It Was a Transparent World - Comments

woooooooooooooooooow. this is so awesome! I love how the chapters are short but they still pack a lot of detail and action into them! And I love that ghosts aren't called 'ghosts'; they're Wandering Souls. This was so rad, I loved it!

@ Tipsy Returns
:

@ Synyster Vengance
Such a sweetheart! Thank you <3

@ sidra
@ hawker!
Ty!

Right off the bat, I loooove the mystery and creepiness in this story! The writing style fits perfectly with the content, disturbing yet with just enough vivid detail to grab the reader’s attention. I love the “wandering soul” concept, too; it makes me wonder what she did in her life to make her stay in between Heaven and Hell.

I really liked the little backstory you gave in chapter 5, too – it gave more insight into her actions and also into her family life while still staying true to the haunting nature of the story itself. I love the twists, with her brother becoming who she used to be and his descent into the madness he thought his sister faced, and your imagery is so disturbing in a good way. This is a perfect read for Halloween – keep up the great work! :D

@ Tipsy Returns
No need to be embarrassed!!

At first I didn’t expect this to be a ghost story, but I was enjoyably surprised when it turned out to be one.

From the beginning chapter, my interest in Myra was immediately hooked as I wondered what was going to happen to her, or what she was going to do [possibly to herself] and eventually what's going to happen to her brother, Adam. The story progression is very suspenseful and well done and the pacing is good.

I really enjoyed this story. The ghostly world building is amazing and unique, something I've never come across before. The layout fits the atmosphere of the story very well. The transitioning of the point of views wavered my reading in the first few chapters, but so far that’s the only thing that’s disrupted the flow of the story.

This is a very enthralling story! Can't wait to see what happens next :3

@ Tipsy Returns
I'm not going to kill you, doll! You're my Senpai, I'd feel horrible;-;

@ Synyster Vengance
Exactly! You know my feelings now, kouhai chan! (You have the right to kill me now, Syn )

@ Tipsy Returns
Well, I hope you can get it to mesh well! I know I often have to rewrite chapters several times to get them perfect in my own opinion

@ Synyster Vengance
Nah not a block...the plot's in my head, and am writing it. It's just...hard with the emotional conflict and stuff in that one. But I'm really excited haha. This arc's coming to an end soon!

@ Tipsy Returns
Well, writer's block is a bitch sometimes. Just don't rush, or it may not turn out as good as you want it.

@ Synyster Vengance
Um...Thank you so so so much! This already might make the day better! Haha, thanks again OMG! I'll post another chap in a few hours I think. That one is a bit hard work...having trouble with it...

@ Tipsy Returns
It was perfect! I really love the way you write, Tipsy.

@ Synyster Vengance
Haha. That was hilarious Was the chap ok, Syn chan? And glad you commented and are staying. Thank you sooooooo much!

@ park chanyeol
Thanks! Glad you liked it!

@ silent hearts.
Ty!

Firstly, I find the idea of the chapters being so short very unique. You don't throw tons and tons of detail at readers which is always nice. They are straight to the point, but also filled with enough detail to leave us aching to know what will come next.

This little girl's story is so sad. Just the fact that her own family had no time for her and her "madness" and the fact that she had to live the way she did all alone...it's devastating.

Part of me feels pity for her brother now that Myra has given him her "gift" while the other part of me understands that she felt hurt and that it is her way of revenge. Now, maybe he will understand what she has had to deal with her whole life.

I like how when you are telling the story from Adam's P.O.V, that it's told in first person, but when it's Myra, it's third person. I think it's quite a neat idea to throw in the point of views like that.

Overall this is a great story, and I enjoyed everything about it! DO continue on with your talent!

This is truthfully unlike anything I've ever read. I don't quite emotionally know how I feel about it. Anyway, on to the actual writing...
The rotating point of views, particularly in the first few chapters, make it incredibly difficult to follow. But while I'm not particularly enthusiastic about supernatural stories, you write that very well. It isn't that you explain every little detail, but enough things are explained and others interpreted that it isn't confusing in that aspect. I feel like in the earlier chapters, you did very well with indirect characterization, but it doesn't feel like that is consistent through the story. And maybe you're still in the exposition phase of this story, but it feels as if it is moving at either a very slow pace, or 500 mph. There are certainly elements of this that I enjoy: the scenery, dialogue, and sentence variation are all incredibly well-done, but overall I feel like there is a lot of work that could be done.
Happy Mibbaween!

I do hope they get there in time... Otherwise this isn't going to be much of a 'Saviour' moment, but more of a funeral planning one

@ lionheart.
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked this! And thanks for sub'ing!

@ bedussey
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed!

oh wow, this is so creepy. I love that you've chosen to have such a young girl as the main character because it makes her actions seem so much more bizarre. It's just strange to imagine a little girl trying to kill herself and being sent to an asylum, because you know at that point, her mind has to be truly unsalvageable. she's such a unique character and I love it.

There's so much irony in the fact that her family never had time for her "madness" when she was alive, and they're all anguished now that she's dead. and the fact that her brother doesn't truly regret her death, but her "insanity" is just heartbreaking. I love that she's now made him into someone who can see ghosts because now he knows her pain. this new development with another ghost who's apparently concerned for her brother really has me hooked!

What an original concept! Seriously, what an interesting read. I love how she's putting her brother what she went through, gives a more detailed account of the pain Myra was really feeling. and of course, gotta love Night Scorpion. Overall I'm looking forward to reading more! Glad you put this down for me to read. I'm definitely subbing and can't wait to read more!