Four Leaf Clover - Comments

well, that just got super creepy O_o

...and bri just got creepier O_o got a feeling that she wont be able to outrun him though..

Oh, yes! I'm finally able to read this. I just started having a writer's block which in turn makes me have a reader's block, which I can't concentrate on reading anything. That really sucks. I was planning on starting to read this since last week. Ah, well, I finally read all the chapters you'd posted so far.

Seriously, your summary just drew me into the story. And you writing and the way you tell the story is so amazing. I find myself not being able to stop one I started reading. Brian seems really creepy though and you managed to make this Arianna girl be such an interesting character and I really hope I can read more! I'm gonna stop rambling now.

Anyway, update soon?

p.s : There's no such thing as updating too fast, my dear. ^_^

I'm really starting to love this story, I love creepy psycho Brian. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Great chapter
Update soon

@ EzioAuditore
Yay! And thanks. ;)

@ angelbyyourside
Ah, you won't :)
I'm updating it tomorrow..

Holding my breath for the update. Hope I don't turn blue. ;)

It was hard to keep my cool when she was making me feel so nervous, but I was fine. I love the way you describe Brian's facade, it's comical but you just know nearly every guy does it!

The smile on her rosy lips seemed a little nervous too I love the way you focus in on your character's features, for instance Arianna's eyes, her lips and Brian's tattooed fingers in the last chapter, it really stands out to the reader and helps them develop a crystal clear picture of what you're trying to get across, continue with it! It's really effective :3

I’d make her feel as special as she should feel every day, that was for sure. I love how cute stalker!Brian is omg, why can't he be my boyfriend xD

I could feel his hand resting on my lower back as he led me further into the building this was such a cyute action, I love it when characters seem to have a life of their own, and this really brings out the protective/possessive nature of Brian's stalker side. I loveee it xD Nice characterization sweety :3

The atmosphere surrounding me was so warm and welcoming, I instantly relaxed a little bit more. There was quiet, calming music playing and few people were present, chattering away happily as they seemed to be enjoying a really nice evening. This was a beautiful description of the restaurant, I felt like I was walking into it myself! Carry on with description like this, it's perfect :)

We ended up in the far back, nice and private with not too many people around. I actually liked that. It's like you're writing me with him, what the hell hun! But yes, if I recognize her well, then it shows you're characterizing Arinanna like a real person not just a 2D Mary Sue :) This is good :3

This feeling had just been life screaming at me, just begging for me to finally take that step, because obviously she was something that I’d been missing – and I fit into her life just alike. I just knew it, because I felt it so clearly right then and there. And when something like this hits you, you just know. This was a nice example of a lovely piece of emotional description, a lot of stories really need this otherwise the characters seem alien. I love the way describe the emotions in this :)

At the same time, I slowly moved my hand just above my radio, locking the cars’ doors with a barely audible click. Oh God wow creepy Brian you outdid yourself there, that one freaked me out a little and I like stalkers!

Okay so I've noticed you get a little confused between 'of' and 'off' other than that, this story is really pleasant to read and I love your characters, they really appeal to me. The snippets of description you go into are beautiful, I'll continue to read this, and give you feedback :)
xxxx

I enjoyed watching people as they walked by and making up little stories in my mind about what was going on in their lives, where they were heading. I did that from time to time. It was somehow calming. I DO THIS ALL THE TIME! XD I smiled whilst reading this, it's such good characterization I'm always worried about O/C girls and band members in hetro fiction because a lot of people really do not write the girl well at all, but I'm really liking Arianna, I'm connecting with her. This is really good since I barely EVER read hetro fiction :)

“Yep. I still have homework waiting at home to keep me busy, and possibly strangle me in my sleep.” I told her, rolling my eyes. Sometimes I really thought the teachers belonged behind bars for how much they asked of us, but I guess that was just life. Oh God I hear you Arianna xD This was me for the entire school year last year holy fucking hell xD

replied, and dug a pen out of my bag before putting a finger on a napkin on his table and slipping it to the edge of it, writing my number swiftly before sliding it back towards him. I think this was just so quirky and well integrated. I loved the whole idea of writing someone's name/number on a napkin. I saw it in a music video once and fell in love with it I'm so happy it was incorporated :D:D

I'm loving this so far, I'm wondering where you'll take it!
xxxx

They were almost teal blue, but hints of green overpowered the soft color, mixing just right. I really feel that authors need to describe eyes in great detail you know? It's really powerful when it's done properly and I think you do it perfectly :) I could really imagine these eyes ;___;

Well, my usual booth since she’d been coming here. Every afternoon at about seven minutes after three PM she’d be here. Always the same booth up towards the front, near the doors so ever since I was 13 I'd really wanted a stalker :x YES I AM VERY WEIRD, so I studied them in depth and Brian sure is sounding like a creeper, SO I LOVE THIS XD I love how precise he is. It's perfect, and your starting to capture his obsession fantastically. Oh god I'm dying over here this is so interesting. I AM LOVING CREEPER!BRIAN.

“Five five five, zero one…ninety seven.” I whispered near silently to myself as I typed the number swiftly before saving the contact. I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM XD Oh my God I cry, why has this not got big ;__; ?

Okay so I'm really entranced by this, it's very different from most stories and I am HOOKED. We'll see! So I'm about to eat my breakfast, and then I'll read the second chapter :3
xxxx

This is interesting. I like how strange Brian is.

Ai, santo Deus... E esse beijo?!

Yay! I'm really digging this story. I also like how you broke the sentences up more than in the first chapter and you've been working on your sentence form. It wasn't horrible or anything...it just looks more neat now! I usually don't comment on those things because it doesn't take away from the story for me personally like it may some people. I'm hoping things go well with Arianna and Brian. It kind of seems like...once she falls for him...he's gonna bring out some kind of dark secret or something. To me...it seems like he may be hiding something but I could be entirely wrong!

I really am having mixed feelings about this. I can't decide if the date was cute, uber creepy, or a little of both haha. I'm going to say again that I'm loving how much of a creep Brian is and that he's completely aware of that fact. And Arianna is handling it well, but I can't decide if she's really just that calm or she's just putting on a calm facade in front of him. If I was her, I'd be freaking out just a little bit. Driving out of town and stopping somewhere in the dark just seems to scream that something isn't quite right, but that could just be the fact that I'm aware of what Brian's really like. Loved it! :D

They were smooching

the date was so cute and bri where the hell did you take her you creep?? might be funny to go from calling the date cute to bri being a creep.. but seriously.. stopping somewhere in the dark.. locking the doors.. yeah.. creeeepy

You can't update to soon for us readers haha we like it when new chapters come out
Update soon
Amazing chapter

Comment Swap:
This is really interesting to read because usually if a guy is a little older, he's just being a creep and he's unaware. But this one worries about it and seems rather nervous which is more genuine. I still did get the stalker/creep vibe, mostly because I'm the same age as Arianna and it would weird me out if this ever happened to me, hahaha.

But I like the details and descriptions. Occasionally, it can get a little wordy so be aware of that. This is a good story, though. Good job.

Comment Swap!
So I think this is a pretty interesting idea. Personally, I prefer the guy, Brian's, P.O.V. But that really doesn't matter, lol. Like I was saying, I really like the idea. The only thing I thought was that you just had a lot of sentences in there that I just skipped over, but that's really just personal preference. So, good story! Keep it up!