It Was a Transparent World - Comments

@ Liacide XIII
Okay. Thank you! I'll talk to a few friends who read this and see if it'd be okay to try that. Thank you so much! :D

@ Tipsy.
I completely understand!
Personally, I just put my different point of views in format whenever I want to change it with their name. It's just how I inform readers that it will be changing. You could do it with any of the special things with bolding or underlining. Anything that will help the fellow reader out. I hope that helps!

@ Tipsy.
I completely understand!
Personally, I just put my different point of views in format whenever I want to change it with their name. It's just how I inform readers that it will be changing. You could do it with any of the special things with bolding or underlining. Anything that will help the fellow reader out. I hope that helps!

@ Liacide XIII
Thank you for reading! And for your advise
Truth be told, I have no idea how to work about the point of views. I wanted readers to know both Myra and Adam's thoughts, but it ended up being confusing. How can I improve on it?

First off, I would like to say this is a very unique story and I quite enjoyed reading it. I hope you keep up the fantastic work and continue on thus strongly. Two things to work on, possibly some spelling errors here or there, but the thing that got a little difficult for me would be the switching of point of views and I had to reread it a few times. I do find it interesting the relationships that are in this one, seeing how they could have been changed with a little bit of support. I can’t wait for more!

@ Divine Faery
Thanks hun! Glad you liked this (:

First I love this story so far, even with the prologue being so short it said enough to get me really interested along with the summary. What's this Divine power of hers? Why is she dying? What did her parents do that made her not want to send her last moments with them. So little was written and yes so much was going on without it seeming like you were just trying to fit things in there. I love stories about the supernatural especially when it involves ghost.

I'm also wondering what it is she has to do after death, that should be interesting.

Great story, I'm subscribing.

The first mistake I found was just a typo in the first sentence.

“Myra, open the door!” a woman yelled, her voice pleading as she banged the door of her daughter’s room.

Should be

“Myra, open the door!” a woman yelled, her voice pleading as she banged on the door of her daughter’s room.

@ Indelicate.
Thank you! I'm glad you liked this

This is such an amazing story to read! I'm in awe :) I normally don't read stories like these, but I do remember seeing this as a story of the week in the MM, and I'm glad that I'm finally getting to read it! The fact that the chapters are short are quite nice, as it makes it better for me personally to read them and stay engaged. There's so much detail and twists and turns in each chapter that successfully keeps me on the edge of my seat and constantly wanting more! I really can't wait to see how this story continues and I can't wait for another update!

This is such an amazing story to read! I'm in awe :) I normally don't read stories like these, but I do remember seeing this as a story of the week in the MM, and I'm glad that I'm finally getting to read it! The fact that the chapters are short are quite nice, as it makes it better for me personally to read them and stay engaged. There's so much detail and twists and turns in each chapter that successfully keeps me on the edge of my seat and constantly wanting more! I really can't wait to see how this story continues and I can't wait for another update!

@ A. J.

I'm glad you remembered the poor cat haha. I was sure I was gonna have to remind readers when I next wrote of Trevor >.<

@ Tipsy Returns
He's pretty cute with his bowing and smiling. I vote him for favorite animal. Favorite ghost is Trevor the cat even tho we don't meet him. Just cuz he's a cat, I like him.

@ A. J.
Then I'll vote for the tiger! He has no dialogue and doesn't pain me to come up with some. Yep, defs a fav xD

@ Tipsy Returns
Adam is a secondary character so I can see why no one voted him as a fav, but he does have redeeming qualities. After Myra passed, he had regret that he didn't make time for her and he did talk to her even when she quit talking to her parents, so there's that. Myra is a good main character and you developed her perfectly. She seems crazy at first, then we see into her more. As for Night, he's most complicated to me. And he rocks cuz he has a tiger! Yeah, loving him cuz I like bad boys. He can be brazen and cute in the next second.

@ A. J.

Thank you!! Thank you so so so much! These comments totally made my day! ^_^

I'm glad you like this (and didn't say I suck. Is that because I threatened ya? Haha ) You have no idea how creeped out I was while writing chap 11, and all Adam scenes while the struggle was going on. I hate ghosts and stuff, you know. I dun watch horror movies either, because I won't be able to sleep then. Sounds ridiculous, eh? xD Also, I'll ask you this too. Which one of the three did you like the most? When I asked other readers in A/N it was a tie b/w Night and Myra (with no votes for Adam! )

Thanks again, for this! You're such a great friend!

chp 19: Wow, so many great questions from Night to Myra and hard for her to answer. I understand now why she saw hell- thanks for Night's explanation.

chp 21: I'm so happy Myra has a place to feel she belongs at last! Night is confusing at times, with his hot and cold vibes, but I do like him and I'm sure he'll take care of her. Also, Glad he took care of Adam for her. She deserves to have a friend like him. She's not so creepy anymore! haha. xx

double post. oops

The brother is going though some scary crap. You do justice to evil ghosts everywhere. =) Great descriptions of the ghosts and I like the insight you give with Reed's thoughts.
Myra actually saw hell? I figured since she helped her brother, she'd be on an elevator to heaven, but she did bring on those demons to him... hm... love that I have to actually think about this.

honestly got shivers here. (chp 11)

Chapter 7 was brilliant. So much feeling in a short chapter, but you conveyed everything this poor girl is going through. Betrayal and rage. Awesome job!