There were little to no grammar errors. And no spelling errors. Well not big ones. Great story overall. Keep Writing Babe! xx

This is just lovely. I feel like the second time around I'm understanding things much better than before. The Amount of Thor in this is just aweeesommeeee! You did great with his conversation parts in this. Update soon please! :D

Hey I’m from comment swap. I’m not into the Avengers at all. I have not seen the movie and I don’t think I will in the near future. However, I can’t deny your skilful writing. I like the story line and the character. It’s pretty good.

I'm from comment swap :) I'm not really into the Avengers either, but I like your writing style! I noticed a lot of "I", but I suppose that's what happens when you're the narrator. The plot is definitely flowing nicely and timely, and although I agree the summary could be shorter, it's in the making to be a kick butt story!

Hey, I'm from comment swap :)

The first thing I noticed was your long summary, but I'm not going to dwell on that because I can see others have.

I'm not into Avengers, but this story was well written and the plot is flowing nicely and seems to be well-planned.

Also something I noticed was your lack of emotion in your writing, but again, others have dwelled on it so I won't.

Overall, a nice story, I just recommend that you take all of your comments into consideration.

Here from the comment swap - love the Avengers!

Like the way you've worked your character into an already pre-exsisting storyline.

She has an intriguing history - would be interesting to see this explored.

Great work!

Comment swapper here (:

As everyone else has said, your summary is too long. It should be short and sweet; grab the reader’s attention without giving too much information.

Also, as Aris mentioned, you give little detail/emotion in your story. Your punctuation and grammar though, is excellent so good job on that (: I only read the first chapter but I like it and I think it looks interesting, I’ve never seen The Avengers though and although I’m not a huge fan this seems kind of cool and I’m excited to read more.

Overall I think your story is good, just a little more detail and emotion and you’re good. By the way, I also really like your layout.

Hope this helps, and have a nice day!

- hunter.

Comment swap-
The summary could do with being more of a summary, a lil shorter :) but over all this could give you more to in co-operate into your story right instead of having chatacter backgrounds, you could build these up within your story?. I like the descriptions.

The summary is a tad long, but the story is excellent, I haven't seen the Avengers yet(sad, I know. But I was grounded the whole time it was out. :() but I like this a lot. A larger range of sentence structures and description will improve it even more. :)

I love the Avengers. Saw it six times already. :D
I do agree with Aris, the summary is quite longer than what it should be, but the content in the story has made up for that. I like the way you've made Black Widow act almost resentful towards Violet.
Keep going, I'm enjoying this so far. :)

I think the summary is too long. A summary is basically what you would find at the back of a book so to say, and it's use it to detail what's going to happen in the story, rather than involving character backgrounds. While this is a fandom and background may be already spoken for it's extremely important to work in their background with the story so it seems more original rather than just going off a fan-know basis.

Instant mention of tumblr so you're in my good books. Can't say I reblog food though. I gaze at them in their tags from afar...ah, the limits of being a black and white blog. Hmm Hollywood undead mentioned, too, nice.

Way too many 'I's' starting sentences. There's a massive variety you can choose from so go back and swap some around. Reading further on this is a very recurring pattern. I'm led to believe you have a basic and limited knowledge of sentences, and my old english teacher would call these 'simple sentences'. Try to involve more punctuation and defiantly more detail. Without the summary I would be completely lost, and as I've already mentioned how surplus the summary is, it's a good idea to give background information in the story.

After the bit of speech describing who found this 'tesseract' it's a good idea to add some character emotion. There's a noticeable lack of it throughout, and this point would be ideal for your character to reminisce being told about this.

For a times lapse it's considered more professional to do it from a a point of view, rather than from a authors note. An example would be 'After two hours' or 'two hours later' etc.

Some points you really have to improve on
* Sentence starters.
* Character emotion
* Details on surrounding and/or character background
* and more varied sentences types (Complex rather than simple etc.)

I also think you should expand your vocabulary.

However, your punctuation was excellent, especially in speech, and your characters in speech are well developed. Outside of speech I have little idea of these characters though, and I can see this ruining the potential this story has. Keep writing and feel free to question me on anything stated <3

This story is very interesting to me because you created another character into the team, not just some bystander or love interest. It's a cool idea that you made your own super hero and have a plot for them. You should add some more back story on Skylar to even her out with the popularity of the Avengers, but all in all it's good!

Honestly, I knew/know nothing about comics and superheroes apart from names and what they look like in costume, but this story was very interesting to me. I'm looking forwards to seeing what happens next and you've done a really, really great job putting each character a certain type of enigma to make them lifelike and what I would assume their characters to be. Your tone is solid throughout and your grammar and structure seems to be diligently thought out and edited entirely. I'm excited to see where this goes and I'm glad that Mibba sent me to this page!!! Keep up the great work!

Comment swapper here!

Omg, I actually received your story and you received mine! LOL! I don't know about you, but I find this amusing :))

Your fic is the second Avengers-based story I've read through comment swap. I must say you did a good job in the summary (you explained all the characters). Lucky for you, I'm a Marvel comic book superhero geek, so I basically know who is who and such. I can imagine the faces of those readers who doesn't know a thing about the Avengers.

Honestly speaking, I can't write movie/tv based fics. So kudos to you who can make this happen. I tend to write more of band fic as I'm really comfortable with that.

Nonetheless, I enjoyed reading your story and thanks for commenting on mine :))