It Was a Transparent World - Comments

@ KillerPenguins
OMG thank you! I'm so glad you liked it!

@ Littlelight
Ah! Thank you so much in that case, and I'm so sorry... *embarrassed* haha

@ shelbyvengeance
Thank you so much!

I love how short the chapters are and how it leaves you wanting more. I also love the whole ghost deal going on.

@ Tipsy Returns
Omg for me is amazing my dear

... This is enchanting (maybe enchanting is the wrong word), every chapter made me feel as though I had to read on, and even though the chapters were short they were extremely impactful, everything about this is just perfect and the story as a whole is really strong

@ ROVIX.
Thank you so so so much! This really means a lot! But I would've been a bit more satisfied had you read till chapter 7, it would've answered all your questions...but I really am so so happy! Thanks for the rec too!

@ Littlelight
Um...Um...your OMG gives me a bad feeling...did you not like this? Um...was it bad for your taste?

First off, I'm loving how the layout really compliments the story! The first chapter immediately gave me goosebumps. It just FEELS so dark! Like, I just imagined this girl being totally crazed and it freaked me out. Even though it was short, it definitely left an impression! The second chapter is just as fast paced and it helps the reader feel like she really doesn't have any time to spare so it definitely adds to the urgency of the story. I felt disappointed that her brother didn't have time for her.

Wow, she actually died! Haha, that sounds bad, but I didn't think she actually would die. I think it's amusing how she's just so indifferent to everything when her mother screams her head off. Then when her brother enters the scene, it kinda breaks my heart to see how much regret he has. The way you ended the chapter definitely leaves the reader hanging on and wanting more!

Chapter four just makes you wondering what the hell this chick is going to do! And I envy you for your amazing cliff-hanger skills!

Overall, I love where this is going. I find it unique and think it has enormous potential! You've definitely earned a rec for this! I hope that you'll keep going and make this a great story!

OHHHHH MY GOSH

@ zoe benson
Thank you so much for this! I'm really happy you liked this and sub'ed too!

I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it was not that at all. That might sound like a bad thing, but trust me, I was pleasantly surprised and subscribed now. (I'm also adding this onto the Halloween Endorsements blog, oh yes.)

I love the way you write this. It's quick, short, and keeps the story rolling in a steady pace. The only bit of advice I could give—and this is probably just personal preference so I'm not expecting you to even take this to heart, which is totally okay—is that you could provide a bit more detail in your chapters. You're still telling a story, I know what's happening with the descriptions given as is, but I think a little more detail in places, thoughts, and situations would add a little magic and help you flesh out your characters. However, I'm a sucker for detail so as I said, this could easily just be personal preference so you can dismiss me entirely.

But nevertheless, I sorta-kinda love this a lot. It's so unique and I can safely say I haven't read anything like this on Mibba before. I love how detailed the rules and book were, though! That was super awesome, and I love how it's called Silver Eyes; it's very catchy but subtle, if you know what I mean. I can't wait to see what Adam says to Myra now and I can't even imagine how torn Myra feels right now. Gah.

@ Tipsy Returns
Most welcome!

@ Jackson Teller;
So happy! I couldn't have been happier! OMG OMG Thank you!

@ Tipsy Returns
You are more than welcome. It's the truth! Sorry I didn't respond back sooner I haven't been on much.

@ Lex Luthor
Haha Ty for reading and the comment, though I do feel you misinterpreted a lot of things. My fault actually LOL But, thanks again!

@ Mrs. McCarron
Thank you this means so much to me! I'm so glad that you enjoyed this and are willing to follow. Thank you!

@ Jackson Teller;
Please forgive my stupid comment earlier, just came from excessive shock! This was like the best comment I ever received and it had me confused. But really, thank you so so so much. I still don't believe you said it! Thank you!

I love your ability to write so succinctly that the chapters are short and not riddled down with just too much. It makes this story very easy to read and moves it along very quickly without abandoning detail. The characters are described more with their actions than by you actually writing out these lengthy descriptions, which I actually prefer! On top of all that, I love your plot! This is like nothing that I've read on Mibba before and I'm enjoying it greatly! Definitely subscribing <3 I want to see how this goes. I can't wait for her first interaction with her brother now that he has the same curse she had in life!

1st chapter: It's short, but it definitely makes me want to read more. It's also gives off a creepy vibe, and I'm finding that I like that.

The only negative thing to note would be changing the period to a comma after darling. Also, maybe add "open" to the end of door...

2nd chapter
Right off the bat I'm wondering just how long they stood outside her door. A couple minutes? A half hour?
"It was the time of dusk, it seemed." - It is, or it isn't.

I think this chapter is missing some magic. It doesn't compel me to read any more of the story, as you haven't given me anything to latch on to.

Flesh out the character a bit more, give us more of her.

3rd chapter
It does pull me back in a bit, but the lack of descriptive emotion is pushing me away...

One more chapter-

4th chapter
The book appearing actually reminds me a bit of Beetlejuice.
"She kept it aside" - put it aside?

I love the line "wasn’t good enough for heaven, and not vile enough for hell" although it might look better if you dropped the and, and maybe added an even - after not.

Overall this story seems like it's going in an interesting direction. You obviously have a lot of fans of this, so you are doing something right.

Anyways, it's all just my opinion. Keep writing!

@ Jackson Teller;
Um...Um...Um...Did I read wrong...? You meant another story right? ...

This is truly amazing. You are an amazing writer, and this is just... Ahh, maybe becoming one of my favorite stories!

@ decay
Ty!

It's interesting how you switch which character's POV it is in the middle of the chapter. It's definitely something I haven't seen before. This story is written so simply that I literally breezed by five chapters in like a minute and it's definitely interesting. I'm so curious to see what's going to happen! Great job on this!

@ Tipsy Returns
YAS